Unexpected Past
by AmeliaEverdeen
Summary: Mary Crawley is a woman in her late twenties who has lost her way and is willing to do anything to put her life back on track. But when her therapist suggests that she attends her high school's ten-year reunion, Mary will have to come face-to-face with a very unexpected past. A fun M/M modern AU which is not afraid to touch rather deeper themes.
1. The Shirley Temple Introduction

**A/N:**_ New silly thing that popped out into my mind. I don't know how far long it will go, but I'm definitely going to have fun writing it. Cheers to my lovely and supportive beta Joyce (__**jmu**__). Your thoughts and review are muuuch appreciated._

_**Unexpected Past**_

_Mary Crawley is a woman in her late twenties who has lost her way and is willing to do anything to put her life back on track. But when her therapist suggests that she attend her high school's ten-year reunion, Mary will have to come face-to-face with a very unexpected past. A fun, light-hearted M/M modern AU, rom-com style._

_**Chapter One: The Shirley Temple Introduction**_

Mary looked at the middle-aged man hesitantly. Her eyes were surrounded by deep dark circles, and her hair was probably a mess, but she hadn't felt this good in months. It was now up to this man with the thick spectacles and the strange moustache to say whether she had actually passed the test, if she was _ok _now. Doctor Clarkson raised his eyes from the piece of paper and looked at the young woman sitting on the sofa in front of him.

"It is safe to say, by the stage of these tests, that you are now on a much speedier way to recovery, Miss Crawley."

Mary couldn't believe the man was actually saying those words. She felt tears fiercely filling her eyes, and simply couldn't help herself. "Thank you so much, Doctor Clarkson. I already feel so much better! I promise you, I—"

"Mary." The Doctor calmed her, "I don't need you to promise me anything; I can see with my own eyes that you are better. You are not as severely depressed and regarding the alcohol and other substance abuse, you are completely clean. I can safely say that the chance of relapse is at a minimum."

Mary's face broke into a broad smile. "Does this mean that I can go back to work? That I can quit those antidepressants?"

"No, it doesn't mean that," the doctor answered sternly, "but I don't see why we shouldn't put you to a real test, in the outside world."

"But you just said that I can't go back to my job. What will you have me do?" She couldn't help but feel confused.

"I don't advise going back to work because I'm not sure you are ready to face the stress yet. The purpose of this new test is to have you re-enter the social system, to see if you are able to behave. We can't have you do that and also worry about work obligations," the doctor explained and Mary nodded; it seemed quite fair. "But I found _this_ in your mail and I thought it is the best compromise. Just what we needed."

Mary looked at the piece of paper the man was holding. An annoyed sound escaped her mouth as she realized what it was. "You can't be serious," she managed to say, but the expression in the doctor's eyes spoke otherwise. He was, indeed, very serious.

Mary had been slowly recovering from deepest depression, accompanied by alcohol and drug addictions. She couldn't really remember when her life had started to spin so out of control, but she remembered exactly when it reached rock bottom. She would have loved to be suffering from amnesia or some other disorder which had forced her to completely remove the events of that night from her mind, but unfortunately such was not her situation. She probably will remember that night until her very end. Watching her own boyfriend, the Turkish Hollywood star Kemal Pamuk, dying from an overdose in her bed and not being able to do anything about it...that is something that one could not simply recover from. When she dies, they'll cut her open and find the incident engraved on Mary's heart.

It was her best friend Anna Smith, who had found her trembling beside Kemal's cold body, and it was Anna who had begged her to get some help. But years of a substance-abusing life style couldn't simply be dealt with overnight, and Mary had had to endure a slow but hopefully successful path to recovery. That was why she couldn't wait to tell both Anna and her favourite sister, Sybil, that her therapist was saying that she was so much better. It was incredibly rewarding.

Less pleasing and far more annoying, though, was the choice of _test _the doctor had in mind. He had been going through her mail just to make sure she was no longer in contact with her drug dealers, and to Mary's dismay, he had found the flyer for Mary's ten-year high school reunion. Maybe to any specialist's point of view, such a happening was a brilliant idea. Heart-warming setting, surrounded by friends and family from her past, when everything had seemed to still be untouched. But how could Mary exactly phrase it …? It wouldn't be _at all_ a friendly environment. It may be drug free and maybe even alcohol free, but the people attending the reunion wouldn't exactly be _eager_ to see their famous classmate again. Mary had been the classic High School Bitch. She had power, money and beauty on her side and everyone seemed to follow her just because of that. But she had known, even then, that there were only a few people she could have trusted, and it was mostly her family. The others were mainly people who had preferred being controlled by her rather than being picked on.

What was maybe the worst part of the idea of actually attending the lame event, was that everyone had always pictured Mary screwing up big time, and now they would see that they had been totally, completely right.

"I never said you had the chance to refuse," the doctor informed her.

"But you also said I shouldn't be exposed to stress, and I assure you … _this _will be very stressful."

"It will be the right amount. I have already talked to your sister and your friend … Miss Smith?"

"Yes, Anna. We weren't friends back then, but we went to the same school in Downton." Mary hadn't really paid too much attention to Anna during high school; on the contrary she had even picked on her from time to time. But when they had found themselves being roommates in their University dorms, they had put their past aside and got to know each other for who they really were.

"They are going to be attending the event as well, so you'll have friendly faces to turn to."

"Say what you like, but this simply sounds like a legalized means of torture."

"Pack your bags, Miss Crawley. You are going back to Downton."

* * *

There had been no way to avoid this. Mary had tried and tried to convince Doctor Clarkson she wasn't ready for such a confrontation, but any excuse had been pointless. The doctor was very supportive of her (maybe a little bit too much in this situation), and Mary had found it impossible to object any further. Having someone proud of her was a feeling she hadn't experienced very much recently, but just the thought of that lame high school reunion was enough to make her want to puke. She hated those kinds of things; they were made only for losers who couldn't move on from the past. Even though she had practically been the queen at Downton Prep, she had never attended any of the reunions, even if she knew that her old minions would have loved her to. For years she had received e-mails upon e-mails and she couldn't really blame those people: she was the one who got away, the only person in their class who had made headlines. People were curious; nothing much happened in Downton Village and everyone wanted to get a glimpse of their classmate celebrity. But the reason for her burning those bridges had to do with something else beside high school. Mary hadn't really spoken to her parents (especially her father) in quite some time. There had been Christmas and Birthday Cards, but not much else. Her father, Lord Grantham, hadn't been exactly supportive of her choice in career. She had become a much esteemed fashion designer, especially in the market for young actors and singers, but the company she had started to frequent had led her down a dubious path. How was she supposed to go back to Downton now, when she had fulfilled the wishes and expectations of everyone there by free falling in the public eye?

Sybil had called Mary from Dublin, where she was currently living, and told her that they were going to stay over at their grandmother Violet's place. Despite the humiliation brought upon their family's name recently, Violet could never bring herself to burn all of the bridges with her granddaughters. They weren't calling each other every week, but if either Mary or Sybil would call Violet, she was going to be there for them. Mary had smiled at the thought of seeing her granny again, but she had frowned when Sybil also informed her that she was going to meet up with her and Anna in Downton directly. Anna, who had recently started dating Mr. Bates (the new Principal of Downton Prep School), was already in Downton to help set up the school's fair in the village, and that meant Mary had to travel to Downton on her own. It wasn't too terrible since she loved driving, but she had hoped for an all-girls' road trip for old time's sake.

Mary looked at the suitcase opened on her bed. It was summer, but she knew how the weather could be changeable in Yorkshire, so she packed some jackets alongside her dresses, t-shirts and shorts. She couldn't believe she'd actually have to spend a whole week there. Usually any other high school reunion would involve a dinner only, maybe a party, but no … Downton Prep had a entire week planned, in which the alumni who had signed up for the reunion also had to participate in the Village Fair. It was Mary's definition of nightmare. When she was done packing, she looked at the time on her mobile phone and growled at the realization that she was already late with her schedule. She could never make it to Yorkshire before night-time now. She pondered for a few seconds whether she should just wait to leave in the morning, but the thought of Anna's disappointment made her change her mind.

After loading the trunk of her BMW, Mary closed up her flat in the Westminster area of London and finally hit the road. When she managed to enter the highway, the sun was beginning to set. She sighed and hoped that she could make it to Yorkshire by a decent hour, but despite her ability to avoid the speed monitoring, it was way past 10 pm when she reached the south of Yorkshire. To get to Downton, in the northern part of the county, she had to leave the highway and take the State road instead. But while passing by the sign for the unknown village of Wharncliffe Side, Mary heard a noise that she was pretty sure her car wasn't supposed to make. Just a few minutes later, the accelerator wasn't responding to her command anymore, and the sound of the motor began to trail off. Her car had broken down exactly in the middle of nowhere. She pondered a while about what to do, but then decided to call Anna (Violet wouldn't have been much help).

"M!"Anna cried cheerfully on the speaker. "Are you finally here?"

"I wish." Mary whined and told her about the incident.

"OK, calm down! No need to over react! Where did you say you were, again?"

"I am calm, I'm just really annoyed," Mary explained. "By the way, I'm just right at the beginning of Wharncliffe Side, right after the motorway junction."

"Alright, let me see …" Anna replied, and Mary heard her fingers tapping on a keyboard. "There's a hotel at 1500 feet from the town line, you should see it if you walk a little bit."

"Alright, thanks. I'll call you when I'm safe and sound."

Mary snorted and once she had removed her suitcase from the trunk, she started to walk along the road, wondering why on earth she had chosen to wear five-inch heels. After about ten minutes the lights of the hotel appeared reflected on the wet pavement, and Mary speed up her pace, hoping to be able to check in. The concierge gave her one of the last rooms available and apologized for the fact that the restaurant's kitchen had already shut down. When he heard Mary's growling stomach though, he informed her that if she came down to the hotel's bar, she might find something to eat there. Mary decided not to waste time, and once she had settled in her room, she checked herself quickly in the mirror and went downstairs. The bar hadn't much to offer, as she had imagined, but the sandwiches were more than enough. She ate her dinner on her own over the counter and realized by the high number of men in suits, that this must be one of those Business hotels. When she decided it was time to leave and asked for the bill, the bartender came back with her check but also with a glass of champagne.

"From the gentleman over there," he informed her, and Mary looked up to see a man in his forties winking in her direction. Mary sighed annoyed and rolled her eyes, but avoiding staring at the glass of champagne proved to be more difficult than she had thought. He throat became sore and she couldn't take her eyes off the pretty golden bubbles inside the frozen glass. What could happen if she were to take just a _little sip_? Nobody in that bar knew her, after all. What harm could come from that?

"It looks like you shouldn't be drinking that," said a warm voice approaching from behind Mary's chair. She turned her head, startled, and saw a young man nearing her. He was tall, had silky blonde hair and blue eyes, and was drop-dead gorgeous. Mary swallowed and glanced at the man shyly, noticing that he was looking at her as if he was expecting some kind of reaction from her.

"Is it so obvious?" She simply said, and smiled as the man took a sit beside her.

"Two Shirley Temples, please." He ordered, and Mary just stared at him intrigued.

As she was trying to figure out the reason behind that enigmatic smile, the bartender arrived with their mocktails and Mary couldn't help chuckling. The handsome man looked rather puzzled, so she explained "I have to say, a Shirley Temple isn't much of a manly drink," she teased.

"I was just trying to be supportive" He said, raising his glass.

"I know." Mary smiled and raised her glass as well. "Thank you."

"So, what brings you here alone?"

"My car broke down just down the road. I'm only passing through; Wharncliffe Side doesn't seem much like the tourist attraction."

The man chuckled. "Indeed. I'm passing through as well. Do you have anyone coming to pick up in the morning?"

"Oh yes," she assured him. "My friend is going to send someone. And the tow truck, hopefully."

"Very well," he said, and they started to make some small talk. Mary hadn't had such a pleasant conversation with a man in a long while, and found that she could hardly look away from those shiny blue eyes of his. When she realized how late it was, and noticed how he had started to eye the staircase, she came out and said:

"So, where are we going? Your room or mine?" She asked nonchalantly, knowing very well where the night was headed.

"Oh!" He sighed, blushing instantly. "I'm sorry, I—I never meant … I mean …"

"It's alright." Mary chuckled. "You didn't need to say anything …" She said, reaching for his hand.

"No" he whispered. "I mean … you are a very beautiful woman, but that were not my intention." His voice began to tremble but then he noticed she was becoming more and more uncomfortable. "It was nice … just talking to you." He smiled sincerely. "You don't have to sleep with every man who buys you a drink," he said as he put a hand on her shoulder. "You are worth more than that." Mary didn't know what to say. There simply had never been a man, in her entire adult life, who hadn't had ulterior motives before getting to know her. Almost all of her past relationships had begun after being picked up at a bar. "Good night," he whispered, letting go of her shoulder and heading for the stairs.

"Good night," she whispered back, and after he was gone she realized that she hadn't even asked his name.

* * *

The morning after Mary woke up feeling a little bit groggy from the past day. She took a long shower to relieve the stress and took a new outfit out of her suitcase. The battery bar on her mobile phone was finally full and she rejoiced to be, at last, in contact with the outside world again. There was one missed call from Anna, but before she could manage to compose her number, the phone ringed again. This time it was Sybil.

"Sybil, honey?" Mary answered the phone, a little bit annoyed that she would have to recount the whole of last night's adventure again.

"Mary, good morning! I know about your car trouble, I got to Downton late last night. We are just right about at the hotel where you're staying. We'll wait for you in the lobby." Sybil cut off quickly and Mary closed the call to follow the orders. _We?_ Did Anna and Sybil both come to pick her up? How sweet. She decided she didn't want to spend a moment longer in that place, so she hurried up and got ready to go downstairs and pay the hotel bill. Once she was in the lobby and got in the queue to pay, she remembered about the handsome stranger who had bought her that drink the night before. The whole night was a blur due to the level of her exhaustion, but paired with the blonde-haired, blue-eyed man who had come to her rescue and asked nothing in return, the whole night felt more like a surreal dream. She craned her neck, hoping to catch him checking out as well, but the gorgeous gentleman was nowhere to be seen.

"Looking for someone?" Mary heard from behind her and squealed once she saw her beautiful sister approaching her.

"Oh darling, I've missed you so much!" Mary cried and hugged Sybil as tight as she could. They both laughed and Sybil told her how great she looked and how proud she was of her. "Where's Anna?" Mary then asked.

"What do you mean, where is she? She's in Downton, of course!"

Mary looked puzzled. "You said on the phone '_we are coming_' so I assumed she was with you."

"Oooh, that. No, she's not the one with me." Sybil hesitated, but then smiled nervously and pointed at her boyfriend near the front door. "He is." She explained and prepared herself for Mary's wrath.

"Sybil! You promised!" Mary cried annoyed. "I thought it was going to be _our_ week! You, me and Anna!"

"I know, I know … But Anna has her boyfriend there, so I thought …"

"You thought wrong. You were supposed to be my support, but now I will be stuck playing the fifth wheel!" Mary whined, but turned her head when it was finally time for her to check out.

"Oh Mary, I'm really sorry! But look on the bright side, Tom used to work in a car shop; he will check out your car for free!" Mary growled and shot an annoyed look at Sybil when Tom had started to wave eagerly in her direction. She sighed heavily and gave a look around the lobby one last time, hopeful. "So, you _are _looking for someone!" Sybil cried mischievously, noticing her sister's wandering gaze.

"You can forget about me telling you anything in Tom's presence!" She replied spitefully, sticking her tongue out. Sybil whined a little bit, but Mary laughed and didn't give in. She was going to tell her about the handsome stranger eventually, but she was going to have some fun torturing her first. She had missed doing that too much.

Outside the hotel, Mary showed Sybil and Tom where she had left her car, and after Tom had given it a quick check, they attached it to the tow truck they had rented. The drive to Downton was silent and a little bit awkward, and Mary felt her hands shiver when the first familiar buildings started to appear at the end of the road. She recognized the white pagodas put up for the fair, and Sybil informed her that they were going to catch up with Anna in the afternoon. Their granny had been worried enough and demanded their absolute presence for lunch, plus Anna was busy working up at the fair anyway. Violet had had the biggest luncheon prepared, firmly believing they both looked underfed, while Tom preferred to go help Anna and Mr. Bates, giving his girlfriend some family time. Their granny tried more than once to convince Mary and Sybil to go up to the Abbey to see their parents, but they both refused, given the fact that neither of them had parted on good terms with their parents. Violet sighed, but was instantly distracted when Sybil asked her about Edith.

"Oh, you know Edith," Violet began, "she tries to make a living with that paper in York, and comes to Downton every weekend to pursue poor old Strallan."

Mary laughed snobbishly and asked, "is she still that desperate?"

"Poor Edith." Sybil intervened. "I wish she would understand her true worth and how much better she deserves."

"You think?" Mary exclaimed sarcastically.

"Please Mary, don't be nasty," Violet scolded her, "you know very well how sometimes it takes a great shock for someone to realize that she must change her ways."

Mary knew Violet's sharp words were not focused on Edith anymore. She sighed and filled her mouth with a bite of apple pie, and wished the week to be over as soon as possible.

* * *

When the afternoon finally came creeping in, Mary couldn't wait to see Anna again. Her blonde friend had been her rock throughout her entire recovery process, and she had missed Anna very much when she began to date her new boyfriend. She couldn't believe Anna was actually considering moving back to Downton with John, but at the same time she knew that she had no right to object, seeing that her friend was really happy. Tom came to pick them up around 3 o'clock and drove them to John Bates' cottage where Anna was anxiously waiting for them. Mary was almost frightened by Anna's familiarity with John's house; it looked like she was going to lose her friend to Downton much sooner than she had thought.

"But enough about me!" Anna cried after having showed the girls around the house. "I want to know how you're doing," Anna admitted to Mary. "Doctor Clarkson was reassuring, but I want to hear it from you."

"I'm fine Anna, really." Mary smiled affectionately.

"She is, and she has something to tell us!" Sybil whined. "You don't really think I had forgotten!"

"About what?" Anna intervened curious.

"Alright, alright!" Mary interrupted their excited cries and took a deep breath. "I may have met someone last night," she said smiling, anticipating their reactions.

"What?" Sybil shouted.

"Elaborate!" Anna urged her.

"He was handsome and kind and saved me from making a big mistake with a glass of champagne." Anna liked him already. "We had a very nice time … We just sat there talking with our soft drinks, and then when I asked him to come upstairs with me, he said no." A disappointed sigh escaped Sybil's mouth, while Anna was wondering why her best friend was always selling herself so short. "I know it may sound strange," Mary replied, "but it didn't feel as though he was rejecting me, exactly …"

"Sweetheart, you don't have to sleep with every man who buys you a drink. Believe it or not, there are still some decent men around."

Mary smiled and thought of the night before. "That … that was exactly what he said. I can't explain it, but in that moment I felt _something_."

"A connection." Sybil said, anticipating Mary's words.

"And what is the name of this handsome stranger? How soon can we start web-stalking him?" Anna asked promptly.

Mary growled. "That's the problem. I didn't get his name."

"Oh Mary!" Sybil cried disappointed. "You are unbelievable!"

"I only know that he was passing through that village as well. I don't know his destination."

"Well," Sybil cried resigned. "Since you all came clean, I think it's time I tell you the real reason I brought Tom along."

"Oh my God!" Mary cried. "You're not getting married, are you?"

"Hmm..." Sybil muttered hesitantly. "Something a little bit more complicated than that. I am pregnant."

"What?!" Mary exclaimed, incapable to saying anything coherent.

"Oh darling, that is wonderful news!" Anna said cheerfully and quickly ran to hug Mary's little sister.

"Tom wouldn't let me travel on my own, so here we are!" Sybil explained and Mary could only sit there and witness the two girls exchanging information excitedly. She wanted to be happy for Sybil, but all she could think of in that moment was how Anna and Sybil were both starting to build their futures, whereas hers was a big, messy blur. That was why she was glad when the topic of conversation switched to more current matters such as the lame village fair.

"What exactly do they mean by _contributing _to the fair?" Mary asked Anna.

"It means that whoever signed up for the reunion must take turns in one of the booths the school has at the fair."

"Oh God, please let there not be a kissing booth." Mary whined, refreshing some old memory.

Anna chuckled. "Not if you want the tabloids to print that you were selling kisses to high school boys," she teased her. "Those booths are managed by the kids themselves. We are going to run booths like the ones where you register for activities, the Lost and Found …"

"The boring stuff, essentially." Sybil pointed out, causing Mary to laugh.

"But there's also a very cool booth!" Anna informed them, excited. " The tenth anniversary's photo booth!" As she read the puzzled looks on the Crawley sisters' faces, Anna explained that John had the idea to have tenth-anniversary yearbook printed, which would feature _before _and _after_ pictures. For some of the alumni, that would be a nightmare, for others a redemption. Mary had to admit it wasn't such a bad idea, and the fact that she hadn't changed much (perhaps she was even prettier), made her not be against the idea.

"I can't wait to see some of those pictures," she admitted, chuckling.

That made Anna jump on her seat. "About that! I almost forgot … You cannot believe who's attending the reunion this year!"

She didn't say the name, but the amused look in Anna's eyes brought Mary quickly to the correct conclusion. "Oh no," she sighed, "you can't mean … _Chubby Crawley _is here?" Sybil busted out laughing, hearing her sister say that old nickname.

"Come on, Mary! It's been ten years! You can start calling him by his real name!" Anna said, remembering Mary's nastiness.

"That's the point, it has been ten years. I can't remember his name!"

"It's Matthew, Matthew Crawley."

Mary remembered very well how in her high school years she used to be one of the worst bitches on the planet. Hardly anyone from her school class had escaped without being picked on by her. She seemed to have something to say about everyone. But everyone also remembered very well how there was one person who Mary had picked on most of all. That was Matthew Crawley, or _Chubby Crawley, _whichMary had called him for five long years. Mary could hardly remember anything about her long-lost foe. All she knew was that she had started to pick on him firstly because he was, indeed, fat, and secondly because he had dared to have the same last name as hers. Now that she thought about it, Mary realized how crazy and shallow she used to be.

"But what you will not believe …" Anna continued, "… is how much he's changed!"

"What? He grew facial hair and bought some decent clothes, for a change?" Mary realized only after having spoken those words how mean she had sounded.

"Well, for starters he's not chubby anymore." Anna said and exchanged an amused look with Sybil. "And I dare to say … he's gotten pretty handsome." Well, now, Anna just had to be kidding. Mary remembered so little about Matthew's face, that she could hardly picture him at all without his body fat. Anna caught Mary's doubtful look, so she said, "I can prove it to you! I was managing the photo booth this morning, and he came to take the picture. Here." She said and turned to grab a big yellow file in her bag filled with pictures. She went over a couple of other classmates' photos and then stopped. "Here he is," she said and handed the picture to Mary.

"Oh. My. God." Mary gasped in horror.

"I told you," Anna said. "He's pretty hot."

"No!" Mary cried, incapable of saying anything coherent.

Sybil approached her to look at the picture herself. "Come on, Mary! Anna is right, he is gorgeous!"

"No!" Mary repeated. "I mean – He is, but also he w— _Oh God._" She took a deep breath and realized that both her sister and her best friend were demanding an explanation. "Girls," she began, breathing heavily, "I think I may have asked _Chubby Crawley _to have sex with me last night."


	2. The Inaugural Lunch Confrontation

**A/N:**_ I know, I know … This is unacceptable! I beg your forgiveness for the delay! But life has been crazy lately, hopefully I'm gonna make it up to you with this long chapter! This story is surprising me, because it recently took a direction in my head I wasn't expecting! It will be funny and light-hearted yes, but it will have a sensitive part to it. Not much angst (even when it will seem hopeless), I promise! _

_Thank you all for the review and the general good response to the story, I'm really grateful! _

_Shout out to my beta _**_jmu_**_ and her efficiency, and if you wanna chat or ask questions or whatever you can find me on tumblr with the screen name _**_mocking-ginger_**_. Now I'll shut it and let you read the new chapter :)_

_**Chapter Two: The Inaugural Lunch Confrontation**_

Mary groaned loudly as the bright light of the new day came, blinding her eyes. Someone had just opened the curtains of the guest bedroom's window while she was still soundly asleep. _Had it been Granny's maid Burns?_ It couldn't. The old maid knew very well from her past visits that Mary didn't like to be woken up early; she had experienced Mary's morning wrath already and she wouldn't be so stupid to do that again.

"Wake up, sleepy head!" A sweet voice called Mary, putting a rest to her wondering. She sat up straighter and started to rub her eyes as her youngest sister Sybil jumped on her bed.

"Why on earth would you do this to me?" Mary whined, with the desire to slap away that ridiculous grin from her sister's face.

"It's only eight in the morning, silly," she giggled.

"To me that's _dawn_!" Mary protested, trying to get a hold of the bedspread.

"Yes, but you are not on vacation! You heard Anna yesterday, all the volunteers are expected in Town Square by nine thirty."

_Oh, that. _Mary had obviously forgotten. She had been so shocked and so angry when she had found out about _Chubby C._ that she couldn't seem to focus on anything else. _Oh God_. Just the thought was enough to send a shiver through Mary's spine. She couldn't believe that less than eight hours before she had been daydreaming about meeting him again.

"And I had specifically asked John not to put me on the first shift," Mary cried annoyed, backing up her reasons for wanting to sleep in.

"But it's nice to catch up with everyone! You'll probably be late, but you can have a look around, play some silly games, take that picture… Tom and I will be there to keep you company!"

_Nice_. She had to wake up early _and_ she was going to be babysat by her younger sister and her brute of a boyfriend. The prospects did not improve by the hour, but Mary rose from the queen-size bed anyway. She was going to see her high school mates at some point, and she had to make peace with it. The doctor had faith in her, Sybil had faith in her, Anna had faith in her. Everybody was rooting for her to succeed in the strange experiment, so she just needed to suck it up.

Mary headed to the private bathroom and undressed herself quickly to get into the luxurious shower. As she stood still under the running hot water, she listened carefully to her sister's rambling. Sybil had followed in the bathroom and was talking to her while she was waiting for Mary to come out of the shower. It was something she used to do all of the time when they were back in high school. It was one of those tiny little details of her youth that still managed to bring a smile to Mary's face, even though once she remembered that all those memories took place at Downton Abbey, she was sucked back into an inexplicable misery.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" Sybil exclaimed, once Mary was about to finish. "I web-stalked that Matthew Crawley and I've gathered some really interesting intel, want me to spill?" She asked excitedly, as the shower door finally swung open.

"_Please!_" Mary sighed loudly as she took the towel from her sister and wrapped it around her wet body. "I already told you and Anna that I don't want to hear anything more about that _d-bag_!"

"_D-bag_?" Sybil chuckled. "How so not British of you!"

"Sometimes those colourful American adjectives work best!" Mary justified. "Anyway, I mean it! I don't care if he's the new James Dean or the bloody king of the world! I'll be perfectly happy if this week goes by and I don't have to see his… _stupid face_ around again!"

"His _insanelyattractive_ face, you mean?" Sybil teased as she followed her sister, who was getting into a short red dress with a leather belt on the waist.

"Shut up!" Mary growled, hitting Sybil's face with a pillow.

Apparently she wasn't doing such a good job in making Anna and Sybil believe that she didn't give a damn about her recently-turned-attractive foe. But _who was she kidding? _Mary was _dying _to know more about that sexy bastard; she would love to get something on him that would somehow make her feel better about herself. But when she had finally gone to bed the night before, she had realized how childish that argument was. The whole reason she was back in Downton was to prove once and for all that she had changed, that she was better. She had realized during her therapy that she had an obsessive personality, and while that might have been tremendous for her work productivity, it had been an absolute nightmare when it came to her relationship with alcohol, drugs and sex. After months and months of her sessions with Doctor Clarkson, she was now able to spot more easily those tendencies of hers and it became clear to her that if she were to indulge her curiosity about Matthew Crawley, there would be no certainty as to how far she might go. The best thing to do was ignore his presence completely. This way, _maybe_, she would be able to get the memory of those piercing blue eyes and floppy blonde hair out of her head.

"Is Tom coming to pick us up?" Mary asked while finishing putting on her boots.

"No," Sybil cut off quickly, "We'll meet up directly in Town Square. There was no point in making him come all the way up here!"

"_Sybil,_" Mary enunciated, looking at her sister directly. "You can't keep Tom away from Granny forever, especially not now that—"

"Mary, I don't want to tell Granny about the baby."

"Why on earth not?"

"Because … She would tell _them_. And then they will be all over me again, claiming the right to tell me how to raise my child!"

"You should have more faith in Granny; she's a lot more loyal than you think. Plus it wouldn't be right to keep her ignorant, after all that she has done for us."

Sybil didn't answer right away, pondering consciously on Mary's words. "All I can promise is that I'll think about it. Granny and I are not entirely on the same page like you two are, you know." Mary looked at Sybil and simply smiled, hinting that she was good to go. She knew that her little sister would come around eventually; it was only a question of _when_.

* * *

Just as Sybil had predicted, they arrived late for the 9:30 meet-up in Town Square (not that Mary was complaining). Right before Mary headed to the registration table, Tom had showed up in the centre of the Square and he and Sybil began indulging in quite a public display of affection. Mary, on the other hand, had decided to focus on spotting Anna, since she had no interest in puking because of her sister's indiscretions. Luckily Anna was sitting behind the registration table with a big smile on her face, and Mary ran quickly to her seeking shelter.

"You made it!" Anna cried excitedly, writing down Mary's name on the attendance sheet. "You missed the meet-up, though."

"Yeah, what a _shame!_" Mary replied, not even trying to mask her sarcasm.

Anna chuckled and scribbled a little bit more, handing Mary her name tag just as Tom and Sybil approached them. " Well," she began nodding in Sybil's direction, " you have about half an hour to wander around, but then you have your first shift at the Lost and Found booth." Anna informed, looking at Mary with worry. "I can't really leave the table now; are you sure you are going to be alright?"

"No need to worry," Mary smiled at her friend's concern. "I have two horny babysitters looking after me and …" she teased, making Sybil twitch her lips, "… it is only half an hour, how much damage can I cause?" Anna and Sybil quickly glanced at each other and laughed nervously. From what they recalled, the answer was _a lot_.

"C'mon girls! Cheer up! Let's go have a look around!" Tom suggested with too much enthusiasm for Mary's taste, but he was indeed saving her from the girls' judgement, so she decided to indulge him. They said goodbye to Anna for the moment and dived right into the midst of the fair.

It hadn't changed much; it was your usual Downton Village Fair, with the farmers' booths and the silly games. They were silly alright but since Mary was there, she didn't see why she couldn't play a couple of them while she waited.

"Hey Sybb, wanna go for a ring toss?" She asked while they were still looking around at all of the booths.

Sybil caught the hint of challenge in Mary's eyes and whined, "No, thank you!"

That seemed to surprise Tom, who looked at his girlfriend as if she was wearing a big strange hat on her head. "Is everything alright, love? I thought you loved those games!"

"I'm perfectly fine babe, thank you." Sybil smiled, stealing a kiss from Tom. "It's just that Mary _always _wins at those and then she brags for hours. She basically takes all the fun out of it." She explained while Mary was sticking her tongue out at her in a very immature way.

"What shall we do then, spoil sport?"

Sybil took a look around them to indulge her sister, and spotted something that was just perfect for Mary. "Look! There's the photo booth Anna has been telling us about!" She pointed at a light green booth with bright gold letters that cited '10th anniversary year book'.

Mary looked at the booth and then at her wrist watch. She had just another fifteen minutes to mingle and she wasn't too badly dressed. Maybe it was even preferable to take the picture now that it wasn't so crowded. She would've hated to bump into some unwanted company. "Alright," she sighed and headed for the front table of the booth.

"We'll wait for you here!" Sybil yelled, making it perfectly clear that she preferred to have some quality time with Tom instead of watching her sister take a picture.

Mary rolled her eyes and approached the table, where a girl with dirty blonde hair and unmistakably fake boobs was going through a paper sheet filled with names and boxes. Mary had to contain the laughter which was dangerously threatening to spill out as she recognised the girl to be Imogen Fell, an old classmate of hers. Mary wondered how the girl had found the guts to actually have a picture taken now, since Mary distinctly remembered Imogen as having mousy brown hair and at least one-third less than her current bra size. Maybe Imogen thought of it as redemption. Mary surely thought it was so, so pathetic.

"Hi, I'm here to take a picture." She said to Imogen, wondering if the plastic Barbie would remember her.

"Name?" Imogen replied, with her eyes never leaving the list.

"Mary Crawley." Mary whispered, tapping her foot nervously on the ground. Imogen went through all the names with her pencil, until she found Mary's and checked the blank box next to it.

"That way." She said, pointing at the booth's entrance. "Another volunteer inside will take your picture." Imogen informed, still not paying much attention to her.

"Thanks." Mary muttered puzzled, a bit disappointed by the fact that Imogen didn't seem to recognise her at all. She sighed quite loudly and headed for the booth entrance, and when she was about to go in, the fake blonde jumped from her seat calling her.

"Wait!" She said, finally meeting Mary's eyes. "You are _the _Mary Crawley…"

"Yes." Mary answered quizzically. "Is there a problem with that?"

"Imogen, I thought you were going to send someone in—" A warm and composed voice echoed, interrupting Imogen's awkward staring. Mary turned her head instinctively to find a pair of blue eyes and floppy blond hair popping out of the entrance of the booth.

Matthew stared in confusion at Imogen, who looked as though she had just seen a ghost.

The blond girl opened her mouth to say something but nothing came out. It was only when the brunette standing in between them turned her head, that Matthew understood quite unmistakably the reason for Imogen's uneasiness. Only a few seconds passed before the brunette arched her perfectly-shaped eyebrow and asked:

"So, are we going to take this picture or not?" Mary let a challenging tone slip into her posh voice.

Matthew swallowed nervously and curved his lips into a reassuring smile to calm Imogen. The awkward stares went on for a few seconds, until Matthew found the words to politely say, "O—of course, come this way." He held the cloth door aside to let Mary through.

When they were both inside the green booth, without Imogen moping around, Matthew gestured for Mary to sit on the black stool under the spotlights. Both of them remained silent, carefully studying each other's movements. While Matthew quickly moved to check something in the display of the reflex camera placed on a tripod, Mary took a seat on the stool with her eyes never leaving his figure. _Was he going to play it like this? Pretending the night in the hotel had never happened? Well, _Mary thought, _two can play that game_. And she certainly wasn't going to be the one to give in first, or at least she hoped so. She sat completely still waiting for the directions of the amateur photographer, who still seemed to struggle with whatever had come up in the camera's display. When he silently hinted it was show time though, it proved to be way more difficult than Mary had expected. She tried to look straight into the camera lens, but whenever her eyes would set out to do that, they inevitably stopped halfway - where her chocolate brown eyes met the crystal blue of Matthew's. In the dim lights of the hotel bar the other night, she hadn't quite been aware of how blue his eyes were. They were like two powerful headlights staring deeply into her soul, and Mary found herself not being able to sustain his gaze.

After Mary's eyes had indulged into their little dance two or three times, Matthew looked up straight at her and suggested, "You should look into the camera."

That was exactly all it took for Mary to lose it completely. That small and frankly, clueless, sentence was enough to set Mary's wrath free. "You knew it, didn't you?!" She burst out, and this time the rage gave her the strength to look directly into his eyes.

"What? I—I"

"Don't play dumb with me!" She shouted and jumped onto her feet. "You knew exactly who I was, but you let me make a fool of myself anyway!" She exhaled a frustrated sigh and continued. "Oooh you must have enjoyed that so much, didn't you?" Her tone had become positively feverish.

"Mary I—I" Matthew tried to speak once again, leaving the camera to come closer to her. "Please, calm down!" He began again, quite worried, brushing the edge of her arm gently.

"Don't touch me!" Mary shouted again, and that seemed to draw the attention of people outside the booth because a few moments later, Imogen came in running. "Matthew, are you alright?" She squealed so pathetically that Mary wanted to puke.

"He's a big boy, Imogen. He can take care of himself." Mary said sharply, and with a last long look at Matthew, she left the booth.

From Town Square Anna had come running as soon as she had heard Mary shouting. When she had finally found Sybil and Tom, who were staring at the green booth in shock, she gave them a sympathetic look and said, "I guess I should have mentioned Matthew was doing the first shift in the Photo Booth."

* * *

A few hours into her first shift in the Lost and Found booth had been enough to successfully calm Mary down. She didn't know exactly what had come over her. When she realized that Matthew had known all along who she was, the unsettling feeling of being made fun of, of being used and exploited like she had been in the past few years, had brought on an unexpected panic attack which resulted in her episode of hysteria.

In the present moment, sitting behind the desk cataloguing items that had been found all over Town Square, Mary was replaying the scene of her breakdown over and over in her head. Beside the shame of having made a spectacle of herself, she just couldn't get over the look Matthew had given while it was happening. A look full of worry and kindness. It was painful just to think about it. That look had led Mary to think that maybe… maybe, Matthew hadn't had bad intentions at all. But how was it possible? She had made his life a living hell back in high school; she had exposed him to continued humiliation. How could he be giving her such sweet concern, after all that she had done to him?

"Knock – knock!" A kind voice sounded, breaking Mary's trail of thoughts. "Can I come in?" Anna asked with an encouraging smile.

"Of course," Mary said professionally. "Do you have to report something lost, Miss Smith?"

"Well," Anna said approaching the table, "I hear someone lost her temper before …" She was trying to remain serious.

"Very funny." Mary replied to her best friend's sarcasm.

"I'm here to help you close up," Anna informed her. "It's lunch time."

"Finally." Mary sighed, standing up. "I was beginning to wonder if you can die from boredom!" She exclaimed quite dramatically, tidying up the desk. "Where are we going to eat? You know that Sybil is going to propose that absurd vegan place again."

"Ehm … We're not going to lunch with Sybil." Anna replied hesitantly.

"Why? Is she standing us up again? I swear I'm gon—"

"No, no, no." Anna interrupted her. "We're not going with Sybil because there's the first class activity scheduled." Anna explained, but Mary was still looking puzzled and incredulous. "We have the inaugural lunch … with the whole class of 2002." She swallowed nervously right after the last sentence, fearing the worst.

"Oh." Mary was only able to sigh, knowing what was now awaiting her.

"Mary, I wanted to tell you but… you were so mad! I—I thought it was best to give you time to let off some steam before knowing about this."

"No, it's fine Anna … really." Mary reassured her with a low voice, looking around distractedly to collect her things. "I guess it had to come sooner or later …" She justified, and follower her friend silently out of the booth.

The lunch was held in a very nice restaurant in East Downton. It was called The Red Lion and it used to be a pub. Apparently John knew the owner pretty well and had made it possible to have the first reunion there. Mary had to admit that for your typical Yorkshire country restaurant, it wasn't so bad. The area reserved for the Alumni was in a pretty glass porch that was completely furnished in white, to give the room an even brighter feel. There was a long table where all of the food and drinks were placed and the guests could choose to eat while standing or sitting in the chairs scattered all over the room, just like an indoor picnic.

As Mary walked through the entrance, she could instantly feel the weird tickling sensation of having all eyes on her, and by Anna's facial expression, she could tell it wasn't all in her mind. Almost in synchrony they decided to head to the table to grab some food; the crab legs did look delicious after all. While Mary started to fill up her plate, Anna announced she was going for the drinks, leaving Mary to be startled all on her own when Matthew walked in. His eyes travelled around the room, and Mary wondered if he had looked at her for a moment or whether she had only imagined that he did.

"Here ya go!" Anna said cheerfully, handing her a glass. "Two fruity alcohol-free drinks for us!"

"Oh, darling!" Mary cried, taking a sip of the strawberry- flavoured drink. "I already told you there's no need to go teetotal for me. I can control myself now around people drinking, you know."

"It's no bother at all! And even so, you know how I feel about alcohol before six pm."

Mary chuckled at her good friend's poor excuses and took a look around the room. Her eyes inevitably travelled to the spot where she had previously seen Matthew. To her greatest surprise now, he was not alone; instead, he had been surrounded by a big group of their class's silliest flirts. But what bothered Mary the most was that it wasn't just the girls, there were also guys and teachers who were trying to get his attention. Mary could understand the girls' fascination with Matthew being the hottest guy in the room (_had she really done that comparison already?_), but what was so interesting about him to steal everyone's thunder?

"What is going on over there?" Mary asked Anna, blinking with disbelief. "Have we stepped through the looking glass?"

"Haven't you heard?" Anna asked in her thick Yorkshire accent. "He's joining one of the biggest law firms in London. Apparently he's the next big thing in the law and financial world; some very boring magazine said so."

"That explains all of the ass kissing." Mary muttered, sipping her drink again with a posh gesture.

"_That _and his handsome face, I presume." Anna teased, sure that she had struck a nerve with Mary.

"If you say so …" Mary sighed in denial, and as soon as she had finished breathing the words, John walked through the door, smiling in Anna's direction.

"Can you excuse me for a moment?" Anna begged, trying to hide her visible excitement. Mary chuckled and nodded, mouthing her consent.

Following Anna with her eyes, Mary realized that not everyone was doing their best to kiss Matthew's butt. There were other people chatting and laughing throughout the room. She considered initiating some kind of conversation with one of them, but luckily someone had decided to do her the honour first.

"Mary Crawley! Oh it has been such a long time!" A squeaky voice surprised her from behind. Mary turned to find one of her old posse from high school. She smiled politely trying to remember her name (after a few years all of the names had mixed up in her head). "It's Melanie Powell, don't you remember?"

"_Of course _I remember you Melanie, it's a pleasure to see you!" Mary lied, welcoming the ginger- haired girl's embrace.

"And you're drinking juice of course." Melanie pointed out in a nasty remark which unsettled Mary instantly.

"If you mean that I've given up drinking alcohol, then this much is true." Mary stated matter-of-factly, firmly determined to control her emotions this time.

"Oh darling, please don't take it as an offence. But one cannot simply help reading the papers, you know …"

_You call them papers, I call them stupid tabloids for idiotic people._

"I suppose you can't." Mary worded, holding her glass firmly.

"And I married Philip Whatford, you must've heard …" Melanie continued to Mary's discomfort "… He inherited his grandfather's factories, so you must know we are doing very well. I hope it does not interfere with our friendship, since you two have history."

Mary stood impossibly still for a few seconds. The laughter she was desperately trying to hold in had become almost painful. She didn't know whether to laugh first at Melanie's definition of _friendship_ or at her definition of _history_. Mary did remember hooking up with Philip at some point, he was a cricket player and that seemed to be the top at Downton Prep. She did not recall, however, having any kind of _history _with him. Not the kind that would make her feel envious of whoever he had married, at least. What Mary remembered quite distinctly, though, was that she had also hooked up with his best friend, and that of course had initiated a few problems within the best mates _and _the cricket team.

Just the memory of her ruthless behaviour and the sense of shame in knowing that all of her classmates still remembered her that way, made Mary feel incredibly uncomfortable. She no longer wanted to stand there, making pointless conversation with that silly woman as a reminder of her past. She was not that self-centred, mean and awful person anymore, or at least she hoped she wasn't. Someone as good and gentle as Anna loved her like a sister, so she must have changed for the better along the way. She had hit quite the bumpy road in the past few years, but she always had the support of both Anna and Sybil to keep her grounded.

Mary sighed loudly as Melanie kept speaking, trying to spot Anna and John in the crowd. There was no point in hoping otherwise: everyone was going to think of Mary either as the mean girl from high school or the posh drug addict from the tabloids. No one in that room was going to give her the benefit of the doubt. She sighed once again, hoping to make her discomfort clear, but when she thought that she was finally free, she got trapped again. And by none other than Timothy Turner, the illustrious best friend.

"Hello there Ma-ry!" He cornered her with creepy grin. He had grown to be quite stocky and his hair line was receding. As he got closer to her, Mary noticed the unnatural red of his cheeks and the disgusting smell of alcohol in his breath.

"Hi Tim." She greeted him back. "I'm sorry, but I must really go to the loo now. We'll catch up later." She offered, heading straight for the corridor where the toilet was placed.

"Oh come onnnn!" Tim insisted, grabbing her wrist. "We both know how much you enjoy fooling around by the toilets!"

Mary stopped to look at him quite in shock. "Tim, let me go. I mean it." She stated emphatically.

The man brushed his sausage fingers rudely on her pale face and whispered. "And from what they say in those magazines, you still are quite the party girl!" Those words seemed to amuse him. They did not, however, have the same effect on Mary.

She was motionless, paralysed at the edge of the corridor by his gross, rough hands. Mary realized after a quick look that they were not very visible from the big room, and she pondered the usefulness of screaming in such a loud setting.

"Is everything alright in here?" A low, smooth voice startled them both. Mary wondered whether such voice sounded so appealing to her because of the situation, or was it actually that soothing. She lifted her gaze, determined to thank her timely saviour with her eyes. The irony of fate wanted Mary's eyes to meet Matthew's shiny blue ones, of all people.

"Of course mate, why wouldn't it be?" Tim muttered, releasing Mary's wrist and standing more still.

"Then you wouldn't mind if I have a word alone with Mary, would you?" Matthew said, taking Mary completely by surprise. He looked at her with complicity which made Mary realize it was just a ruse to get rid of Tim.

"Yeah …" She muttered "You don't mind, do you?"

Timothy, who was standing in between Matthew and Mary, was confused for a couple of minutes, but when a waiter came in with a tray full of new drinks, his interest in Mary quickly vanished. He simply shrugged and followed the waiter like a lost puppy, without even saying a word.

Mary heard herself releasing out a deep sigh, relieved that the situation had turned out this way. She raised her gaze again, finding Matthew's eyes still looking earnestly at her. "Thank you," she whispered breathlessly, still shocked by the mystery of his kindness. Matthew didn't answer, but smiled thoughtfully before turning his head to feel most of the stares upon them. For better or worse, they were clearly considered the two most fascinating people in the room, and their classmates were instantly intrigued by their interaction.

"Do you wanna go and get some fresh air?" Matthew said eyeing the terrace, implying that people's fascination with them was annoying him just as it was annoying her.

Mary bit her lip nervously, torn by the embarrassment of staying in the room and being stared at, and the embarrassment of being alone with Matthew after the heated morning. She looked up at his expectant face, then at the noisy crowd. She didn't think about it twice, and realized she was nodding when she saw his satisfied grin.

"This way." He said, opening the glass door and letting her pass first, like a true gentleman. Mary walked slowly to the edge of the terrace, breathing in the fresh air at once, allowing the landscapes of country Yorkshire to calm her senses. Matthew reached her shortly after, having closed the door behind him. At first he did not say anything, realizing that she still hadn't noticed his presence. Then when she simply gave a polite smile, he buried his hands in his pockets and smiled nervously in return.

The awkward silence that followed made Mary wonder if maybe it would've been better to endure the crowd's staring. As she pondered it now, she couldn't quite comprehend why she had agreed to go out there with him, of all people. Was it _gratitude? Guilt? Fascination?_ From the rate of her heart beat and the irregularity of his breathing, Mary realized it was pointless to overanalyse the situation just now. What she had to do was try to find a harmless topic of conversation, something to make this scene less awkward.

"You know," He began shyly, beating her timing once again, "you made fun of me all throughout high school." Mary turned to see him standing beside the huge posters of the Class of 2002 through the years. Feeling guilty already, Mary came closer. "But you never noticed that I was actually losing weight gradually." He finished chuckling, as he pointed at his pictures throughout the years. Mary recognized his chubby figure of the first years, but when his long finger reached the last two years she noticed he was clearly thinner, not as thin and fit as he was now, but you could tell the difference _if you really paid attention._

"Matthew, I'm really sorry." She blurted out, startled by the fact that her natural self-confidence had seemed to fade in this confrontation.

"It's fine Mary, really … It's been ten years! You can hardly hold a grudge for that long!" He replied with a kind smile. Mary was glad he thought of it that way, but she certainly knew people who could hold a grudge for even longer.

"You seem the only one to be thinking that … I wouldn't be surprised if they come after me with clubs and pitchforks." She declared dramatically, causing Matthew's genuine laugh. "I'm serious," she reaffirmed, finding it impossible not to chuckle in return. "Everyone seems to only want me to remember the awful things I've done, point out my recent screw-ups, and go on about their _so-called successes_. No one has really bothered to ask me how _I_ am doing …"

"How are _you _doing?" Matthew echoed, trying to lighten the mood.

"_Very funny,_" Mary retorted poshly, not even bothering to hide her smile.

"Well Mary, I guess this is what these school reunions are all about … Gatherings for people who are bored with their lives and simply cannot _move on from their past_."

Mary stopped for a moment and smiled at the realization that he had used the same definition that she had. "Then why are you attending?" Her question seemed natural. Mary looked right at him and noticed the question had taken him aback. "I mean," she began to explain herself, "I'm here because my therapist thought it was the best way to test my social skills again …" She paused, noticing the look in his eyes. "Oh please, do not try to look baffled. I know _everybody_ has read about my boyfriend dead from an overdose in my bed and me, about to follow him shortly…"

"What saved you?" Matthew asked spontaneously, interrupting her.

Mary looked in his eyes for a moment, surprised at being asked such a personal question. "Anna." She replied simply, hoping her tone conveyed all of the gratitude that she felt. Matthew seemed shaken up. He was much more sensitive than Mary had ever imagined. "You haven't answered my question." She took advantage of his silence.

"What question?"

"What are _you_ doing here?" She smiled triumphantly. "Are you bored with your life and simply cannot move on from your past?" She asked with a spirit of light mockery.

Matthew grinned, but his discomfort was evident. "No, I—I … I had to come here to visit my mother, and it simply seemed rude not to attend." He explained not sounding at all convincing, but Mary decided not to push him further.

"By the way," She changed the subject. "I wasn't apologizing about _Chubby C_," she teased. "I was actually apologizing about this morning. Really, I have no idea what came over me."

"It's perfectly alright, really—"

"Please Matthew, stop saying it is alright! You only make me feel worse about myself."

"No, but I mean it …" Matthew muttered, determined to explain himself. "I wanted to apologize as well. About this morning and the other night at the hotel. It's true, I did recognize you, but Mary … you have to believe me – I had no idea that you were going to suggest—" Just the memory of it was enough to make him blush from cheek to ears.

"Let's just agree to put it all behind us." Mary suggested, realizing it was pointless to dwell any more on it. Matthew agreed and nodded. Mary continued, "Or better … you won't bring up again my … _indecent proposals,_ and I won't tell everyone that you tried to pick me up at a bar…"

"But I wasn't trying to p—"

"Ah – ah!" Mary hushed him. "Do we have a deal?" She offered solemnly, extending her hand to him.

Matthew sighed but gave in. As he shook her pale hand, petite in comparison to his, they both felt the electricity generated by their connecting. Neither of them could control their cheeks from blushing. After a while, Matthew looked away first, but only because his attention seemed to be drawn elsewhere.

"Ehm … Mary?"

"Huh?" She answered, noticing he still hadn't released her hand.

"I don't mean to spook you, but there's a man who has been staring at you for a while." Matthew pointed at someone down the terrace, and Mary let go of his hand to get a better look. She craned her neck and blinked furiously at the sight of the man at the edge of the stairs.

"Carson," Mary whispered to Matthew's confusion. "Carson!" She called out to the man with the bowler hat. The man looked up and smiled broadly, waving his free arm as Mary smiled excitedly in return. "You don't mind if I go say hi, do you?" She said turning to Matthew. "He's an old friend."

"O—of course not!" Matthew muttered and watched as Mary ran down the stairs to hug the severe-looking man affectionately.

"Lady Mary!" His low voice exclaimed, deeply moved. "You have no idea how happy you've made this old man!"

Mary hugged him tightly and noticed the tears of joy in his eyes when she let him go. "Oh Carson, I've missed you so much!"

"Will we have the pleasure to see you back at the house anytime soon?" He asked quite naively.

Mary frowned, hating to upset this sweet man in any way. "Carson you know I can't go back there, you know I don't want to …"

"We all miss you and Lady Sybil, and I know _he _misses you too." Mary looked at Carson in a way that suggested that topic was much too painful to discuss, so not worth ruining their precious moment. He changed the topic then, and went on about how he had been following her story and how proud he was to see her doing so well. "So," he continued, changing his tone, "should I know who that young man over there is?" He asked with a sweet smile.

Mary blushed violently and noticed how Matthew was still keeping an eye on her. "No, no, no, Carson – It's not what you think!" She denied instinctively. "He is – his name is Matthew Crawley."

"Oh." Carson sighed, looking at him carefully. "Is he a relation of yours? Should I know him? I'm sorry but the name does not ring a bell."

"No relation," Mary specified, "but you do know him. Maybe his name doesn't sound familiar because it's not what I used to call him …" She hinted and watched in amusement as Carson's eyes went from Matthew to her and then blinked at the realization.

"He's not so chubby anymore." Carson pointed out in disbelief.

"He is not." Mary sighed, admiring Matthew's handsome features from afar.

"You know, I can still remember his mother parading furiously to the front door of the Abbey. I remember trying to convince her that his mother coming to his rescue would have made your bullying even worse, but she didn't listen." Mary could remember very vividly now how Carson had been absolutely right on that occasion. "What I didn't know of course," the old man continued, "was that there was a good reason for the woman's excessive care for her son." Mary didn't say anything, but her expression made it clear that she had no idea of what Carson was talking about. "Doctor Crawley had been diagnosed with a brain tumour," he explained as Mary's mouth hung open in shock. "The family kept it to themselves for a couple of years, but then Doctor Crawley died the summer after your graduation."

Mary swallowed nervously and felt her throat closing up. Suddenly the pictures that Matthew had shown her earlier hit her. _You never noticed that I was actually losing weight gradually. _The words echoed in her head and the images of Matthew's chubby cheeks losing their roundness from one picture to the other flashed before her eyes. There was something else she had noticed, a tiny little detail she hadn't thought was important. Just as his face got thinner, his smile appeared more posed and less natural.

"I had no idea …" Mary muttered breathlessly. "Carson, you have to know that I—I had no idea, if I did I wouldn't have—"

"Please milady, you don't have to justify yourself. You couldn't have known; nobody did. Don't burden yourself with punishment that you don't deserve." Carson recommended, brushing her arm gently with his hand. Mary looked up at him and hoped with all of her heart that she'd be able to believe him.


	3. The Naked Torso Complication

**A/N:**_ Well here I am with the new chapter, you guys! I'm really surprised and humbled by the huge response this story is getting! Writing is a nice relief from the present tragedy of canon Downton, and it makes me happy that you are enjoying this silly thing of mine! I truly loved your reviews and I thank everyone who has complimented my writing, it truly means a lot!  
Regarding does of you who asked me direct questions (like 'when's the next chapter coming out' and so on), if you are reviewing as a guest I can't answer to you, but if you don't want to sign in , i'd be happy to answer your questions on tumblr (_**_mocking-ginger_**_).  
Onto more technical matters, you'll see that I've gone back and gave a name to each chapter. At first I thought this was going to be a short fic with about 4-5 chapters, that is why I had called them "act". But now since it will be about 8-10 chapters long, it seems weird to called them acts._

_Now thanks to my lovely beta _**_jmu _**_the chapter is proofread! I hope you will enjoy it all the same. Don't forget to let me know what you think!_

**Chapter Three: The Naked Torso Complication**

There seemed to be no peace for Mary back in Downton Village. Just after the whole inaugural lunch fiasco, Sybil and Tom had come to pick her up and they had all gone back to Violet's place to find none other than Edith, the Crawley middle sister. Mary wasn't completely ungrateful towards her; she was able to recognize Edith's efforts to rekindle their sisterly relationship. The only problem was that, no matter how much she tried, Edith couldn't help being spiteful and judgemental. It was simply something inherent in her personality. Even though she was sworn to secrecy regarding Mary's and Sybil's presence in Downton, she couldn't stop going on and on for the whole evening about their parents and her weekends with them. As much as she had tried to play mediator, Sybil was also glad when the blonde sister had left that evening.

The next morning Mary apparently didn't have any shifts to work at the Village Fair, so the two sisters had decided to take it easy. They were going to meet Anna for an early lunch at twelve o' clock, so Mary was finally going to have her deserved twelve hours of sleep. Around eleven o'clock the sisters were fully dressed and were applying their makeup in the same bathroom, as their tradition demanded.

"I can't believe Granny still insists I need to eat more," Sybil chuckled as Mary was busy applying her volumizing mascara. She looked up for a moment and noticed her younger sister had raised her t-shirt to contemplate her bare stomach in the full-body mirror. "I mean … the damn pregnancy is making me fatter already!" Sybil whined, sighing childishly in front of the looking glass.

"Darling, only you are seeing extra fat. I can assure you – you look as hot and skinny as ever." Mary stated, once done with her captivating lashes.

"Tom said the same thing yesterday…" Sybil confessed with a shy smile, still torn between obsessing over her reflection and paying attention to Mary.

"See? Finally something Tom and I agree on …" she teased. "But enough about you, how do _I _look?" Mary swirled in her fluttering dress, demanding attention.

"It's – _ohmygod!_" Sybil muttered, bringing her hands to her mouth, her face turning greenish.

"_That bad_?!" Mary replied, disappointed and annoyed.

"No, idiot! Move!" Sybil ordered as she dived to the toilet. Mary moved just as quickly to help her get into a more comfortable position (assuming that there _is_ a way to puke comfortably), also kneeling down to keep Sybil's hair away from her face. When it seemed she was finally done, Mary ran to collect some toilet paper to clean her mouth, and had to suffer another pregnancy rant.

"Oh please, _please Mary! _Next time you shag someone, use protection!" Sybil cried pitifully, making the most absurd faces while wiping the vomit from her mouth.

"You don't need to tell me that, darling." Mary chuckled, feeling a little bad for her sister.

"I'm serious!" Sybil insisted. "Because it's when you are _so horny_ you don't even care, that's when you get _knocked up_!" She finally stood up and got rid of the filthy toilet paper.

"I _sooo_ didn't need to hear that!" Mary complained, but just as she finished her sentence she caught the look of horror on her sister's face.

"_I _so didn't,either_._" Mary heard, and when she turned her head she found Edith standing at the bathroom's door.

* * *

Mary spotted Anna sitting alone at the table of the cute little bistro they had chosen to have lunch at. The idea had been Anna's, but Mary wasn't complaining. The restaurant was small and simple, but it had class, and despite what the tabloids might say about her, Mary preferred it to all of those pretentious hip places in the big city. And to top it all, apparently the food was to die for, or at least Anna said so. The chef and owner was Alfred Nugent (that's why the place was called _Alfie's_) and Anna knew him from high school. They had been in contact even after graduation, and just like everyone else who had gotten to know Anna, Alfie adored her and thought she was the best.

"That … _cow!_" Sybil yelled, drawing a little too much attention as they took a seat beside their blonde friend.

"Darling, we've been over this …" Mary tried to calm her, "I'm sure she meant well."

"Erm... _Hello?_! Can someone explain to me what is going on?" Anna rightfully claimed some attention.

"She's talking about Edith." Mary interjected, determined not to let her little sister make a scene in the lovely restaurant. Mary was sure that the town was already filled with enough Crawley craze for a week, at least, after Mary's performance on the previous day.

"OK so … Sybil is insulting Edith and _you _are defending her?" Anna cried in disbelief. "Did you make a wish on a fortune cookie and switched bodies?!"

"Edith walked in on Sybil throwing up this morning," Mary explained. "She put two and two together and basically made Sybil tell Granny."

"_Oh._" Anna gulped and started to sip her orange juice.

"What I'm trying to tell her is that she would've told Granny eventually, so there's no point in staying mad at Edith."

"Sybil honey, Mary is right … for once she's saying something sensible!" Anna joked, receiving a grin in reply from Mary.

"What Mary didn't tell you," Sybil clinched exasperated, "is that Granny now wants Tom over for dinner to _'talk'. _"

"Well, I'm sure Mary will be there to support you," Anna offered. "You don't need to panic, sweetheart."

" … And I forgot to mention Granny explicitly said that my _personal defender_ is not invited."

"Ouch." Anna commented, brushing Sybil's hand affectionately. "Have you told Tom yet?"

"He is too excited about the Cricket match, I don't want to spoil it for him."

"The _Cricket match_?" Mary intervened, baffled by this new piece of information.

"Yep." Anna nodded, looking nonchalantly at her menu. "It starts at two, that is why we're having an early lunch," she explained.

Mary frowned. "Seriously, Anna? You are doing _that _again?" She complained, "You promised you were going to warn me in advance about all of the other bloody class activities!"

"I'm not trying to keep things from you, sweetie." Anna replied smiling at Mary's grumpy face. "The match is not a class activity; you're not expected to attend if you don't want to. But I thought it might be nice to see the guys play. It's the teachers vs. alumni game."

"Yes!" Sybil cried excited. "And the alumni were short of one player, so they asked Tom to join them!"

"C'mon, Mary!" Anna urged her, "It won't be just our classmates on the stands. There will be students, teachers and people from the village. And you'll have to talk to only us, promise!"

Mary exhaled and rolled her eyes dramatically, the way their friends knew she did before giving in. She missed those two little devils too much to deny them, and in the end it didn't seem like such a big hassle. She had never understood a thing about Cricket, but as far as any sports go, Mary loved to watch guys play them. And while the girls' conversation shifted to Cricket players and their weird and posh uniforms, she was reminded about a certain _bum_ who would definitely look _enticing _in those ridiculous white pants.

Mary still had mixed feelings about the mystery that was Matthew Crawley. It made her feel really on edge that she found herself spending half of her time wondering about the fat, clumsy kid that she had tortured all throughout high school. But the point was that Matthew was no longer a fat kid; he was a _gorgeous_, successful man and as much as Mary would love to deny it, she felt a great deal of attraction to him. The strangest thing to Mary, however, was that instead of plotting some great revenge against her, Matthew was being _awfully _nice to her. Not Mature Adult nice, but proper _Knight in Shining Armour _nice_. _It was extremely confusing. Confusing and suspicious. Mary had been willing to accept the fact that they had matured and he genuinely didn't care about the past anymore. He had seemed pretty sincere when he had saved her from a drunken ex at the inaugural lunch on the day before. But at the same time, Mary suspected that there was something Matthew wasn't telling her. That was why when she had found out that she had been torturing him while he was dealing with his father dying, Mary was absolutely sure that something was up. Yes, that's right. Matthew definitely had some convoluted plan in mind to make her pay for past behaviour. Some plan which included being … _charming _and _chivalrous._ Mary still wasn't sure about that part yet. The only thing she knew for sure was that she had to stay away from Matthew. The last thing she wanted was to end up just like her idiotic classmates, drooling over him shamelessly.

"Alright," Mary blurted out, "but you have to tell me here and now about all of the other crazy activities. No more surprises!"

"Of course!" Anna cried joyfully and clarified, "There's a set of outdoor games at Grantham Park tomorrow morning," Mary couldn't stop her eyes from rolling, "then there's the dance on Saturday night and the closing brunch on Sunday. That should be all."

After a delicious meal and a pleasant chat, the three girls thanked Alfred after paying their check and bid him a good day. On the way to the school, Sybil made them stop by the candy shop. She wanted to buy Tom's favourite sweets to make up for the ominous dinner awaiting him. Anna and Mary had an entirely different idea about how Sybil would convince him.

When they finally reached the school, and more specifically, the Cricket field, the girls started to climb the stands, wanting to get as far away as possible from some old acquaintances. On the way up, though, they noticed a girl with ginger hair and fierce freckles on her nose waving enthusiastically at them. Before Mary could figure out who she was, she heard Anna gasp in surprise before yelling:

"Gwen! Oh sweetie, how long!" Anna welcomed Gwen in a tight embrace. The redhead greeted both Mary and Sybil with the same enthusiasm, and right away invited the three of them to sit with her. Gwen had been one of Anna's best friends all throughout high school, and Mary had always felt threatened by that. But during their university years, Mary had the opportunity to know Gwen a little better and, now, her face was one of the few that Mary was actually glad to see.

"I didn't know that Tom could play Cricket!" Gwen cried excitedly after Tom had caught the ball and everyone had cheered for him.

"I believe he didn't either!" Sybil chuckled to Anna's and Gwen's shocked expressions. "He was practicing just this morning with Matthew Crawley and—"

"_What?!_" Mary blurted out almost automatically.

"Yep, Matthew Crawley." Sybil confirmed. "He's the one who convinced Tom to join the team."

"So he's trying to befriend Tom now?" Mary asked annoyed, furiously staring at Matthew in the distance.

"What's wrong with that?" asked Anna naively. "I thought you and him had made up the other day."

Sybil chuckled, "They had, but now Mary has changed her mind. She's convinced Matthew has some kind of a plan."

Anna gave Mary _'the look',_ which prompted Mary's need to justify herself. "I'm serious! Something is up with him! Nobody is _that_ nice! I bet it is all a façade… I bet that he immensely enjoys getting his ass kissed!" Mary declared snobbishly, looking down on her silly classmates cheering Matthew on.

"That is bullshit." Anna cursed uncharacteristically, causing all the girls to swivel to her. "He is the same old Matthew, the sweetest guy ever."

"_Excuse me?_" Mary resented, "How would you know that?"

"Because we were lab partners for three years in a row back in the day. I can assure you he hasn't changed one bit. He hasn't lost any brain cells alongside his body fat, unlike Imogen …" Anna commented, as they all eyed the fake blonde making a complete fool of herself.

Mary fell silent once again. It was hard to be constantly reminded of how she didn't know anything about Anna in high school. The reason why Anna had chosen a screw-up like her as her best friend was still a mystery to Mary. Having to face her past self was becoming more challenging day by day, and Mary was beginning to understand the reasons behind Doctor Clarkson's decision. If she were to make it to the end of the week unscathed, she would be totally prepared to cope with the Real World again.

"C'mon," Sybil urged Mary with a friendly smack on her shoulder, "Let's go collect Tom!"

"Um, why, is it over?" Mary asked, looking at all of the people around her standing up. Sybil busted out laughing as Anna nodded to her friend. "Oh, right." Mary muttered, not surprised by the fact that she still didn't understand Cricket at all. "Who won, then?" she asked curiously.

"The alumni," Anna announced with a smile. "That is why I'd better go comfort my John," she joked, "but when you see Tom, tell him nice game!"

The three girls said goodbye to Gwen and headed in opposite directions. Mary mindlessly followed Sybil, who apparently did know where to go. The strange thing was that as the crowd was disappearing quickly from the tall stands, so were the players from the field. Where Sybil intended to go was still a mystery to Mary, until the youngest Crawley sister completely surprised her by firmly pushing open the solid door of the boys' locker room.

"Sybil, _what the hell_?" Mary exclaimed, as her sister stepped nonchalantly into the smelly room, soaked with steam from the running showers.

"Oh please, Mary, don't be such a prude!" Sybil retorted to Mary's astonishment. "You see male models changing in front of you all of the time! I don't see how this is any different!"

"It is _completely _different!" Mary complained. "I've known these guys since we were kids!"

"They won't mind!" Sybil shot back, taking Mary's hand to lead her. "Come on, let's find Tom!"

So Mary found herself passing by the clammy benches and odorous lockers while some of the guys who were changing into their regular clothes yelled out to them lewdly, '_Looking good!' _As she and Sybil were about to reach their destination – the area outside of the showers – Mary came face to face with what she had feared the most. Right in front of her, a few yards away, Matthew had just come out from the showers. He had a white towel wrapped around his hips (thank_ God!_) and was completely oblivious to how utterly alluring he was as he passed his fingers through his wet locks. Mary swallowed hard and realized she simply couldn't take her eyes off of that perfectly sculpted torso. But what stirred Mary the most were the few fuzzy strands of hair on his chest and peeking out from his towel. She wanted to disappear, to wash away with a cold shower the heat that coloured her cheeks a little too much. She wanted to rid her mind of the steamy little fantasies she was conjuring. But now, thanks to Sybil, she was never going to be able to forget the delicious sight of Matthew's naked upper body.

"Sybil, I hate you!" Mary whined while they were still too far from him to be overheard.

"Why? What have I done?" she complained, but then realized who her older sister was staring at. "Oh." She simply worded.

"He. Has. _Abs!_" Mary muttered in amazement, biting her nails nervously.

Sybil couldn't help letting out a chuckle. "Honey, I took Anatomy. I can assure you that everyone has abs!" she joked.

Mary punched Sybil on her arm. "_You know what I mean!_"

"Well." Sybil nodded. "I have to admit, he does look like some kind of a Scandinavian god," she pointed out.

"Stop it!" Mary immediately muted her, "I don't want to think about him like that!"

"Oh honey, if you think about him like _that,_ it'll only be because _you_ want to!" Sybil declared through her sister's whining. "Oh, look! Tom just came out, let's go!" She said, and quickly moved towards her boyfriend who had started to chat amiably with the subject of Mary's fantasies.

"Sybb!" The Irish lad cried, as she approached him.

"Hi honey!" She responded affectionately, stealing a kiss from his lips. "Hello Matthew," she then said in greeting to the other gentleman.

"Good morning Sybil" Matthew replied politely with a charming smile.

"Sweetheart, you came into the boys' locker room all by yourself?" Tom asked, quite amused.

"Of course not!" she called him out, "Mary is—" but when Sybil turned to her right, Mary wasn't there. "She is hiding somewhere..." she said in a harsh tone, and caught a hint of pure amusement and curiosity in Matthew's blue eyes.

"Is she alright?" Tom asked worried, as Sybil shook her head.

"Sweetheart, I can see your ridiculously expensive shoes coming out from behind the lockers! Come here already!" Sybil urged Mary, who came out of hiding all red and flustered.

"Hi Tom, nice game." Mary muttered, determined to stare at her own feet all throughout their exchange.

Tom chuckled a hello back before Matthew's deliciously rich and low voice recited, "Hello Mary."

Despite her great embarrassment, Mary couldn't help but want to match that enticing voice with Matthew's handsome face. She looked up again, and his impossibly blue eyes met hers instantly, making her legs feel like jelly. "Hi" she muttered shyly, and was once again amazed by his impeccable manners. Surely, with such a gentle smile and glistering, intelligent eyes, anyone would be convinced of the pureness of Matthew's heart. But Mary knew better than that. She knew it couldn't be real, because she jolly well didn't deserve it. The way he was looking at her didn't make any sense, but perhaps what was far more alarming was the effect he was having on her. He could have stopped right then with his revenge plan and felt fully satisfied... because his _looking like that_ and looking at Mary _that way_ was cruel enough punishment for her. If what she desired was to _not_ fall into Matthew's trap, Mary had to admit to herself that she was doing a very poor job. She didn't know if it was her guilt or his good looks, but she realized that she had come to think about him 24/7. It was not at all like her and certainly not healthy. She had to get out of there and start growing some balls. She had to get out of there and start ignoring him, even if he seemed to be _everywhere_. But when, in the middle of their group conversation, Matthew had charmingly asked if she was going to attend the next day's games, Mary couldn't stop herself from answering quite eagerly.

"Of course, I'll be there." The happy smile she received in return certainly wasn't going to help her resolve to stay away from Matthew and forget all about him.

* * *

The next morning Mary was woken up by Sybil way earlier than necessary. It was her little sister's revenge for the awkward dinner that she and Tom had to endure the night before with Granny. But the real reason Sybil couldn't wait to wake Mary up was, because they hadn't had dinner together, Sybil still hadn't had the chance to tease her about the previous day's episode in the locker room. Sybil knew pretty well that a romance between her sister and Matthew was highly unlikely, but the thought of Mary having a little crush on Chubby Crawley was just too good to ignore. It was a teasing gold mine.

So if it wasn't already bad enough that she had had steamy dreams involving his naked torso all night, Mary had to wake up to a hyperactive Sybil, jumping on her bed and making the silliest jokes about Matthew. _Certainly Sybil was ready to become a parent, _Mary thought as she watched her sister behaving like a five-year old.

"Mary and Matthew sitting in a tree, S-H-A-G-G—"

"_Sybil_!" Mary cried in outrage as she got out of the shower. As usual Mary had tried to ignore her, and Sybil had increased her level of nuisance for the sake of her own amusement.

Luckily it was already late and Sybil had to return to her room to get dressed as well. Mary almost tore apart her entire luggage to find something that would suit such an occasion. If she was going to be thrown in the mud by a country games enthusiast, she surely wasn't going to wear one of her designer dresses. But since she was a fashion designer herself, finding something on the inexpensive side was a difficult mission. In the end she opted for a pair of denim shorts and a white loose tank top with lace borders. Since Mary had brought noting but sandals and heels, she borrowed sneakers from Sybil. She completed her look by collecting her long chocolate locks into a high ponytail. It was a natural look which her fellow classmates surely would have never seen splashed onto the front pages of tabloids.

When they arrived in Grantham Park (a pretty town park which used to belong to her family's estate), Mary was immensely glad to see that she and Sybil weren't the only ones who came late. As other classmates of hers continued arriving, Mary sighed in relief when she spotted Anna and Gwen in the crowd. Not far from them, John and a couple of Mary's old teachers were at a table reviewing the rules for the games. Mary went to greet John properly and then quickly reached her friends, sensing that the bloody charade was about to begin.

"Good morning, Class of 2002!" John began cheerfully, "I'm the new Principal of Downton Prep, John Bates, and I'm about to explain the rules for the series of games we are going to play today." Mary sighed quite loudly, making both Anna and Gwen laugh. But no one was ever going to remove the grin on Anna's face as she gazed at John in adoration. "The true purpose of these silly games we are going to play," John continued, "is to remind ourselves of those wonderful feelings of team work and school spirit which accompanied your high school years and which should always be an inspiration for our everyday life. We are going to divide you into pairs and whoever scores the most points will win free tickets to a ride in the Village Fair." Mary honestly didn't give a damn about the amazing prize (_yeah, right); _but as soon as she had heard the word _pairs_, she turned her head towards Anna and was glad that her blond friend had done the same. Sadly, Mary didn't like what John had to say next. "Since we've received multiple requests of people wanting to pair up with the same person, we've decided to do it the old-fashioned way: in alphabetical order."

Mary grunted and gave a quick look around to try to remember peoples' last names, and was glad to find Gwen smiling broadly at her. _Of course_! Gwen's last name was Dawson, so there was a good chance she was going to be paired with her. _Thank God!_ But as she mentally thanked the Lord, someone who was panting stepped into the silent circle.

"I apologize for the delay, everyone!" The late comer worded in a smooth voice. Mary recognized the voice's owner although it took her a while to put two and two together. She was still looking at Gwen quite nervously in fact, when after having quickly explained the rules again, John started to list the pairs.

" … Barrow Thomas and Brown Catherine; Clarke Jacob and Cooper Cassandra; Crawley Mary and Crawley Matthew …"

Well, if _Fate _had a mouth, it was surely grinning at that moment. Mary didn't even bother formulating diverse theories about this latest chapter to her Awkward Encounters With Matthew. There was hardly anything twisted and calculated about alphabetical order. She glanced quickly at a very amused Anna and when all of the pairs had been named, Mary paraded elegantly towards her cruel fate.

He was wearing a white t-shirt, as well, and a pair of blue trainer shorts which revealed his muscular calves, as well as just a hint of his thighs above the knees. Mary swallowed hard while she was still pretty far away, and greeted Matthew politely when she finally reached him.

"Well, apparently we even came in uniform!" Matthew joked, observing their equally white upper clothes and blue shorts. Mary didn't know how to respond, and Matthew managed to save her any humiliation. "You look very nice," he took Mary aback with the compliment. "Not just the clothes but – I mean, you look good even without so much makeup on," he sputtered, making Mary wonder whether he was actually a bit shy about it or was that just her misimpression.

"Thanks," she replied quickly. "You look nice too, I like – Erm … I like your t-shirt." She blurted out, cursing herself for how utterly stupid she had sounded.

"So, are you excited about the games?" Matthew asked, apparently in the mood for a conversation.

"I think excited is too strong a word. Let's just say I've made my peace with it." Mary muttered and Matthew laughed. _Good_, Mary thought. At least he thought she was funny. Maybe she wasn't going to make a fool of herself again. As John announced that the first game was the Three-Legged Race, Matthew speedily set off to collect their equipment and Mary looked around to see who Anna had been paired with. It was a self-centered hick who Mary remembered as being on the school's Cricket team, and who she fortunately had had the sense to_ not_ sleep with. Realizing with a start that Anna had it worse than she did, Mary decided to just be thankful and play nice.

"So," Matthew called out once he was back, "do you want to find out what it's like to be joined with me?"

"_Excuse me_?" Mary blinked nervously in disbelief. She couldn't quite match his disrespectful wording with the cheerfulness of his expression. When met in reply with an equally puzzled expression, however, Mary noticed that Matthew was holding a rope and realized what he actually had meant. "Oh the race, right …" She blushed violently about her stupidity and averted her eyes out of humiliation.

"I think we should practice before the race." He suggested, not wishing to make her feel uncomfortable any longer. Mary nodded and aligned her left leg to his right one, feeling a chill where their bare skin touched. Matthew tied a knot around their two pale legs, gazing at his huge foot beside hers, so elegant and slender. Practicing was actually a good idea, since it took a while to find a balance with their completely different weights. Mary was surprised and amused by Matthew's competitiveness. She had never seen him play any sports in high school, so it was actually kind of nice to watch him taking such a pleasure in it. After a very entertaining pep talk, which made Mary laugh out loud, they were ready for the first game.

Mary turned her head to smile broadly at her partner in crime. When John, who was standing on the sidelines, shot the blank ammunition both Mary and Matthew looked in front of them and started running as they had rehearsed. Not everyone had managed to reach a balance, so Matthew and Mary easily found themselves at the head of the race. But when it seemed they had won already, Mary lost her balance and nearly fell face-first to the ground. Thomas Barrow and his partner had momentarily outmatched them when suddenly Matthew firmly grabbed Mary's hand and pulled her back to a balance. Together they sped up the pace and crossed the finish line victorious.

As the day went on, Mary found herself forgetting about her doubts and suspicions. With Matthew's company and complicity Mary realized, contrary to her expectations, that she was having the most terrific fun. Who would have thought? Lady Mary Crawley enjoying herself with her muddy shoes and her matted hair.

They weren't brilliant at every game like they had been with the first one. When they played Egg Toss, for instance, Mary threw the egg so high that it landed on Matthew's chest, staining his t-shirt with slimy broken egg. By the end of that sunny morning, there were only two games left to play. The penultimate was Tug of War, which they still played in pairs, going up against another couple selected at random. Mary chuckled when Anna came to tell her that they were being pit against each other. The two girls joked and then wished each other luck with their confrontation. Anna's dumbass of a partner, however, had no intention of being so sporting.

As soon as they were told they could start, the Dumbass had started to pull with all of the strength he possessed, taking Anna by surprise as well as their 2 adversaries. While Anna shouted at him, reminding him that it was just a silly game, Mary was doing her best not to let her feet step over the paper line on the grass. She felt Matthew promptly pull the rope strongly to help her, but noticed that he wasn't giving 100%. He was concentrating on maintaining their position without pulling too much and when he felt Anna's partner loosen their grasp from fatigue, Matthew seized the moment and pulled with all of his strength. Having acquired some ground, Mary was finally able to help him, starting to pull as well. When their competition finally let the rope go, the tension was so high that Matthew and Mary both fell backwards, landing in the mud. Or to be more precise, _Matthew _landed in the mud, whereas Mary had landed on top of him. When she opened her eyes, she told herself not to blush too much since his face was just a few inches away from hers. He was staring at her, and his boyish grin told Mary that he was really enjoying himself as much as she was.

"You'll have to throw this t-shirt away now," she whispered.

"That's too bad," he chuckled. "I thought you liked it," he joked, recalling her awkward statement from earlier.

_I like you better with your t-shirt off_, Mary wanted to say, but decided to help him up instead. They tried to remove the mud from their clothes and went to tell one of the teachers the result of their match. There was only one game left, and it was meant to be a surprise. Matthew and Mary headed to the table of the refreshments and hung out quite relaxed, under Anna's attentive gaze. Before Mary could go up to her and ask what the game was all about, John gathered everyone again to explain the last game. Each couple was going to be called separately and had to answer questions about each other. Mary was quite nervous, but didn't let anyone wait when her name was called.

"Alright … Matthew, Mary" John called as they both nodded. "You'll have one minute each to list three things which was said about your partner in the high school yearbook. Matthew, you first."

As the countdown started, Matthew smiled at Mary briefly and then stared into the nothingness, his mind seemingly miles away. "Mmm let's see … Mary was the Flower Princess in the Spring Parade …"

"Correct," John confirmed.

" … Winner of the debate competition," another nod from John and his folder, "and starred as Lady Macbeth in the school play."

"Very good!" John cheered. "Three out of three!"

Matthew sighed in relief and turned with a smile to Mary, but her expression wasn't exactly what he was expecting. Mary looked at him in shock. At that moment she didn't give a damn that they were winning. She just couldn't believe that Matthew remembered so many details about her. She couldn't do the same for him. The only thing she remembered was the nickname she had given him, and all sorts of tasteless pranks she had pulled on him. She didn't know a single thing about him. When John called her name, Mary's mind went blank. She couldn't speak; she didn't have anything to say. "I'm sorry I—" she muttered, and the memory of Matthew's dad and the yearbook pictures hit her again. When her time was up and John announced her lame score, Mary stammered an apology and ran away. No one in the crowd seemed to notice her distress, as John focused on the next contenders.

Matthew managed to make his way through the crowd, but far much less quick than Mary had been. He was quite confused. He didn't exactly know what had happened, and he feared that he had said something that might have upset Mary. When he spotted her sitting alone under a tall tree, Matthew noticed her face looked as though she had been crying.

"Mary, are you alright?" He asked quite worried when he had reached her.

"I'm fine." She replied reluctantly, trying to hide her latest tears.

"You don't look fine." Matthew began, but was quickly interrupted.

"I'm sorry about the game; we probably lost because of me."

"Is that what this is about? Matthew asked with a kind smile, chasing her wandering eyes with his. "Is it because you couldn't remember anything about me?"

"What I don't understand is how you could remember all of those things about me, while I couldn't name one!"

"It's alright," he reassured her, patting her back gently, "It's not such a big mystery. You were the most popular girl in school. I was a nobody. Everyone went to see the Macbeth play or saw you in the carriage during the Spring Parade. I was lucky to be paired up with you, because it made this last game very easy for me."

"But how on earth could you remember about my lame Debate win? Even I had forgotten about that!"

"I remember because I was the other finalist. The one you beat."

"Oh" Mary sighed and was infected by his smile. "I guess you would beat my ass down now with your wondrous lawyer skills," she joked.

Matthew chuckled. "Oh darling, I could've beaten you back then as well."

"Then why didn't you?"

"Let's just say … You could be very intimidating. I didn't have the courage to go against you." He laughed again but noticed that Mary's smile was fading fast. "But there's something else bothering you, I can see it."

Mary frowned and sighed loudly, feeling so pathetic to have to reveal her thoughts to him. She didn't know if he was using some kind of lawyer's technique, but she simply felt that she couldn't hold it in any longer. " I heard about you father," Mary admitted, " and I know that we agreed to put the past behind us, but I simply cannot believe that you would act like this towards me. Not genuinely!"

"What? Mary, you are not making any sense!"

"You must have hated me so much back then. I was constantly awful to you, even when your father was dying! You can't be this kind to me without some ulterior motive!"

"I never hated you," he whispered, visibly shaken by the mention of his late father.

"What?" Mary asked in astonishment.

"That's true. Believe it or not Mary, I never hated you. It will sound paradoxical, but I actually respected you very much." Mary looked even more puzzled. "When you go through something like that," he began to phrase, "the thing you long for most is normality. That is why my parents and I chose not to tell anyone. All of us, and especially my dad, didn't want anyone to treat us differently. But I was just a young lad and in a moment of weakness I told my best friend at that time. I thought I would find comfort in his confidence, but he started to change, to pity me. It made everything worse. At that time, you see, you were the only one that I was sure wasn't going to treat me nicely because you had to. You kept going on your silly crusade against my fat belly, and that assured me that not everyone was going to change their ways towards me. I respected you for that. In a way you have been doing the same thing these past few days. You've been nicer, but you haven't started kissing my ass just because I am some big shot in London now. That part of you hasn't changed, you always stay true to yourself and that was, that _is_ … what I like the most about you."

Mary had the answer she was searching for in those blue eyes which were gazing deeply into her own. The sincerity and firmness of his gaze was ten times more effective than his explanatory words. But now that Mary found herself having to get rid of all those ridiculous thoughts and theories about him, she realized that he was still occupying a great part of her mind. And it was not because of the physical attraction; it was something different, something_ scary _and above all, _new_.

A sound of trumpets startled them from their momentary trance. John and the teachers were gathering all of the alumni to announce which pair had earned the most points and, therefore, had won. Matthew and Mary stood up and joined the crowd reluctantly, still looking at each other with gazes full of unspoken questions. The sound of people cheering and chatting all around had become so muffled to them that even when John Bates distinctively announced their names on the microphone, neither Mary nor Matthew heard it.


	4. The Reunion Dance Situation

**A/N: **_Happy Sunday! Hello guys, and sorry for the wait! Those of you who follow me on tumblr already know of my decision to go on hiatus. Sadly, it's finals' month and I'm just a few classes away from my graduation, so you understand I must give it my all. _

_That said, the original plan was to finish this fourth chapter and then go on hiatus indefinitely till about the end of june. But then I changed my mind again, and possibly it has to do with the fact that this chapter ends on a cliffhanger (don't peek!). I've decided to put The Lawyer from Manchester officially on hold, while I'll be writing this fic whenever I have time and/or feel like it._

_So, basically you'll possibly have another chapter soon but my updates won't be regular._

_Shout out to__** jmu**__, for polishing the whole thing (and the occasional Downton flailing via e-mail), and now I present to you the fourth chapter … _

**Chapter Four: The Reunion Dance Situation**

Mary woke up Saturday morning to the mockingbirds singing outside the guest bedroom's window. She had always complained about the audacity of those feathered creatures to start singing so early in the morning during summer, but strangely enough, this time she didn't mind it at all. She blinked furiously and yawned, stretching her arms above her head. When she stood on her own two feet, out of the bed, Mary stared at her limbs mindlessly, almost automatically. _Was she different? _She felt different. She didn't know why she would, but she definitely felt different.

Without even opening the curtains to the morning sun, Mary ran quickly into the personal bathroom to stare at her own reflection in the mirror. She was the same Mary she had always been. Same wavy chocolate-brown hair, same alabaster skin, same small nose, same full lips, same thick and extremely intelligent eyebrows. Nothing seemed to have changed, yet she felt terribly different, _inside_.

As she got into the shower, Mary browsed everything that had passed through her mind over the last few days; every memory, every feeling. But as the hot water rained on her, relaxing her body and nerve endings, none of the memories or feelings that she was analysing seemed to be out of the ordinary. She couldn't find anything that was so unusual as to cause her to feel so different... until she realized something. She had been thinking about _him_. Correction: she had _still_ been thinking about _him_. Exactly, that was definitely the point. Mary hadn't paid much attention to it before because the thoughts that she was having about Matthew Crawley were not out of the ordinary at all. She mostly wondered where he was, what he was doing, what he was wearing, (_was he naked?_). But just the fact that she _was _thinkingabout him had to make Mary think very carefully.

The fact that she was thinking about him _now_ could easily be justified since she was going to meet him in Town Square later that morning. But that did not justify the thoughts she had devoted to him in the days between the outdoor games and this morning. There was no logical explanation for them. And she no longer had any reason to _worry_ about Matthew, as it was clear that he didn't have some evil plan for revenge on her. Mary could blame it all on his blue eyes, his floppy blonde hair, his strong arms, his delicious upper body, and his bum - which would have made _Michelangelo's David_ envious. She could blame it all on his handsome features, but she knew her thoughts extended beyond steamy fantasies. It was something else, something which she had no other experience to compare with. She got out of the shower and was startled by the door of the bedroom swinging open.

"You're awake!" Sybil cried in astonishment, as Mary wrapped a towel around herself and stepped into the room.

"I'm meeting Matthew in Town Square at ten." Mary blurted out quickly, trying not to give it too much importance. To protect herself from nosey inquiry, she turned her back to Sybil to search through her luggage.

"So we are on a first-name basis with the gentleman _and _we are meeting up with him, _huh_?" Sybil teased curiously.

"We are meeting because we won those tickets at the games the other day," Mary explained. "We thought we should use them this morning since this is basically the last day of the fair."

"Oh. So, are we cool with him or not?"

Mary looked at her and rolled her eyes. "Matthew and I are ok, if that's what you're asking. We cleared everything up at the games the other day. But I've already told you that." She finished quite annoyed.

"I know, but you also change your mind three times a day. That's why I wanted to check."

"We are fine, alright? Don't push it." Mary warned her, once having zipped up her blue mini dress.

"There was no teasing in my words, I promise," Sybil assured her, sitting down on the huge four-poster bed. "I'm actually glad you two are in a good place. You're going back to London tomorrow afternoon and you'll probably never see him again. I don't know about you, but I always feel odd leaving things ugly with someone. It feels like a bad omen…"

Mary knew her sister meant well with her speech. She was speaking seriously for once, and was saying pretty sensible things. But her words made much more of an impact than Sybil had ever intended. _You'll probably never see him again_. The words echoing in her head loudly almost gave Mary a headache. She was never going to see Matthew again. Mary had been so caught up in her little Downton world, infused by memories from the past, that she hadn't really thought about her departure to London, _his _departure, their lives moving on. She had woken up cheerful this week, setting her mind to the easy tasks required for the fair, thinking about hanging out with her sister and Anna, and hoping to get a daily glimpse of him. Her mind hadn't travelled to London, about going back to work, about the most anticipated session with Dr Clarkson which awaited her. _Was she perfectly ok now?_ Had it all gone well? It must have. _Nothing_ had happened, for better or for worse. Well, she did have that little breakdown on the first day, but it was understandable. Things had gotten much better with _him, _too.

There, she had done it again. It was almost amusing the way her mind would always find its way back to Matthew these days.

"Have you and Tom made a decision?" Mary asked, changing the subject more for her sake than Sybil's.

"Yes, we have." Sybil replied. "We'll be back in Ireland in less than a week, so we've decided to spend the rest of our vacation here. I know you wanted us to go to London with you, but Downton is home … despite everything. We haven't been back here in ages, and I don't know when we will again."

Mary lowered her head and frowned; she knew that this was going to happen but knowing it didn't make it any less painful to hear. "I understand," she barely was able to mutter.

"You could stay here as well," Sybil proposed.

"Don't be silly, you know I have to attend Doctor Clarkson's session."

"But you can always come back. You're really telling me that you feel completely on your game? Do you feel ready to go back to work again?"

_Blah, blah, blah... _Sybil's words came too fast; she raised too many questions, made too many valid points. Her words were clouding Mary's judgement, pulsing painfully in her temples. Mary didn't need _this_, she couldn't stand it. She didn't want any lectures, she didn't want to be convinced, and she didn't want to think about the future. The future was an incredibly blurry question mark and just the thought of it was enough to twist Mary's insides. She couldn't think about it now that she was somehow … _happy_. Just thinking of such a word, in association with Downton, was enough to make Mary wonder. She didn't know why, but these days, surrounded by familiar settings and friendly faces, she was feeling utterly serene.

Mary had always loved Downton, but the rift with her family and the years since had turned that love into hate and horror. That was why she was curious to know what or _who_ had made the positive feelings bloom again. But Mary also knew it wasn't wise to study those feelings too much in depth. If she wanted to reach a sensible balance, she had to be really careful. She couldn't automatically follow her urges anymore. Doing so had led her to that messy hotel room all of those months ago, at the side of Kemal's cold body. No, she couldn't let herself end up like that once again. She had to be in control, she had to maintain clear judgement. Today she was going to meet an old acquaintance from high school, and that was it. She was going to have a nice time, and after a boring brunch on Sunday, she was going back to London. After seeing Doctor Clarkson, she would make plans. That's right, _plans._ 'Live for the day' would be an acceptable philosophy no more. She was going to make plans and she was going to make them happen. Nothing would be standing in her way, and the people she loved would finally be proud of her.

"Let's cross that bridge when the time comes, Sybil." Mary whispered with fake tranquillity, finally standing on her wedge heels.

"Just promise me you'll think about it," Sybil insisted. Having no more strength to debate her sister, Mary nodded lightly and made it perfectly clear it was time for her to leave.

* * *

Matthew Crawley was certainly not hard to spot. Tall, with his broad shoulders and his golden locks shining in the midday light, Matthew was a sight for sore eyes, even for Mary who was used to partying with models and movie stars. She took a moment to just gaze before calling out to him. His hands were in the pockets of his stylish blue jeans and he seemed to be looking at something in between the booths of the fair. Mary couldn't quite make out what he was looking at, but it certainly must have been funny because he had a huge boyish grin splashed on his face. Mary felt her heart pounding faster and louder as her feet brought her closer to Matthew, step by step. She was not going to second guess her inner monologue from earlier that morning, but looking, _simply looking_, wasn't going to hurt anyone, _was it?_

"Oh, Mary! I hadn't seen you there!" Matthew exclaimed, startled at having found Mary right next to him.

"I hope I'm not late!" She replied, trying so hard not to blush.

"Not at all," he reassured her. "I haven't been waiting for very long."

"I'm sorry that I startled you," Mary specified, "but you looked very caught up in whatever you were looking at."

Matthew chuckled in response, leaving Mary quite puzzled. She couldn't help looking curiously in front of them one last time, so Matthew decided to put her out of her misery. "I was looking at the kissing booth." He explained and pointed a finger in the direction of the silly booth.

"Oh." Mary mouthed, not quite sure of what could be so amusing about pockmarked teenage boys lining up to kiss posh girls.

"You don't remember, do you?" Matthew inquired, showing off that boyish grin yet again.

Mary stared at him then looked at the kissing booth again. Matthew noticed how her expression changed from still deeply perplexed to extremely shocked and horrified. "Oh my God," she muttered, blushing instantly.

"You do remember then." He said in an amused tone. "I remember so vividly the day that I was standing in line to get my kiss." Matthew began recounting and watched her out of the corner of his eye. "I paid the fee, like everyone else, and _you _told me to close my eyes."

"And that's when I made you kiss the toad I had stolen from the Bio lab," Mary finished the story with her words full of regret.

"That was some prank, I have to say," Matthew commented, still amused. Mary was baffled by his ability to laugh it off, just like all of the people who had laughed at him all those years before.

"I'm so, so sorry." She pleaded to him.

"Don't be, it's in the past."

"But I am! It gets me every time how much energy and creativity I used to put into my pranks."

"Well, I have to say it makes me a little proud that I was the biggest muse for your creativity!" Matthew teased, and this time Mary joined him in chuckling. Without realizing it at first, their arms gently brushed each other until their hands touched just for a few seconds. This small, almost imperceptible contact made their heads straighten up quickly. The intensity of his crystal blue gaze turned Mary's cheeks crimson red.

"It's – it's a shame you paid for a kiss, but didn't get one." She whispered, astonished by her words.

"Well I–", he breathed heavily, "I did kiss a frog, but it didn't turn into a princess." Matthew joked, trapped in the invisible cage around them.

"I still think you deserve your kiss." She stated with a warm smile, no longer surprised by her own audacity.

It was Matthew's turn to blush. He hadn't expected this; he couldn't have known the conversation was going to take such road. He wasn't prepared. "Mary, I—" he tried to stop her, but as her beautiful face came closer, the words died in his throat. After the longest two seconds of Matthew's life, Mary placed her full, rosy lips on his pale cheek. After that Mary's face returned to her usual pale, leaving Matthew all red and flustered, and feeling utterly stupid.

"What did you expect?" Mary chuckled, immensely enjoying her turn to tease him. Seeing that he still wasn't able to express a coherent thought, Mary grabbed the voucher they had won from his fingers and read their instructions. "We must go to the ticket office to exchange this for tickets to the ride of our choice," she recited as Matthew nodded nervously. "_Shall we_?"

The aforementioned office wasn't far from their starting point, but the walk served well to ease the _post-almost-kiss _awkwardness between them. They got in the queue and waited, waving at some old classmates passing by. Mary couldn't understand why it was always this way between her and Matthew. One minute they were extremely talkative, the next they would stare at each other in embarrassing silence. Mary was strongly tempted to ask what was on Matthew's mind but she stopped herself because she knew that might sound a little creepy. The awful spell of silence quickly ended, however, when they reached the top of the line. A gangly teenager with an odd freckled nose welcomed them and asked how he could be of assistance. After having quickly explained their situation, Matthew asked for the boy's suggestion of a ride, since neither he nor Mary seemed to have any preference.

"Alright," the boy began in his unpolished accent. "With this voucher you have three choices: the Carousel," at that mention Matthew peeked at his side to see Mary wrinkle her nose in disapproval, "then we have the Mirror House, and lastly. the Tunnel. Personally, I think the Tunnel is a very appropriate choice." The boy concluded in his artificial professional tone.

This time Matthew fully faced Mary and asked, "Tunnel?"

Mary shrugged. "Tunnel it is, then." She nodded, not bothered by the choice since all of the rides seemed equally lame.

Matthew exchanged the voucher for tickets to the Tunnel and they started to walk in their chosen ride's direction. The tension between them had been eased, and fortunately they had embarked on some nice, danger-free small talk. Everything seemed to be fine until Matthew suddenly stopped talking halfway through his speech. " … Mary I—I had no idea … That boy must've thought we …" Mary blinked, confused by his disjointed words. She was about to ask for an explanation, but when she turned her head, the big and bright pink signboard, which read '_The Tunnel of Love', _spoke for itself. The gangly teenager had thought they were a couple. The simple notion that somebody thought them well suited for each other was enough to make Mary's stomach flutter. Did they look good together? They must have. After all they were both gorgeous (Mary wasn't one to indulge in false modesty); she was attracted to him and he … wait, _was he attracted to her?_ The question was burning inside of her, even though Mary knew pretty well how mad that thought was. "I'm sorry, I'll go back and change tickets!" Matthew interjected, scattering her thoughts.

"Don't be ridiculous! I'm not letting you wait in line for another twenty minutes! Come on, let's just go and get it over with." Mary was very serious. Even though the course of events had put them in a very awkward position, there was no point in making such a fuss about it. They were adults after all.

After he made sure that Mary had no objections at all, Matthew led the way first to the Tunnel of Love's booth, then to their assigned canoe which was large enough to carry only two passengers. As he stretched his arm to help Mary with her balance, Matthew was glad that her amusement was making everything less embarrassing. If he were to tell this story to his past self, he would have surely been painted as a lunatic, a mad man. But here he was, laughing whole-heartedly with Mary Crawley at the silly clichés the Tunnel had to offer, from the mechanical swans to the music of Barry White. Their close scrutiny of such tackiness quickly turned into a competitive game, in which the aim was to spot the greatest number of tasteless items.

All of a sudden the canoe made an unexpected turn, almost seeming to tip over, and their warm, musical laughter was quickly replaced by Mary's loud gasp. She clung strongly to the first thing her hands found, overwhelmed by the fear of falling out.

"_Dammit!_" Mary cursed. "Why did they have to make the bloody canoe do that?" she lamented through still-heavy breaths.

"Probably to make you do _this._" Matthew pointed out amused, leaving Mary once again puzzled. It was shortly after, at a point where the Tunnel offered a little bit of light, that Mary saw that she had completely curled up into Matthew's side. When the realization hit Mary, Matthew busted out laughing uncontrollably. She retreated quickly and shyly, ashamed by her instinctive action. But Matthew's grin turned into a kind smile, reminding her that he hadn't meant to make fun of her. It was just his turn to tease her.

The canoe ride ended and as if her humiliation hadn't been bad enough, Matthew and Mary were shown the picture that was taken of them at the exact moment Mary had nestled in Matthew's arms. They both politely declined when the attendant suggested they buy the picture, and Mary tried to appear her usual stoic while she was looking at it. _They looked so good together._ It wasn't just a sensation on the back of Mary's neck. They were well suited, well proportioned for each other, they had _chemistry_. It was funny that out of all of the pictures that were taken of people during their canoe ride, it was Matthew and Mary – a _non couple_ – who looked more natural together and convincing than any of the _real_ couples.

"I guess I'll say goodbye to you tonight then," Matthew said carefully once they were back in Town Square. "Since you're leaving for London tomorrow."

"Oh no," she quickly corrected him, "I do leave tomorrow, but after the _great _embarrassing brunch!" She joked, causing Matthew to chuckle and nod. "I have to go now," she then informed him, in a much more serious tone, "my grandmother is expecting me for lunch. I'll see you tonight, then."

Matthew smiled in return. "I'll be the one carefully avoiding the dance floor," he declared.

Mary chuckled, "I'll be the one carefully avoiding the bar."

* * *

"We haven't done this in what … two years?" Anna cried excitedly as Mary zipped her up.

"I think it is more like three or four." Sybil specified, trying out different pairs of Mary's shoes. It had definitely been a while since the three girls had gotten ready together for a fancy evening.

"I still don't understand why Sybil and Tom are eligible to attend." Mary complained as Sybil stuck her tongue out at her.

"I've told you sweetie," Anna replied amused. "They're chaperones."

"_Younger_ chaperones? It doesn't make any sense!" Mary pointed out. "Sybil dear, you can tell us you're crashing the party for the booze," she teased, receiving in return a big white pillow in her face.

"Why don't we talk about you instead," Sybil requested. "Are we to expect any troubles, my dear Miss Crawley?"

"I'll play nice, if that's what you're asking." Mary replied, suggesting Anna wear something else. "I'll be as boring and as irritating as Cousin Susan on Christmas Day," she joked.

"Oh sweetie!" Anna intervened, "You only need to be careful, there's no reason for you not to have fun!"

"Darling, I appreciate your concern." Mary began while changing into her dress behind the elegant Chinese folding screen. "But maybe it's a little too early for me to have _fun_. This will be my very first sober and hook up-free dance ever!" She claimed as she emerged from behind the screen.

She had chosen one of the best pieces from her new collection. It was blood red and the front had refined lace inserts which looked elegant and extremely classy. Sexiness defined the back of the dress, which plunged quite low. Mary looked for her limited edition Jimmy Choo sandals, and once she decided to check herself properly in the full body mirror, she noticed an uncharacteristic silence had fallen.

"What?" she asked naively. "You don't think these shoes match the dress?"

"It's not that …" Anna gulped, staring at her in disbelief.

"What then?" Mary insisted.

"Darling, you said hook up-free dance, uh?" Sybil asked and Mary nodded in response. "That's not a hook up-free dress." Sybil pointed out, wrapping her mind around all of the dress's details. "That is a _rip-off-all-of-my-clothes _dress."

"Oh, Sybil!" Mary whined, "Why do you always have to be so vulgar?"

"Well," Anna cleared her throat, "Sweetie, Sybil does have a valid point."

Mary sighed loudly and theatrically. "And that is exactly why I am the designer in this room. You two don't know the first thing about fashion." She announced proudly.

_We might not know anything about fashion, _Sybil thought, _but we do know a few things about what goes on in a man's mind._ Sybil wanted to say, but seeing how light-hearted and serene her sister looked for once, she decided not to break the spell for her.

* * *

The three girls stepped into the wide gym being used as a ballroom, and suddenly it was Showtime. Both Sybil and Anna had granted Mary the wish to arrive separately from the boys, who they found waiting at the bar. On the way to reaching them, Mary noticed various unsavoury individuals giving her a lascivious eye, followed by Sybil's unforgiving _told you so _look. Mary simply decided to ignore them and laugh it off, declaring her intentions to spend a quiet and pleasant evening.

She didn't really know whether to feel more glad or embarrassed by the fact that John had a non-alcoholic punch prepared just for her, but in the end she decided to embrace his kindness and maintain her determined mantra for the evening. The D.J. had chosen to play the hits from their graduation year, which had inevitably brought back memories. Good, bad, and the ones you wanted to forget.

The room was so full and chaotic that it was very hard to find anyone, just as it was very easy to lose sight of your companions. Mary tried to keep an eye on Sybil and Anna, but she lost them eventually between one worthless conversation and another. It was when the D.J. decided to play a slow song that the scenery cleared and Mary spotted both her younger sister and her best friend. She sighed and shook her head in amusement as she looked at the two girls dancing with their beaus, both wearing ridiculous lovesick expressions.

For better or for worse, the new clearer vision in the room provided a much better view of who was standing at the side of the dance floor. While dodging yet another dance proposal, Mary noticed Matthew standing alone and watching people dance from afar. "You weren't kidding when you said you'd be avoiding the dance floor." Mary began when she finally reached him.

It took Matthew a few moments and a loud gulp (which thankfully was blanketed by the music) to recover from the vision that was Mary in her red dress. He quickly smiled to greet her, and took a sip of his drink nervously. "I never kid about dance floors," he chuckled, "But at least I have this cheap alcoholic punch to cheer me up!"

"Very funny," Mary challenged his joke, "But I can hardly believe _no one _has asked you to dance yet!"

Matthew grinned and decided not to hold her subtle compliment against her. "I didn't say no one has asked me. I've simply declined everyone kindly."

"Oh, does that mean you can't dance?" Mary asked quite amused.

"I _can _dance, I just choose not to. There's a big difference," Matthew justified himself proudly.

Mary couldn't help chuckling, "That is exactly what someone who _can't _dance would say." She replied, so amused by his obvious annoyance with the topic.

"If you really must know I do enjoy dancing, but I consider it to be a very intimate activity. I don't particularly like dance parties; they're just so messy and tasteless. To me _that_ is not dancing." He explained and pointed to their classmates who were displaying some very dubious moves to a Disco tune. "_That_ is one of the outer circles of Dante's Inferno." Mary couldn't help bursting out laughing at his hyper-dramatic speech. Her laughter was so musical and infectious that Matthew couldn't take himself seriously for too long. "I'm sorry," he apologized, "I just don't really like school dances. They give me the creeps, to be honest".

"That's ok," Mary reassured him. "I don't particularly love them either."

"Now _I _can't believe _you_!" Matthew protested, "You were so popular, you must have loved this kind of thing!"

"Way to go with your stereotyping!" Mary replied acidly, "You'll be surprised to know, then, that I always left way before a Dance ended!"

"And God knows where you'd go after!" Matthew replied without missing the chance to tease her one more time.

After giving him a proper Killer look, Mary looked around for her friends. Even if it was only meant to be a joke, Matthew's line had given her an idea. She debated whether to leave him to go spend some time with her sister and friends. But as she took another look around the room, Sybil, Anna, and their boyfriends were nowhere to be seen now. Mary looked at the time on the iphone in her purse; it was about eleven pm. This boring Dance nonsense would surely continue for another few hours, at least.

"Do you want to get out of here?" She then proposed quite nonchalantly to Matthew.

"I'm sorry?" Matthew blinked furiously, not sure he had heard correctly.

"Come on! You said it yourself that you can't stand this kind of thing! Since I'm pretty bored myself I thought I could show you a place. Do you want to see it?"

Matthew pondered Mary's proposition for a few seconds. After one last look at the dance floor, he replied "Alright, let's go."

It took them a while to leave the dance undisturbed, but as soon as they exited the crowded gym, Matthew followed Mary out of the school building without any questions. He was curious, and quite frankly amused, to discover what Mary Crawley's mysterious hideout could be. It was quite dark outside, but that didn't stop Mary from getting entering the part of the woods that still stood on the school's property. They walked in silence for ten minutes straight, as Matthew admired Mary's astounding walking skills in those ridiculously high heels. At the end of a path which seemed absolutely identical to all of the others they had followed, Mary turned her head to her companion and smiled triumphantly. An old wooden barn, decorated with a pretty vine, stood almost impossibly at the center of the small meadow.

"Come on! Keep up!" Mary encouraged him, and instantly took his hand to lead him to the front door. Matthew watched her as she twice tried to twist and turn the door's handle. After the repeated failure she seemed to have an epiphany. She kneeled down, making sure not to stain her dress, and raised the doormat to discover a small, dirty key. As she stood back up, Mary quickly put the key in the lock and swung the door open.

It was everything just as she had remembered: the old sofa, the leather armchair, the large Persian rug and the masonry fireplace. Every other piece of old and dusty furniture stood exactly where it used to, showing that the place hadn't been frequented much lately.

"How did you know about this place?" Matthew asked curiously while looking around, just as Mary had found the light switch.

"This piece of land – and all the school grounds as well – were originally part of my family's estate." Mary began as Matthew nodded. "I think it was the sixth or the seventh Earl who donated it to the school board. My grandmother had me and my sister study the whole story of the family and the original geography," she continued. "Frankly it was more interesting than useful, but we did discover some pretty cool things." She finished while lighting a candle on the small table to make the room a little bit brighter.

"So this was your favourite hideout?" Matthew asked and Mary nodded, while busily going through something on her iphone. "I wonder what you used to come here for …" he teased and Mary knew exactly what he was hinting at. This understanding between them, this teasing game, this _complicity_ was something entirely new in their relationship, and it was both scary and exciting.

"_Boy, _you are sooo clever!" she mocked him, still tapping on her mobile phone furiously.

Matthew chuckled, "I'm still oblivious though to the reason why you've brought _me _here." He stated, still wondering what the hell she was doing with her phone.

For the first time in their brief exchange, Mary looked up to smile naughtily at Matthew. "To dance, of course."

"_Excuse me?_"

"You said you _can_ dance, you just don't like to do it in front of many people," Mary explained. "Here there is only me and you. Go ahead and prove it."

Matthew growled. "I should have known this was a trap," he joked as he watched Mary place her phone on the table, leaving him to face her pale and bare back. A shiver went through him as he stood there in silence and saw her tapping the touch screen one last time. When she looked at him again, a soft music started to play. Mary extended her hand to Matthew, and after an initial reluctance, he took it. It was only when Mary was in his arms that he recognized the song. It was '_As Time Goes By' _from the movie Casablanca.

"How did you know I liked Frank Sinatra?" he asked baffled.

Mary followed his lead and replied, "You're not the only one who remembers some things, you know…" She met his eyes, only to savour his beautiful perplexed expression. "I believe it was some school charity event which involved a karaoke. You went up on stage and sang this song. I remember it because you made such a fool of yourself that I didn't even need to prank you that night." She joked and noticed how he was trying not to laugh, not to let her win.

They danced without speaking, and when the rhythm of the music increased, Matthew made Mary twirl unexpectedly. She gasped and he pulled her to him again, placing his cold hand on a bare spot of her back. Mary didn't know if the shiver she felt was because of his cold hand or because of the lack of space between their bodies. It was strange, but the cold touch that had just made her jump was now burning the spot on her back. She could feel his breath on her neck, she could hear its irregularity, she could smell his cologne mixed with the natural scent of his skin.

"So," he whispered almost in secrecy, "Are you convinced, now? Do I dance decently enough for your taste?" he teased, and by saying so, he moved his head to finally look into her brown eyes.

"Y—Yes" she stammered, shaken by the dangerous proximity to his eyes, his lips, his breath. Matthew had no strength left for teasing her, so he simply gazed soulfully into her eyes, letting his feet move automatically.

There was no clear thought in Mary's mind. All she could see were those two magnificent sapphires staring into her soul. The music ended, and there was only the sound of their irregular breaths to haunt the room. Something in his eyes changed, and as she wrapped her arms around his neck, Mary felt some sort of understanding between them. She moved her face closer to his, impossibly close, until Matthew spoke.

"Mary I—" he said in a low, irresistible voice, "I could say that I was drunk, what will your excuse be?" he asked on the verge of madness.

Mary abandoned his eyes to focus on his lips. Formulating something even remotely coherent in this moment was absolutely unmanageable. "I'll find one in the morning." Her words were barely audible, and they quickly, inevitably dissipated as Mary's lips met Matthew's.

It was not a sweet kiss; it was passionate, messy, almost rough. Her fingers had quickly found their place in his golden locks, while Matthew's were busy exploring the smoothness of the bare skin of her back. They were forced to break apart for air, but every last kiss was never enough, testament to the fact that Mary's sexual frustration over the past week had not been one-sided.

As Matthew carried on, moving to kiss her bare shoulder, Mary quickly removed his jacket. That simple, automatic gesture was the one which initiated that glorious tumult of skin against skin, lips against lips, tongue touching skin and clothes flying to the floor. As they lay back on the sofa and Mary welcomed Matthew in the curve of her neck, shuddering at the path of hot kisses he was tracing, Mary stared at her dress lying on top of Matthew's shirt, red against white. Sybil had been right, that was not a _hook up-free _dress.

Their latest round of clothes-ripping had left the both of them only in their underwear, and given that her dress had been backless, she hadn't been wearing any bra. That was why Matthew had obviously felt the need to devote great attention to her small yet perfectly sized breasts. Mary simply adored the sight of his blonde head curled up on her chest, and she moaned quite loudly at the feeling of his tongue against her sensitive nipple. Her desire for him was reaching an incontrollable level, so that a fierce spasm of her body caused them to flip and fall on the dusty Persian rug.

Their intimate contact and her new, more powerful position on top of him, made Mary quite aware that his desire, hidden in his grey underwear, was reaching its limit too. She kissed her way to his right ear and whispered, "I want you."

Those three simple words were enough to inspire the rough, animal instinct in Matthew, who flipped them over again on the rug and proceeded to remove their remaining clothing. There was a brief, tender moment between them right before he filled her. The intimacy of their gaze, blue eyes into brown eyes, was far more powerful and shuddering than the act of intercourse itself. At the height of his burning desire Matthew had stopped and had silently asked for her permission.

When the length of him finally entered her, hard and hot, Mary wrapped her legs tight around his hips to ease the process. A solitary tear escaped the corner of her eye as they physically joined together, which was followed almost immediately by their gasps. It took only a few seconds to adjust, to realize that they locked perfectly. So they started moving, slowly, gently, faster, more passionately, almost madly, at different rates and in different positions as they travelled together to their climax.

A few hours later they were still lying on the old rug, their limbs pleasantly exhausted. The candle on the table was so consumed that it had shut itself off. Matthew had found somewhere an old blanket to cover the both of them. He was staring mindlessly at the roof and Mary turned on her side to better admire his handsome profile.

"I tired you out pretty good, didn't I?"

Matthew chuckled at her witty remark and turned on his side to look at her as well. "To be honest, I didn't know half of those things were even possible!"

Mary chuckled in response, "I presume people in the fashion industry have much more creativity than people in law school."

"You presume right." He replied amused, as he gently caressed her flustered cheek.

Mary was lost in her thoughts as she spontaneously expressed, "What a mess, huh?"

That singular choice of a word made Matthew suddenly stiffen. He retracted his hand and replied in an emotionless voice, "What a _huge_ mess, indeed."

"Huh?" Mary murmured, staring at him looking lost. "Why the long face? I thought you just had the best sex of your life!" she stated with a hint of mockery.

Matthew sat up quickly in shock, "Y—You don't know?"

"What?" Mary asked obliviously, sitting up as well to face him properly.

"I—I thought you knew … I thought everybody knew!"

"Knew what?!" Mary raised her voice, starting to lose patience.

"Mary, I …" as he tried to blurt out the truth, his throat had become incredibly sore. "I'm getting married in five weeks."

**A/N: **_Ok, alright let's breath before we hit the review button! Before you get upset let me remind you that first: this is a M/M story, and two: the story is a rommcomm. The story has essentially the classic format of any other romantic comedy, so don't stress too much about it, this is the twist. The angst level will be minimum (promise),and I'm really excited about where I'm going to take you next. I've tried to convey in this chapter the powerful attraction they have for each other, but on the emotional level we're not really there yet. If you think about it, they're simply doing everything in the wrongest order possible. Plus, there's quite a lot we still don't know about Mr Crawley, isn't it?_

_Please stay with me, trust me, relax and … enjoy the ride!_


	5. The Awkward Brunch Occasion

**A/N: **_Hi guys! Yep my updates will be irregular, but that doesn't mean you can't have the new chapter sooner than expected! It seems that with inspiration and the right motivation (thanks for the lovely reviews), I can't stay too long away from OpenOffice :P_

_Addressing the critics: don't worry, I don't get mad about critical reviews. I know that the last chapter was very unexpected, but the only response that I can give to you is to let the story and its development speak for itself. _

_That said, I wanna thank all of you readers and supporters, and my lovely beta _**_jmu_**_!_

**Chapter Five: The Awkward Brunch Occasion**

At the precise moment he realized that Mary didn't know anything about his impending wedding, Matthew envisioned quite a different scenario. Knowing her character (or, at least, he thought he did), Matthew had imagined raised voices, flying insults and slammed doors. However, what happened after he had told her he was engaged took him completely by surprise. Mary had recovered her clothes quietly and had left without saying a word. She hadn't even turned to look at him before going out in the woods.

Matthew couldn't believe it was possible to go from feeling marvellous to numb in a matter of a few seconds. He recovered his clothes and left the cabin as well. He hadn't even bothered to tuck his shirt inside his pants, let alone actually put on his jacket. Without Mary's help, he got lost quite a few times in the woods and didn't reach his house, Crawley House (as his father used to playfully call it), until the first light of day.

Matthew's mother, Isobel Crawley, had gone to bed quite early and had no idea how late her son had returned home. That's why she cheerfully called up to him at around eight o' clock to inform him that tea was ready. Now Matthew, after only two hours of sleep, found himself having to get ready for the infamous final Brunch just a few hours away.

He needed to use a mirror to adjust his tie properly, but couldn't tolerate the sight of his own reflection. Standing there after what he had done, haunted by the memories in his teenage years' bedroom, was almost driving Matthew crazy. He cursed the day he had casually clicked on the page of the Reunion's event on Facebook, and had noticed that brief, shocking sentence: _Mary Crawley will be attending._

Matthew thought he must have realized, at some point, that his whole decision-making process had been rather absurd, yet it had seemed like such a good idea at the time that he had found out Mary would be at their high school reunion. All the doubts he had been having … about Lavinia, about their engagement, about his life moving forward so fast... too fast... Mary, his teenage crush; the girl he had deliberately let torture him so that she would, at least, notice him. Matthew had dreamt for so long of seeing her again someday, to watch her face as she realized the man that he had become, to tell her that he had made something of himself despite what she had believed about him in high school. Those fantasies had been previous to his relationship with Lavinia. But when Matthew learned that he would have an opportunity to meet Mary again, everything seemed to come together in his mind: He would go back to Downton and witness Mary's still-awfulness with an adult's eye. The idolized version of the girl he used to fancy, as a kid, would finally wash away forever from his mind. He would be able, then, to completely give his heart to Lavinia. Matthew hadn't foreseen what actually happened when he and Mary met again; he couldn't have, but he should have imagined that just as _he_ had grown up and changed, so had _Mary_. She was not the mean girl from high school any more, she was a woman who had lived and seen far too much for her age. She was strong and incredibly fragile at the same time, a beautiful contradiction hidden inside the most stunning of shells.

Just as he had hoped, just as he had dreamed, Mary had treated him quite differently than she had ten years earlier. But instead of keeping to his resolve, as he should have, Matthew had let the flattered teenager inside of him take over. He had forgotten about anything involving the wedding and the new prestigious job to focus exclusively on his and Mary's teasing and flirting. It had seemed harmless at first, but the whole thing had got carried away so quickly. They had been together and it had been so … _Oh God_ … He simply couldn't finish that sentence, if he did there would have been awful consequences.

He had come back to Downton to prove wrong his doubts once and for all, to show himself he was on the right path, but all he had done was indulge in fantasy from ten years earlier. Matthew was aware he had simply made everything worse, but that didn't matter anymore. He had to keep faith to the promise he had made to Lavinia. The events of the previous night had certainly shown him that Lavinia was a much better person than he was, and that she didn't deserve the doubts he had been having about her. He simply couldn't break off the engagement because of one night's indiscretion. He was a pathetic, narcissistic bastard and Lavinia was the best thing that had ever happened to him. In just one night he had hurt both his fiancée _and _Mary. _There, he had done it again._ He had been mulling for the past few hours over what _he _had done, what it had made _him_ feel, but he hadn't actually pondered how it had made _Mary _feel. _No, he simply couldn't go there_. He couldn't let himself care about Mary and her feelings, however much it felt right, _however much he wanted to_.

"Matthew!" his mother called him from the other room. Her loud voice had saved him from further dangerous thoughts. "Someone's at the door, would you be a darling and get it?"

Instructions, actions, physical movements. It was brilliant, exactly what he needed. He quickly replied favourably to Isobel and ran down the stairs to answer the door. Matthew thought with great relief that whoever might be there would surely take his mind off of things. Instead, when he swung the door open and looked up to greet the surprise visitor, his throat instantly closed up.

* * *

Mary woke up to the wonderfully rich smell of coffee that had quickly filled the reasonably-sized living room. The light which had already come in forcefully through the curtains hadn't been enough to wake her from her deep slumber, but to Mary caffeine seemed the only decent reason to wake up that morning. While making kitten sounds with her yawning and stretching her limbs not so gracefully, she noticed Anna coming in the room with a huge cup of black coffee.

"You are my angel!" Mary cried in a tired voice, taking a sip of the hot beverage. Anna smiled affectionately in return and sat beside her, as Mary was making room on the sofa. "Thank you so much for letting me stay over last night. I don't know what kind of explanation I could have given to my granny at four in the morning."

"Of course, sweetie. You know you can always count on me, whatever you need." Anna replied, patting her back gently. "But you have to tell me what happened to you last night. Sybil and I were crazy worried; we looked for you everywhere! Did you … _drink? _Did you take some drugs? I won't get mad, I promise. I just want to know what we're dealing with."

"It's nothing of the sort," Mary answered quickly under Anna's inquisitorial eye. "It isn't, I swear."

"Then what happened?"

"I …" telling the story to Anna meant acknowledging it had happened. It meant realizing it hadn't all been a dream; it meant admitting it had been possibly the best night of her life. _Well, _at least until he had dropped the bomb. "I slept with Matthew last night."

Anna blinked rapidly as she took in the new piece of information. Mary could tell the exact moment in which her best friend had actually understood. Her mouth fell open quite automatically, "Matthew … who?"

"From your face I'd say you know exactly who I'm talking about."

"But he's—" Anna murmured.

"… he's getting married in five weeks, I know." Mary completed her sentence trying not to appear either mad or weakened by the statement. "And before you ask, I did not seduce him. He played an equal part. I had no idea that he was with someone, let alone engaged for Christ's sake! He simply informed me after we were done, with the excuse that he thought I already knew!" That had possibly been the most hurtful part. Mary had been _that_ kind of girl in the past, but having the confirmation that Matthew thought of her as still being that way made her feel betrayed, almost violated. And it was so absurd because everything the night before hadn't felt like a lie at all. Every look, every kiss, every touch … everything had felt so terribly real, as though she should have always done it that way.

"Oh sweetie!" Anna cried and proceeded to hug her tightly, "This is so insane! I didn't think he would ever be capable of doing something like that!"

"He's always a man, I suppose," Mary replied bitterly, "I just wish you would've warned me!"

"But you said you didn't want to know anything about him! You said you couldn't care less about his affairs!"

As Mary stared into her friend's pale blue eyes, a sad smile painted her face "What is the first rule with me?"

Anna nodded and took Mary's hand, "Never pay attention to the things you say."

"Exactly."

Anna ditched her look of pity, which she knew her best friend absolutely loathed, and decided to tell her what she knew. "Do you remember when Sybil and I told you about Matthew joining this big London firm?" Mary answered her friend with a nod. "The name of the firm is Swire & Company. They've been working with big celebrities and politicians, so I'm sure you must have heard of them." Mary usually let her assistant handle all of the brand's legal bits, but the name did indeed ring a bell. "Anyway, Matthew is marrying the owner's daughter, a Miss Lavinia Swire. She is an activist and works with many charities. It was all in that magazine I was telling you about."

Mary's first urge was to laugh bitterly, but even doing that meant giving Matthew far too much importance. She didn't want Anna to get overprotective; she didn't want her to think that she actually cared for Matthew because she didn't … _did she_? How could she, anyway? Even if they had known each other for over ten years, Mary didn't actually know anything about Matthew. If she had known the whole truth about him, she most certainly wouldn't have gotten involved with him in the first place. And of course Matthew wasn't marrying just _anyone_; he was marrying the daughter of one of the most prestigious upper-middle-class families in England, a proper London princess. Mary had no doubt that Lavinia would be beautiful as well, and of course she was proper because she frequented all of those boring upper-class events and took part in all of those pretentious charities. The girl also had an absurdly posh name, ripped out from the classics. _Lavinia._ After giving it further though, Mary had to admit it was really funny that Matthew was marrying the kind of girl that her own father had always wanted her to be. It had always been the basic fact of their discord: Robert had always wanted her to be the proper girl, the one who does what her family expects of her, what her social status expects of her. But Mary had decided she simply couldn't be something she wasn't, and Sybil had quickly followed her lead, making Mary in Robert's eyes the source of all of their family's troubles. But then again, Matthew had chosen to sleep with _her_ the night before. Any romantic spirit would probably make wild assumptions about that, but Mary looked at the whole matter with a realistic eye. In the end what a man really wants is a proper girl, someone who could stay in her place. Whereas girls like Mary, exciting and damaged, could only make the perfect enjoyment of a night. The deep sense of disgust she was feeling made her want to drink a whole bottle of champagne and hook up with the first person she met at a bar, but she wasn't going to do that. She was not as weak as she had been so many months ago. All that had happened to her had made her a different person, which meant that following her primal urges was no longer an option to her. If it were, then Matthew would have been right about her. If it were, _her father_ would have been right.

"Look, sweetie, we don't have to go today if you don't feel like it. We can hang out just the two of us, or with Sybil … We can catch a movie and have lunch before you go back to London."

Mary was tempted by the possibility to run away from the whole mess, but then she realized: _Why would she have to be the one to run away? _She hadn't done anything wrong. As strange as it sounded, this time it wasn't _her_ fault. "No," she replied resolutely, "I don't care, we _are_ going!" She stated, standing up theatrically, "Whatever happens, I'm not going to be the one who comes across as needy and pathetic. We are going, and we are most definitely going to have a good time!" Mary proclaimed, brightening up Anna's face. "But – err – I think you'll have to lend me something, because I don't think this dress is appropriate and because I'm sure we are already epically late!"

Anna bursted out laughing and led her friend rapidly to her closet. She had no idea whether Mary's newfound strength and swagger had real roots or was simply another of her many shields to handle uncomfortable situations. But it didn't matter because whatever happened, this time she would be by Mary's side.

* * *

Mary had checked on Sybil on their way to the brunch and had been extremely glad to know that her little sister had covered for her with their grandmother, saying that Mary had always planned to sleep over at Anna's. Of course acknowledging Sybil's brilliant save also meant promising to tell her everything before she went back to London, since her spirited younger sister had not been as gentle as Anna was in expressing just how worried she had been the previous night.

When their phone call ended, Anna had just pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant. It was the same place they had had the inaugural lunch, so retracing her steps back up to the terrace meant reliving the same anxiety Mary had felt the first time that she had stepped into that room. Ironically, the source of her anxiety the previous time had also been Matthew. This time, however, the feeling was slightly different. The day of the inaugural lunch she had been nervous about seeing him because of the public meltdown she had earlier on that morning. But even if she had been reluctant to admit it, Mary had also looked forward to seeing Matthew. Now, seeing him was the last thing she wanted to do, but at the same time it was exactly what she needed to do ... get some closure and try to mend little-by-little her emotional condition.

When they finally arrived to the pretty glass porch, Anna and Mary didn't even have the time to look around properly before John had come to welcome them with a huge relieved smile on his lips. "Here is our lost girl!" John exclaimed affectionately to Mary, putting an arm around Anna's waist. "Are you alright?" he asked with a reassuring smile, hinting that he wasn't going to push her to say anything more.

"I'll survive." Mary replied, smiling sincerely to both John and her best friend. John had no idea how glad Mary was that he was only trying to make sure that she was alright, without any added curiosity. She was starting to see exactly what had drawn Anna to the older man, and what a perfect match they were. Normally Mary wouldn't have noticed such things, and that was partially the reason why she had refused to develop any sort of relationship with Tom, Sybil's boyfriend. But lately Mary had started noticing things. She was beginning to open up naturally and it felt like a good thing, but it obviously hadn't worked in every situation.

"Whoa!" Anna cried looking distantly from their trio, "I hadn't noticed that huge crowd when we came in! Did you bring in some kind of a celebrity?" she joked, poking her boyfriend's chest affectionately.

John chuckled lightly as he playfully locked eyes with Anna. "Something like that …" he hinted, but he soon realized his vague answer wouldn't satisfy Anna or Mary who continued to look at him expectantly. He giggled again and let them in on the identity of the mysterious addition to the party. "Matthew Crawley has brought his girlfriend, the daughter of that multibillionaire lawyer from London. Your silly minx classmates haven't let her breathe since they came in." John finished the last sentence quite amused.

_Well,_ that had to be the funniest thing anyone had ever heard. One night Matthew shags an old classmate and the day after he parades his fiancée in front of his conquest. Matthew had to be either the stupidest man on the planet or the most heartless; Mary still had to decide which. As John was telling them about Lavinia's presence, Anna had quickly turned to check on her friend but Mary had instantly dodged her gaze by announcing that she suddenly was incredibly hungry. She moved fast towards the buffet table while greeting Gwen and a few others in the process. She filled her plate almost neurotically with Eggs Benedict, waffles and fresh strawberries. But as she went to fill her champagne flute with what looked like some kind of virgin mimosa, Mary realized she was standing in a spot with a perfect view of the two people who were currently being held hostage by the huge crowd. That was when Mary saw her.

Just as Mary had predicted, Lavinia was beautiful. She had a remarkably proportioned figure, wrapped into a very expensive Chanel suit (Mary had recognized that instantly), she had a pretty face and lovely manners and _of course _she had light eyes and splendid strawberry blonde hair. She was definitely the picture perfect wife, and Mary could realistically imagine the fat blonde-haired, blue-eyed kids running around their perfectly matched parents. It was disgusting.

Mary thought that Lavinia's qualities must extend beyond her beauty, because the crowd before them seemed completely enraptured by whatever she was saying. The only person who actually looked like that was the last place where he wanted to be was Matthew. With his hand on Lavinia's shoulder, he looked like he was holding a sister rather than a lover, and the expression on his face hinted that his mind was completely elsewhere. Mary commanded herself not to make any assumptions, but her eyes stayed on Matthew's person long enough for him to notice her.

Instead of looking away instantly, Mary froze at the sight of his beautiful blue eyes fixed on her. She and Matthew were both petrified and their deeply powerful stare lasted a few endless seconds. But when Matthew looked away first to whisper something in Lavinia's ear, Mary's eyes were filled with terror. He then did exactly what she was fearing: he was coming over.

Mary looked around her, moving both of her busy hands clumsily. She had to get out of there, but her confusion, and the fact that there were no spots left to place her huge plate, made her slower than Matthew, who reached her quickly.

"Hi." He whispered in a collected voice, as he helped her, freeing her hands from her plate.

"Hi." Mary echoed him and sighed quite loudly, with the firm intention of staring at her shoes during the whole exchange.

"Look Mary, I just really want to clarify that I had absolutely no idea that Lavinia was coming over, I would never put you thr—"

"You don't have justify yourself to me." Mary interrupted him, "She's your fiancée, isn't she? You are perfectly entitled to parade her wherever you like." She finished in a sharp tone.

"Mary please, just hear me out … I know that what I said last night after we – I know how it must have sounded, but I just want you to know I don't think those things about you; I— in fact I think the whole thing was my fault only. I was confused and—"

"Please," Mary hushed him halfway through his rambling monologue. For the first time she looked at him. "Please understand that I just don't want to hear it! You were _drunk_ and I … I do these things all of the time, _don't I!_" She exclaimed resentfully, moderating the volume of her voice. Through his eyes she could tell that Matthew's mind was a whirlwind, his unfinished words left hanging on his lips, but Mary had no use for them. What was done was done, and she simply couldn't see anything good coming out of even the most sincerest of apologies. Matthew had to respect at least that.

"Honey, won't you introduce me to your friend?" A gentle voice suddenly broke through their force field. At that moment Mary noticed that Matthew's expression changed from deeply exasperated to one of purest terror.

"S—sure," Matthew stammered as he welcomed Lavinia between them. She had just excused herself from the talkative crowd.

"Sweetie, there you are!" Anna cried loudly on purpose, coming to Mary's rescue before Matthew could speak. "I knew I would lose you by the buffet," she casually joked, "oh, hello Matthew."

"Good morning Anna," Matthew greeted her back, loosening the collar of his blue shirt. "Well, girls this is Lavinia Swire, my – my girlfriend."

"Actually the proper label is _fiancée_, honey!" Lavinia joked, patting Matthew gently on his chest, "He always forgets that!" She giggled and stretched her hand to shake both Anna's and Mary's. _Oh yes, _Mary thought, _he does forget to mention that._

"Nice to meet you, I'm Anna Smith." Anna said politely while shaking Lavinia's hand.

"And I'm Mary Crawley." Mary blurted out quickly, looking for an excuse to run off.

"Oh," Lavinia said elegantly and turned her head towards Matthew, "is she a cousin or something?" Mary coughed instantly, almost as though she had choked on something.

"No," Matthew replied, looking at Mary out of the corner of his eye. "Do you remember when I told you there are two Crawley families here in Downton?"

Lavinia nodded excitedly, "Of course!" she replied interrupting him. "Then you must be _Lady _Mary Crawley! The daughter of the Earl of Grantham!"

"Oh, boy!" Mary snorted, "I haven't heard anyone call me that in a while!"

"Honey, you could have told me you knew Lord Grantham's daughter!" Lavinia cried, following her own train of thought while smacking her fiancé affectionately. "This _dummy_ insists that we should get married here in Downton, but he hasn't lifted a finger to help me find a suitable venue for the reception! But this is just mar—"

"Oh no, Lavinia, please! I don't want to trouble Mary!" Matthew interrupted the redhead, anticipating what she planned to say.

"I'll leave Mary to say if it's trouble!" Lavinia protested. "Come on! You said yourself that Downton Abbey is absolutely stunning! You know it would be perfect! You see," she then said, focusing her attention back on the girls, "I have had my eye on Downton Abbey for a good while, but they told me that it's so committed to events right now that they can't open it further for just anyone. It's such a pity, because on our day the Abbey is actually available, but Daddy and I don't know anyone in Yorkshire that could recommend us …" Mary froze instantly. She couldn't believe what she was hearing. How long had she known the girl, _ten minutes?_ And she was already asking for a recommendation to get married in her _frigging childhood home?!_ Of course poor Lavinia, who apparently was used to getting her own way with a smile and a compliment, had no clue as to why Mary would be bothered by the notion that she would be marrying _Matthew _in _her _house. "Look." The ginger continued, pulling a magazine out of her Longchamp tote bag. Mary watched her curiously, but out of the corner of her eye she caught Matthew breathing an overwhelmed sigh at Lavinia's actions. The girl handed her and Anna the magazine which featured her own self on the cover. "They talk about our wedding in here; they say it's going to be The Event of the Year! I'm sure your parents would be pleased to host it at the big house."

Mary had to force herself to stay still and restrained; otherwise, she would have busted out laughing uncontrollably. _What kind of person carries around in her purse a magazine that features herself? _That was pretentious to say the very least. Mary knew Lavinia was waiting for her response, but she decided to take a moment to glance at Matthew and then again at the cover of the magazine.

Matthew looked tired and dispirited. His eyes were fixed far away from Lavinia and the magazine, and he was massaging his eyebrows out of frustration. "Mary, you really don't have to do anything," he assured her, "Lavinia is just overexcited." But his apologetic phrase was interrupted by Mary's sudden chuckle. Anna instantly shot a warning glance to her best friend. Lavinia, on the other hand, looked confused and upset by Mary's reaction.

"What's so funny?" Lavinia asked in the most polite tone she could muster.

"Oh, I'm sorry!" Mary stepped out of her trance. "I just realized the coincidence that in the magazine you were wearing one of my dress designs." She informed the redhead, and received quite a surprised glance from Anna. Mary realized that was probably why the name Swire sounded so familiar to her... the dress must have been one of her last works before her breakdown. Fate did work in mysterious ways, and to Mary it seemed that it had the strangest sense of humour.

She handed the magazine back to Lavinia, and noticed that even though the girl was extremely well mannered, she was looking at Mary in a way that made it clear she was still waiting for Mary's answer. "About the Abbey," Mary began capturing Lavinia's full attention, "I'm afraid I wouldn't be of any use since I'm not on speaking terms with my parents." She explained and noticed the girl's disappointed expression. "But I can leave your name with my grandmother so that you can make contact with her. I'm sure she will be helpful." Mary concluded, measuring the tone of her voice and carefully avoiding Matthew's piercing stare. "Now if you'll excuse us, Anna and I should go catch up with our friend Gwen over there." Mary pointed out politely, "It was … _nice _to see you, Matthew. And of course to meet you, Lavinia."

Lavinia and Matthew thanked Mary for her kindness and their party quickly broke up. Mary and Anna reached Gwen and they spent the rest of the brunch making polite conversation and wishing luck to a few friendly classmates. For the rest of the morning, Mary and Anna decided against mentioning Matthew and their intense meeting of Lavinia. When the gathering came to an end, Anna went to the parking lot to retrieve the car while Mary quickly ran to the wardrobe to collect both of their jackets. She handed their number tag to the boy behind the counter, but before he turned around to start searching, he accepted another tag. Mary turned to her left almost automatically to see Matthew looking at her hesitantly, his eyes full of something that Mary couldn't decipher.

"I'm sorry about earlier," he quickly blurted out. Mary was beginning to tire of his apologies. "I will do my best to discourage Lavinia from her intention. She had no right to ask you that." Mary did not reply at first. She paused and waited for the wardrobe boy to produce her jackets. "Don't worry," she worded with apparent calm, "I meant what I said. I have no more relations with the Abbey. In fact, I don't care if you have the reception in the great hall or the big library or my _frigging bedroom! _But before _she_ gets any ideas, please inform her that I don't design wedding dresses!" Mary declared quite harshly, not caring if anyone was listening, and stormed off without saying goodbye.

* * *

"If you felt the need to tell me, Mary, then there must be something different. What is it?"

Doctor Clarkson's words were firm and matter-of-fact. As he spoke them with his impeccable professional tone, they echoed in Mary's head. _What was different this time?_

After the worst brunch she had ever endured, Mary had gone back to Dower House to finish packing her things and say goodbye to her grandmother. She had spent a couple of hours in the company of her little sister and her best friend, and then she left for London as she had planned. She had tried to convince the lot of them, but even John and Tom (with whom she had not consulted) strongly felt that it would be best for Mary to not travel alone to London. Finding herself with weak support she had to accept their recommendation and so she had purchased the most expensive ticket for the fast train from York. Both of the happy couples drove her to the train station, and agreed that Tom and Sybil would return Mary's car on the day they had to catch the plane to Dublin.

Sybil, naturally, hadn't given up on trying to convince Mary to stay, but Mary had resolved (without any second guessing) that if she wanted to put her life back on track she must stay to her original plan: meeting with Doctor Clarkson and going back to work. She needed to feel strong and independent; she knew that the only way she would finally feel good about herself was if her loved ones felt proud of her. She needed something to make them proud.

During the journey on the train her mind travelled back to Matthew. She wondered when he was going to leave for London; she feared that he might be on the same train. She wondered where he lived, if they took the same lines on the tube, she wondered if his firm wasn't too far away from her studio. But then she stopped. _Why was she stressing about him so much?_ The man had made himself a mystery and she had fallen directly into his trap. She had slept with him, but why was that relevant now? She had gotten over people who she had been shagging for months way faster than this.

Mary couldn't figure out any possible reason for the strange feeling in her stomach, and if there was anything that she hated, it was to be ignorant. But the situation seemed pointless, so Mary had decided that the only foreseeable solution was to lock Matthew, and the whole night she'd had with him, in a drawer in the back of her mind and never open it again.

However, while reporting to Doctor Clarkson about her week spent in Downton, the matter of her experience with Matthew naturally spilled from her lips. She had felt the need to discuss it, and she didn't know why. She wanted to tell _someone_, but not in the restrained way that she had told Anna and Sybil. She wanted to pour her heart out, but she found her usual barriers blocking her.

"You have met many men like this, Mary, but you've never felt any need to tell me about it. Why do you now?" Doctor Clarkson inquired once again encouragingly.

"_I don't know._" She replied with honesty and pain.

"There must have been something different. Do you remember anything that would make that night different than others you've experienced?" _Different? _Mary had no idea of what the doctor meant, but she found herself blushing fiercely. "No, I don't mean in _that _way," he specified, "I mean how did you _feel_ about what happened? What was different about this ?"

Mary pondered a while on Doctor Clarkson's words. How did she feel about it? How to put it into words? She had been with married men before, and how had that made her feel? Mary remembered perfectly: she hadn't even cared, but when she had discovered Matthew was engaged – this time … "This time … it hurt." She said, voicing aloud her sudden realization.

Later that evening, Mary was looking at the London Skyline shimmering outside the glass wall of her luxurious penthouse. It was a quiet night in her big, empty home, and she was curled up beside the window with a steamy cup of black tea. On the table in front of her lay the square piece of paper that Doctor Clarkson had given her.

Mary had been quite surprised when the doctor had actually signed the Assent form which testified that she was emotionally stable enough to return to work. During their session, she had wanted to slap herself for bring up the whole Matthew thing. Mary thought that needing to discuss it had made her appear weak, but the doctor had smiled under his thick moustache and assured her that wasn't the case. Rather, the simple fact that she had been willing to talk about the issue, to open up, meant that she had actually made good progress.

Still, it was strange to think after all of those months of therapy, that all she needed to do was to show up at work with that piece of signed paper, and everything would be back to normal. Her days would once again be filled with deadlines, model auditions, runways, venue bookings, party planning, design making, and so on. Finally her days would be so busy and keep her mind off everything and everyone; she wouldn't even need to worry about herself because she would only have enough time to think about her job. But at night it would be different. There would be no more strange men in her bed, no more bottles of whisky and champagne, no more wild parties. It would only be her and various cups of tea, all alone in her huge apartment, night after night.

Mary pondered a long while on Doctor Clarkson's words. With his certification, Mary could have gone back to work as soon as the day after their meeting without any problems. She even thought that probably the junior designers had made a huge mess in her absence. But then again the doctor had suggested (more like a _friend_, he had said, rather than as her doctor), that she take the rest of the summer off and start working again full-time in September. It was an opportunity to relax after all of her hard work in recovery and therapy.

Mary thought about the great sense of pride and independence she would feel going back to her studio and working on her new clothing line. But her mind reverted quickly to the vision of the lonely nights that awaited her. For the first time in possibly all of her 28 years of life, she allowed herself to admit that however rewarding going back to work would be, all she really wanted right now, all that she really needed, was not to be alone.

Mary stood up suddenly, and after tossing her mug and the doctor's certificate aside, she got hold of her iphone to compose Anna's number.

* * *

"I'm so happy you changed your mind!" Sybil cried loudly, as she trapped her oldest sister in a bone-crushing hug.

Mary giggled at her astounding enthusiasm. "You know I'm terribly stubborn sometimes, but I'm starting to catch up."

"I only wish I could spend the rest of the summer with the two of you!" Sybil voiced, looking at both girls with longing. "But Tom has to go back to work, and it probably won't be best to travel often when I'll be positively huge." She joked as Anna finally finished bringing the tea and all of the biscuits and cakes into the living room.

As she finally sat down, Mary looked at her luggage at the side of the room. "Please Anna, remind me to thank John for offering his guest bedroom. I couldn't have Granny avoid my parents for the rest of the summer."

Anna gave her a warm smile. "He wasn't lying when he said it will be wonderful to have you here until September. And I completely agree!" She finished, overwhelming Mary with her hug. "But as much as I love you, don't expect that this cohabitation will be free of charge." Anna joked, but Mary looked at her quizzically. "Do you really think I would let you lay on the sofa doing nothing for the rest of the summer?"

"Of course not!" Mary protested, "I will help around the house and with the food shopping and anything you need!"

"No no no," Anna hushed her quickly, "I'm not talking about that!" She replied with a grin. " I have signed up the both of us for some volunteer work!"

"What?!" Mary exclaimed in annoyance.

"Oh yes, milady! Sybil is coming, as well, on the first few days before she leaves. We'll be helping out at this division of the local hospital called the _House of Downton's Lost Girls._ I thought it seemed fitting."

Mary stared at her best friend's triumphant face and replied by throwing one of the square cushions at her huge grin. These were going to be the longest five weeks of her entire life.

**A/N: **_Ok, I know it was a transitional chapter, but we needed it. Now Mary is back to Downton and I wonder who could ever run the House of Downton's Lost Girls …_


	6. The Extra Volunteer Addition

**A/N: **_Happy Wednesday lovely people! Here is the new chapter for you. Before we get into it I want to apologize to the people who were mislead by the description (I changed it just to be safe in the future) and thought this fic was going to be all fun and silly in general, in the beginning that is what I thought too. But it all naturally developed from that in my head, and while the story still manages to be funny at times, it does touch deeper themes, to me it has only improved the quality of the story and I'm sorry if you think otherwise. On the other hand, I'm absolutely humbled by all the lovely review you've left! A bunch of them were truly heart warming, thank you, really. It's nice to know you still believe in me and the story. _

_But now it's time to move on with the new chapter, so let's thank _**_jmu_**_ for making the whole thing less messy! I am so excited to know what you think about this new direction I'm taking you._

**Chapter Six: The Extra Volunteer Addition**

_House of Downton's Lost Girls. _Seriously, that name was terrible. Mary had read through the brochure and the website and had discovered that it was basically a house for the recovery (a Rehab, as Hollywood stars would call it) of teenage girls with all sorts of problems. That was exactly why the name they had chosen bothered Mary so much. How would you expect a teenage girl, who has suffered for one reason or another, to listen to you if you label her as a _lost girl?_ Mary still couldn't wrap her mind around it; it was absurd.

It was the weekend again and Sybil was going to leave for Dublin on the next day. The week that the three girls had together had been something really special. They had gone on little trips, shopping, to the spa, and had lots of meals at Alfie's. Sometimes even Edith had come along, and to Mary's greatest surprise, she had been quite lovely. Mary didn't know why, but maybe it was Sybil's glowing figure, or her amusing reactions to all of her pregnancy's ups and downs, that had put everyone in a good mood. And just like that, Mary had forgotten she was a recovering alcoholic; she had forgotten that she was the girl who had almost overdosed at the side of her dead boyfriend. No, during the week spent in the company of her favourite people in the whole world, she had simply been _Mary_. Not the bitchy high school Mary or the snobbish, wild fashion designer Mary. _This_ Mary was probably the same who had left Downton for her first year of college, the one who had become best friends with Anna Smith. This Mary was both the rarest Mary and the one in her purest form.

"Don't worry sweetie," Anna said for the tenth time as Mary's eyes were fixed on the road. "Today they will only introduce the girls to us and it will be some kind of a test. They already have lots of nurses; they will probably have us do the laundry or bring tea. I don't think they will let us be around the girls much."

Mary sighed in relief. She and Anna were driving to the aforementioned clinic up the hill, for their first day of volunteering. Sybil and Tom were coming along, following them in another car. Mary didn't know whether Anna had innocently arranged for this volunteer assignment, or had devised a particular plan with Doctor Clarkson's advice. But the idea of being around troubled teenage girls had put Mary on edge for a few days. She was afraid that by looking at them she would see herself and would be completely horrified by that. But Anna's last statement had almost reassured Mary. Simply bringing tea to the girls would be wonderful. After a whole month of doing only that, Mary would definitely be bored and tired of it, but at least it was a safe assignment for her.

Anna pulled into the small parking lot in the heart of the woods and they went to wait for Sybil and Tom by the building's entrance. There was a big sign above the front door which reiterated the awful label. _Poor girls, _Mary thought. When Sybil and Tom finally reached them, they decided to enter with the other volunteers since it was about time to start. Mary was glad to find out that she knew almost none of the other volunteers. They were mostly students from the University of York on the hunt for some credits, which made Mary glad because that meant she probably wasn't going to be the most incompetent of the group.

While waiting, everyone had decided to chat in their own small groups, generating a light buzz in the big hall. But when the big clock on the white wall started to ring as it reached ten o' clock, the buzz of the volunteers grew louder because they all were wondering why the clinic's staff hadn't appeared yet. Then someone else came into the room, and the girls heard some college students say that it was the Director of the clinic. Curious, Mary turned her head almost automatically and gasped loudly when she recognized the elderly woman talking with a nurse beside the door.

"Mary? What is it?" Anna asked worriedly in a low voice so to not draw any attention. Mary gasped again and simply pointed to the elderly woman (she knew it was terribly rude, but she simply couldn't find the words). "Oh," Anna cried as she also recognized Isobel Crawley. "What is the problem with that? I can assure you Mrs. Crawley is the nicest woman."

"Anna! You can be so naïve at times! That woman absolutely hates me!" Mary replied in exasperation and quickly ran to hide behind Tom's broad shoulders when she saw Isobel coming over. Sybil and Tom, who had been completely oblivious to Mary and Anna's conversation, watched Mary's action in confusion, but when Sybil opened her mouth to protest, someone else anticipated her.

"Sybil dear, how nice to see you!" Isobel began in her cheerful and imposing voice. Sybil jumped at the sound of her voice, and as she began to understand Mary's curious behaviour, she managed to show the elder woman a polite smile.

"Mrs. Crawley, how nice!" she replied, and looked sideways for Mary while Isobel hugged her affectionately.

"I hear you're almost done with your medical degree! You have to know that I'm incredibly proud! I always knew you had it in you!" Isobel exclaimed proudly. When she was still in high school, Sybil had had a hard time trying to figure out what she wanted to do with her life besides leave Downton Village for good. While working for extra credit at the local hospital, she had found Isobel who had recently lost Matthew to Cambridge and was more than willing to inspire a new pupil.

"Oh thank you so much; you were a tremendous help back in the days!"

"So what brings you here, my darling? Are you going to stay and help us for the rest of the summer?" Isobel smiled expectantly.

"I'm afraid not, Tom and I are heading back to Dublin tomorrow. I'm just here to support my sister for the day."

"Oh," Isobel replied casually and looked around. "Edith is here?" she asked.

"Erm…" Sybil murmured, "No, it's not Edith."

Mary saw no further point of hiding behind Tom, so she drew a long deep breath and came out of hiding. And just as she had imagined, just as she had feared, there it was, _the look_. The last time Mary had looked Isobel Crawley in the eyes it had been so many years ago, outside the front door of Downton Abbey. Mary had been hiding behind Carson while Isobel threatened to have her expelled from school. When she peeked from behind the butler, she had received exactly the same look that she received now. Matthew may have forgiven and forgotten, but surely Isobel had not. Mary was positive that the woman hated her, and now she was going to be her boss for an entire month.

"Good morning Mrs. Crawley," Mary said clearing her throat, trying to make the corners of her mouth curve into a polite smile. But she couldn't do it; Isabel's expression was just plain scary..

"Well," Isobel replied, barely acknowledging Mary's greeting, "Now that we've all caught up, I guess it's time to begin." She informed their small group, and went back towards the glass door that separated the entrance hall from the facility. Sybil and Mary exchanged a quick glance under Anna's and Tom's puzzled looks, and the whole crowd turned towards Isobel who began to address them. Regardless of some late-comers, she instructed all of the volunteers on every step of that morning. They all had to introduce themselves to the girls, by stating their names (no last names) one by one; then they were going to be split into small groups, and that was when they had to try to make contact with the patients. "Time wasters" wouldnot be welcome on the days to come. As the grey- haired woman made that last remark, Mary could have sworn that she saw her eyes searching for Mary. _Well, _Mary thought, _if that was the case (and even though she did not owe that woman anything), she was going to show her who Mary Crawley really was. _If there was one trait that had never left Mary, it was undoubtedly her sense of pride. She _was _gonna show her, _just you wait Mrs. Crawley, just you wait._

The real problem with Mary's proud little plan, though, was that when it came her turn to introduce herself in front of all of the messed-up looking girls - who were giving her judgemental looks – Mary felt incredibly stupid. She blurted out her name quickly and awkwardly, and had to stop to remind herself very carefully of the reason why she was even there. Anna, Sybil, Granny, Doctor Clarkson, and why not … even Tom and John. All of the people who could have simply waited for her to again crash and burn, but instead decided to believe in and support her. All of them were her reason; all of them were her strength. As she stood pondering that, all of the other volunteers had already started circling the room trying to initiate small talk with one girl or another. Even Tom and Sybil, who could have easily not bothered to do so, were already chatting with a petite girl with dirty blonde hair.

Mary emerged from her trance and looked around the room, trying to spot a girl in her section who wasn't already talking with a volunteer. She gave thought for a minute to joining Sybil and Tom, but then decided that would seem too easy and pathetic in Mrs. Crawley's eyes. Mary took a deep breath and tried to put her prideful thoughts aside. That's when she saw her... A girl with curly blonde hair, who hadn't bothered to come and listen to all of the volunteer introductions, was sitting alone on the balcony with her head resting on her curled-up knees and her gaze focusing on the white steel fence. Without second-guessing herself, Mary walked nervously towards the girl. When she took a seat right across from her, she was greeted by a stern, insolent stare that seemed awfully familiar. Mary was not scared off at all by the stuck-up teenager, and refused to give her exactly what she wanted: attention.

"Listen kid," Mary began, followed by the girl's annoyed sigh, "you don't want to talk to me and I couldn't care less about your crap," she continued, stirring the blonde's instant curiosity. "So let's do each other a huge favour. I won't bother you and you won't have a hysterical episode. Are we cool?" Mary finished challenging her opponent.

The girl blew some air to push one of her impossible curls off of her forehead. She tried to stare down Mary for a few more minutes, but then replied, "With one condition… You give me a cigarette."

Mary looked her straight in the eye but couldn't control her chuckle. "Nice try."

"What?" the blonde replied with incredible swagger. "Aren't you afraid I'm going to scream?"

"Aren't you afraid your teeth are going to turn yellow, that your lungs will be completely ruined and your hair will get incredibly stinky?"

"What? You want me to believe you haven't tried a lot worse?"

"I beg your pardon?" Mary replied instantly, not following the sudden turn in their exchange.

"I know who you are," the blonde girl stated matter-of-factly, "I remember you from the tabloids; you are Mary _something_. You have one of those faces …"

Initially Mary was a little taken aback by the girl's assertion. It certainly hurt a lot to be associated only with past terrible behaviour and nothing positive. "Well," she began weakly at first, but gaining confidence quickly, "Congratulations … You read a lot of crappy stuff." Mary simply said, and the girl's grin matched her own. "So smart ass, do you have a name?"

"Rose," she replied and her smile reflected in her intelligent brown eyes. "I would tell you my last name, but I don't want to get Mrs. Crawley even more worked up that she already is."

Mary could not contain her giggles; this girl Rose wasn't so bad after all. "What brought you to this awful place?" she asked sympathetically, a small smile on her lips.

"Well, for me I'd say it's pretty much the usual: alcohol, drugs and really dreadful taste in men." Rose's description instantly twisted Mary's gut. It was exactly as she had feared, not even one hour in the place and she had already found a younger, less tamed version of her past self. "But there's all kinds of girls in here." Rose kept going, her gaze travelling over the girls from their section. "Daisy over there has suffered severe depression, whereas Ivy is bipolar and she's seriously scary when she loses her shit," she explained, and pointed her index finger at a girl with flaming red hair, "That is Ethel, she had a baby boy at sixteen and she completely lost it when they took him away from her. And last but not least, that is Edna."

"Oh," Mary intervened, "She's talking to my sister and her boyfriend."

Rose grinned, "Well you'd better warn your sister then, because Edna is a nympho and she's totally checking him out." Mary laughed but did not reply. She remembered Jealous Sybil very well, and it was safe to say that Edna had better keep her hands to herself if she held her life dear. "Great," Rose exclaimed suddenly, causing Mary to look at her quizzically. "It's Mrs. Crawley; she's staring at me … _again._"

Mary turned her head to also witness Isobel's pensive expression. "If it is of any consolation, it's probably me that she's looking at right now. The woman hates me," Mary confessed.

"Oh really?" Rose responded, curious and amused.

Mary was about to give Rose some scoop on her troubled history with Isobel, but froze instead. A large, pale hand on Isobel's shoulder, a smile, a peck on the cheek and a warm, unmistakable voice: "I'm sorry for the delay, Mother. Traffic was hell."

Mary's heart started racing wildly, her palms beginning to sweat, and it was such a strange feeling because it seemed that her body had known, before her mind did, who had just walked through the door. Mary couldn't, _wouldn't_ believe this was really happening, but when her terrified brown eyes met his ever-so-blue ones, she couldn't pretend this wasn't real. She instantaneously turned away, awkwardly, but the temptation to get another glimpse of him was too strong. She noticed how Matthew's pupils dilated when he saw her. Mary did not know how to feel. She had boxed away her feelings about him somewhere in a terribly confused part of her brain that she was not supposed to visit again. It was impossible; he couldn't be here now. He should have been out of her life for good. _Who gave him the permission to—_

"Do you know Mrs. Crawley's son?" Rose asked, intrigued by Mary's sudden interest elsewhere.

"I—ehm … We used to go to school together," Mary managed to say, now finding it almost impossible to keep her eyes on Rose and Rose alone.

"I don't know him that well, but the girls who have been here longer are crazy about him."

"Are they?" Mary echoed the blonde. _Of course they are; the whole world is crazy about Matthew Crawley._

"Can I ask you something?" Rose interrupted her bitter thoughts.

"Sure." Mary replied. _Oh yes, please! Anything to take her mind off him._

"How was he?" Rose asked simply with near naiveté.

"Who?" Mary asked, fully turning to Rose with a puzzled expression.

"That Turkish actor, Pamuk. I want to know how he was in the sack."

Mary grinned at Rose's audacity, "He was fine, I guess."

"Fine?!" Rose protested through Mary's chuckles, "You shagged one of the world's most desirable men and _'fine' _is all you have to say about him?"

"I'm not saying he was bad, just … I've had better."

"Like Mr. Crawley over there... am I right?" Rose asked plainly while wearing a huge wry grin.

Mary stopped laughing instantly, and the colour of her cheeks came to match the red of her silk blouse. "Wait … _What?!_" she blurted out uncontrollably.

"Oh _please_ …" Rose replied with an all-knowing look. "You've been eye-fucking each other ever since he came in …"

Mary readjusted herself on her chair and tried to settle on a firm expression despite Rose's laughter. "Even if we were doing what you say, how can you be sure we've— _you know _…"

"Because, my dear Mary, yours is not just simple eye-fucking." Rose proclaimed proudly, while Mary wished she would stop using that verb. "You do want to rip each other's clothes off, but it looks like you know _exactly_ where you want to put your hands." The blonde finished presenting her theory. Seeing as Mary wouldn't reply, Rose decided to push her even more. "So, how is _he_ in the sack?" she asked, thoroughly amused by Mary's grumpy face. "I only wanted to know because … well, I'd totally tap that."

Mary couldn't help herself from shooting daggers at the girl, "I thought Edna was the nympho in here!"

After Mary's last statement, Rose busted out laughing and it wasn't long until Mary joined her. "So Mrs. Crawley hates you because you shagged her precious Mama's boy?"

"_Oh God_ – no! She would hate me even more if she knew!" Mary replied and immediately cursed herself as she had just confirmed to Rose that, yes indeed, she had slept with Matthew.

Rose smiled sincerely under her victorious grin and asked, "Then what is it that you did?"

And so Mary started to tell Rose numerous tales of her and Matthew's childhood and how she had made his life a living hell, gaining the unforgiving contempt of one Isobel Crawley. The more Mary talked, the louder Rose would laugh and time passed so quickly that it wasn't long before they heard the annoying ring of a bell summoning the girls for lunch. Rose said goodbye to Mary and quickly followed the others, while all of the volunteers were instructed to follow the nurses into the other room. Both Anna and Sybil approached Mary to quietly check on her but were promptly distracted by the nurses passing around a form to be completed. From what Mary gathered, the volunteers only had to state whether they had any hidden talents that might come in handy. They could then leave for the day. Tomorrow they all would find out what particular boring "occupations" had been assigned to them for the month. That is, if a volunteer wasn't been scared off - like a lot of the college students had been.

Once she and Anna were done with their applications, Mary tried to contain her laughter while Sybil talked about how weirdly clingy Edna became to Tom in just those few hours. They were about to decide where to have lunch in the village when, to Mary's greatest surprise, they saw Isobel approaching them.

"I would like to speak to you in my office, if it's not too much trouble." Isobel said and both Mary and Anna nodded. "Oh, no. I meant Mary, I need to speak with only Mary," she specified.

_Great, what had she done now? _Mary wondered, and since she was seriously terrified of being in a room alone with Mrs. Crawley, she hastened to say, "It's fine, Anna can come too." She shot Anna a complicit look.

"Alright, if you like." Isobel agreed, and led the way silently after giving a final goodbye and good luck to Sybil. When they reached her small office, Isobel entered first and then held the door open to let the girls in. Maybe Mary shouldn't have been surprised to find Matthew there, but all the same she couldn't help the goose bumps forming all over her body and feeling her heart race. She had almost forgotten how handsome he looked, standing so close.

Isobel waited for the girls to enter before closing the door, and she shot a warning glance to both Mary and Matthew. "Now, I hope I can't trust you two being in the same room without jumping at each other." She said sternly and Mary looked up to see Matthew grinning at her, but their eye contact was interrupted when Mary realized that Anna was about to burst into laughter. She managed to cover her giggle by coughing of course, but that did not stop Mary from giving her foot a small kick. "Mary, the reason you're here is because I want to talk about Rose."

"_Oh_," Mary sighed both surprised and relieved, "she's a nice girl."

"Well, I suppose she is …" Isobel continued doubtfully, "… but while she has made good progress with her health, she has regressed terribly when it comes to social interaction." Mary blinked rapidly while waiting for Isobel to go on. She still could not understand why she was standing there, the object of the Middle-Class Crawley Inquisition. "The point is," Isobel decided to continue with some effort, "Rose hasn't smiled or laughed since she's come here. Whatever you said to her this morning lifted her spirits as no one else has been able to do. We think your company might really be a positive for her."

"Look," Mary intervened before the conversation went any further, "This place is quite gloomy; I think Rose's reaction to it has been pretty normal. I would have surely been in the same state if I had spent a couple of weeks here too. She just needed a good laugh, that's all."

"Mary, Rose has been here six months." This time it was Matthew who had joined the conversation. Both the content of his words and the warm, steady voice in which he had spoken them were enough to shake Mary up.

"Look," Isobel spoke again, interrupting Matthew's and Mary's glances, "I can't say I'm entirely pleased with the idea, but we have something much more important at stake here, which is this young girl's wellbeing. We want you to interact with her and get her to smile and talk more, be more engaged with the other girls and their activities. But my Matthew here pointed out that maybe you were not expecting us to give you this kind of assignment, so he suggested we talk with you first before announcing the positions tomorrow morning. You won't have to worry because Matthew is going to be here for the rest of the summer, and I will put him in the same section as you." She explained, exchanging a glance with her son seated on her right.

"C—can I …" Mary muttered, unsure whether to be more flattered or scared by the prospect, "… can I at least think about it?"

"Well," Isobel started to complain, "it's not as though we have—"

"Of course you can," Matthew interrupted his mother and gave Mary a kind smile. "Sleep on it, and then tomorrow morning you can give my mother the answer."

Isobel didn't seem very pleased with that turn of events, but since Matthew had involved himself in the matter as well, there really wasn't a point in arguing over it. She trusted her son, and if he believed that Mary Crawley had a real shot at helping one of her girls, then she would have to give Mary a chance after all.

Mary and Anna wished mother and son a pleasant day, and then left the building to catch up with Sybil and Tom. Sybil could not contain her curiosity about the closed-door conversation, and Mary promised to relay all during lunch. They finally agreed on a restaurant that Tom had been suggesting for days. Sybil and Tom dashed to their car in the parking lot. Anna instructed Mary to wait for her to bring their car around, as it would otherwise be a long walk to their car with Mary's absurdly high heels. The brunette winced at her best friend and decided to check her iphone once Anna had left her completely alone.

"Mary?" she heard and turned her head automatically to the entrance door of the clinic. Matthew smiled when he saw her chocolate brown eyes land on his physique, and ran awkwardly towards her.

"Hi," they both said at the same time and chuckled nervously in unison. "I thought you went back to London." Matthew said, feeling just as tense as she did.

"I thought _you_ went back to London." Mary replied echoing his sentence.

"But_ I came back_." They both said once again at the same time.

An awkward silence followed and neither of them had the courage to look at the other directly. "So," Matthew began hesitantly at some point, "I guess Anna knows about … _us._"

Mary remembered how Anna had almost laughed uncontrollably after Isobel's statement back in the office, and felt truly ashamed of it. He was not supposed to have noticed that. "I'm sorry; she's my best friend and I—"

"Nonsense!" Matthew interrupted and Mary saw that he didn't look angry at all. On the contrary, he looked quite amused by the memory of Anna's episode. "I should have realized it before actually; she kept shooting daggers at me throughout the whole brunch last Sunday." _Had she? Anna was such a darling. _"Anyway, that's not why I came over," he informed her, " I just – I wanted to make sure that your decision about helping Rose won't be affected by the fact that I'm also going to be here for the rest of the summer … Mary, I am so s—"

"You're not going to apologize again, are you?" Mary interrupted him with an exasperated smile.

Matthew was taken aback by her reaction, "Not if you don't want me to …"

"Look," Mary began, adjusting her posture and tone of voice, "I can assure you once and for all that whatever my decision will be, it will have to do with me and me alone. But since you've mentioned it, I really want say that maybe it's best that we just forget all about what happened that night." Certainly Mary couldn't simply forget about the night that had completely turned her world upside down, but she didn't need Matthew to remind her about it every time he opened his mouth. "_Oh._" Matthew simply voiced, and for a moment Mary thought he seemed hurt by her proposal.

"I can see that it keeps making things uncomfortable between us," she explained, "and if we are to see each other every day, if we are to work together … Then I think it's best if we let bygones be bygones."

Matthew hesitated for a moment, but then straightened up and smiled, "Deal." He said and offered Mary his hand.

Mary shook it, but did not anticipate the jolt of electricity from the touch of his palm's smooth skin. "Will Lavinia be joining us soon?" she asked distractedly, with every intention to stop staring at his hand.

Matthew chuckled and shook his head, "Lavinia here? Not a chance…"

"I've read that she's into all kinds of charities; I thought this would be her element."

"She mostly organizes fundraisers to build schools in Africa or save some endangered animal species. I don't think she would actually enjoy working in the field … In fact, I think she would probably faint at the sight of a drop of blood or one of the girls vomiting." He laughed quietly, lost in his thoughts.

"Well, I do have some experience with vomit." Mary joked and made Matthew laugh harder. She chuckled as well and when she turned her head, she realized that Anna was waiting for her in the car not far from them. She decided to make her excuses to Matthew, informing him that she was probably late for her lunch date. As Matthew went back inside the clinic and Mary got into the passenger seat of Anna's car, she noticed her friend eyeing her naughtily. "Shut up and drive," Mary ordered and so Anna did, at least until they arrived at the restaurant.

* * *

Mary had been thinking the whole afternoon about that girl Rose and the opportunity to help her. Naturally Anna and Sybil had advised her to do it, but in the end they told her it had to be something Mary really wanted to do, otherwise she wouldn't be of any help at all. With these thoughts in mind, Mary got herself ready to meet Edith and go help Sybil at Dower House with all of the packing. The elder Crawley sisters tried to dodge Granny's questions as much as possible, and when they were finally free, they ran upstairs to meet Sybil. Mary had been looking forward to spending these last few hours with her bubbly little sister, but she could not have expected to find her curled up beside her luggage trying to fight off the tears lining her cheeks.

"Sybil darling, what's wrong?" Edith asked at the sight of Sybil sobbing.

Sybil stood up at once. "Oh, I'm sorry. You were not supposed to see that."

"But we did," Mary pointed out, "What is it?" she asked offering a caring smile. It was strange to see Sybil, the Strong One, crying on her knees.

Sybil grabbed a tissue from the nightstand and sat up straight on the huge bed, drying her tears. "It's silly, really … But, – I don't know – tomorrow I'm leaving and I don't know why I thought that – somehow – our parents would try to make contact with us."

"Darling, I thought you didn't want them to know you were here!" Edith replied, and Mary watched their exchange carefully. She wanted to wait for Sybil to fully express herself before asking any questions, but she had to admit that Sybil's feelings didn't surprise her. Even though Sybil agreed with Mary in refusing their parents' patronizing efforts, she had never been fully keen on falling out completely.

"It's true!" Sybil backed herself up, "I didn't want them to know, but now—"

"Now it's different," Mary stated matter-of-factly, "now there's a baby on the way." Sybil looked at both sisters, so different from one another and nodded. Mary continued, ""Darling, if you want to tell them, you should. I don't want you to suffer by staying loyal to me. In fact, we can go and tell them together right now, if that's what you want!"

"No!" Sybil interjected, "That is not it! I don't want to let them know about it, I want them to _want _to know about it!" Her last admission left both Edith and Mary equally perplexed. "Mary, we've been here for two whole weeks! People have _seen_ us, _Carson_ has seen you!"

"But you asked them all not to tell our parents, you asked _me_ not to tell our parents!"Edith protested.

"But it's not like they asked about us! Come on, if they cared even a tiny bit they would have found us already! You know, maybe I'm just being silly or it's the pregnancy hormones taking over, but … I see how wonderful Tom's mother has been since we told her, and … it breaks my heart to know that my child won't have a relationship with his other grandparents. I waited for them all of these weeks, but it seems that I still have more faith in them than they deserve."

"I can tell them," Edith insisted, "I can make it all better, I promise! They'll come around, I'm sur—"

"Edith, leave it." Mary interrupted her. "This is not what she wants. There is nothing we can do," she voiced and exchanged a sad smile with her youngest sister before reaching her on the bed for a hug.

"I'm sorry I snapped," Sybil offered later that evening. "I always look like I have everything under control, but sometimes even I need a little help. Thank God _I have you_."

Mary gently caressed Sybil's soft locks and realized how her sister's words had struck more than one chord. Even someone as strong-minded and independent as Sybil needs someone to lean on at times. _Everybody needs a little help sometimes, _Mary remembered Carson saying to her as a little girl when she had fallen off the swing and refused any help because of the shame. She had learned her lesson over the years and understood perfectly well now that asking for help is not always a sign of weakness. What she had never contemplated was how incredibly lucky she has always been to have had someone to fall back on; to have people that she could always count on. People who knew exactly what she needed even before she did; people who she never needed to ask. Rose did not have that. Well, she certainly had Mrs. Crawley but it didn't seem like that was helping much. Mary's doubts and fears, however, revolved mostly around her own self rather than Rose. How could she be of help to another when she wasn't even sure that she was fine herself? It struck her that out of everyone in the clinic, Rose had decided to put her unconscious faith in someone as messed up as she was. But in the end it was not about Mary; it is about Rose, and she is so young and certainly deserving of a second chance at life. Out of everyone, Mary is certainly the last person in the world entitled to deny her that chance, isn't she?


	7. The Necessary Outing Complication

**A/N: **_Alright, I'll just take a moment to clarify a couple of things so that I can make the story a little bit more comprehensible. As for Mary and Matthew you'll have to keep reading and I hope what I want to portray will turn out on paper; but for example Lavinia in my story is a little bit out of character on purpose, she loves Matthew dearly and she means well, but she's not exactly as willing to let him go as in canon, you'll see what I mean. As for other characters in the future (for the purpose of the story), Lavinia's father will feel out of character as well even if we've never really met him in canon, and to some extent so will Robert. _

_Onto other details: Matthew is not working for Lavinia's father yet. I'm aware it maybe didn't come up from the story, but basically he has just left his old firm and the partnership with Swire and Company has just been announced, he is supposed to start right after his honeymoon. As for the wedding plans, I know it's extremely surreal and I'm taking full creative licence on this … I know five weeks before the wedding you should have everything ready, but I took the liberty of having Lavinia so fixed on Downton that she still hadn't decided!_

_Thank you so much for your continued support for this story and also for the Lawyer from Manchester. I'm glad you still care about that as well, and I promise you I will come back to it. I have the first half of the next chapter already written, and it surely will be the next thing I'll tackle after this chapter._

_This chapter isn't proofread now (sorry), but it will be soon, so thanks to my beta __**jmu.**__ And thank you guys for nominating me for the Highclere Awards, it really means a lot!_

**Chapter Seven: The Necessary Outing Complication**

Matthew stretched his tired arms up in the air and closed the bedroom's door behind his back, after grabbing his wallet reluctantly. He ran down the stairs quite automatically but before he went into the kitchen to placate his growling stomach, he was unexpectedly distracted by the huge amount of frippery which he had never seen before, that now occupied the hall and part of the drawing room.

"What is all of that useless stuff? Did you rob a department store?" he asked his mother in confusion, after having grabbed a piece of toasted bread.

"You mean _your _useless stuff." Isobel pointed out, amused by her son's obliviousness. "Those are your wedding presents, and there's more to come apparently." She informed him, as she noticed his wary expression, "How come you don't recognize it? It's mostly everything from your wedding list."

"Oh," Matthew voiced with his gaze lost in the empty space, "Lavinia took care of all of that."

"I see," Isobel replied, trying to read something into his cryptic expression, " She has a plan for everything, doesn't she?" she concluded with a smile, trying to cheer him up.

"Y—yes …" Matthew muttered overwhelmed, " … yes she does."

_Plans._ Yes it was true, they had _planned_ everything nearly to perfection. Matthew looked up to her mother and recognized the same concerned expression he had seen when he had first told her about his and Lavinia's engagement. He remembered how stubborn he had been at the time, even though his mother had only tried to understand.

What had really sent Matthew on edge at the time was the accusation of not having put enough thought into this. Why did his mother doubted him so much? Did she no longer have faith in him? Everything could have been said about Matthew's character: he was stubborn, maybe pretentious at times; when someone crossed him, he might get his pride over his head before allowing himself to forgive; but one thing was absolutely sure about him: he did not do anything without planning.

It was something that had sticked with him ever since his father had died ten years before. After going through that horrible last year of high school, Matthew had learnt a great lesson: _life is short_. It was a commonplace, he was aware of that, but it had never really hit him until after his father was gone. There were so many things he had wanted to say to him, so many things he had wanted to do, so many experiences he had wanted to share with him. But those times could not come back, and Matthew had vowed to himself that he would have never let another chance of regret ever cross his path again.

He started to plan everything. Every single detail of his future life, from the most trivial to the most defining. He had a very clear vision of his future, he would have _everything_: a successful profession, a wife, _a family_. He worked hard for everything he wanted, and after a while his efforts had started to repay him. He had graduated with honours from Cambridge, he had passed his lawyer's exams and had started working right away. But it was in the past year that everything had seemed to fit like a picture perfect puzzle: he had been approached by one of the most prestigious law firm in the whole of London, and had met Lavinia shortly after.

Matthew had been so compelled by how perfectly his life had come to match his dreams, that he convinced himself that that must have been how it was supposed to be. He was twenty-eight, he had been offered the job of his dreams and he was dating a lovely girl who he got along incredibly well. The development of such situation seemed natural and when Reggie Swire, his soon to be father-in-law, had suggested he hurried up and start a life with his daughter as both his son and his right hand, Matthew had thought it was the most sensible thing to do.

Yes, it was sudden ( Matthew knew this was what his mother was thinking), but no one could have said there hadn't been too much planning into it. They were both successful, they got along utterly well, they were young but not too young. Many more people married with far less and at a younger age, there was absolutely no reason to delay it even further. That was _it_.

Matthew had happily carried on with that argument in mind until, in a cruel twist of fate, one of his extremely well-prepared plans had completely backfired him. His visit to Downton was supposed to be liberating, it was supposed to free him from everything and everyone who had been standing between him and his future, but instead it had opened old wounds and made everything so blurry. The first thing he had felt after the night he had shared with Mary was shame. Shame for having betrayed Lavinia's trust, Mary's faith and lastly his own sense of morality. He had decided right away that feeling that shame wouldn't have helped, and he had boxed away everything about that night so that he wouldn't allow himself to feel anything that he hadn't strictly planned. But when he had looked up to see Lavinia standing before him on his front door that sunday, Matthew could not prevent the extreme sense of guilt that had rushed all over his body.

He decided that he had to tell her. He was rational enough to recognize that if he was to keep something like this from her, their marriage, their future, their _plans_, would have been severely affected. But when he had gathered his courage to tell her, when he had come up with the words to try to explain that selfless act (which he still failed to understand), Lavinia had stopped him right away, almost sensing whatever was going to come.

"I love you Matthew," she had whispered with conviction, clinging desperately to her grip on his arm, "and I wanted to marry you from the first moment that I saw you". Her words had been final, but for Matthew it had only just been the beginning. Being denied the chance to admit his faults and beg for forgiveness, realizing that Lavinia would have had him at any condition had only increased his guilt. He felt like he was going mad, and every day was worst than the one before.

And then there was Mary. The girl he had idolized when he was still boy, the fragile person he had selflessly used, the strong woman who had dived into her position in the Clinic so brilliantly. When Lavinia had refused to even talk about it, Matthew had started to become almost obsessed by it. And the more he thought about it, the more he began to explore in his mind the ramifications of his actions. There weren't only him and Lavinia involved, there was also Mary. He had hurt her as well, even if in that moment that was not at all his intention. That was why when he had had the chance to see her again, he had wanted to scream he was sorry, to beg for her forgiveness as well. But Mary wouldn't have it. It had almost become a game instead. Every time he was about to apologize even for the smallest thing, she would frown and mock him to no ends.

What Mary didn't know was that the reason Matthew had been so adamant about his apologies was that in his whole life he had never done something without over thinking it. He would have lied bluntly to himself if he had denied feeling an attraction for her, he had felt it since the first night at the hotel. But he would have never, in his right mind, indulged it because he respected her, just as he respected Lavinia. He had been able to decline her blunt and attractive advances in their first encounter, but when she had kissed him the night of the dance he had lost completely any control over himself. He had abandoned any sense of moral he had left, only to get lost in Mary's scent and he still had trouble rationalizing it.

That night had turned his world upside down and as the weeks went by, Matthew had seriously begun to question the the foundations of his well-thought plans. How could everything and everyone could go on as nothing had happened, when to him it felt like everything had changed? How could Lavinia say nothing about it? How could she dismiss their problems so deliberately?

But as he wasn't feeling irretrievably mad already, there was something else which had left him completely numb. Lavinia had called excited just a few days before to inform him that there had been finally an opening at Downton Abbey. They were going to have their wedding reception there in less than three weeks.

This could only have meant that Mary had really spoken with her grandmother about their wedding. Matthew didn't quite know how to take that information. During _that_ sunday in an awful moment of self indulgence, Matthew had believed Mary would have done anything to prevent them from marrying at the Abbey, but that was not how it had gone. Mary had talked to her grandmother and she had asked him to forget that night had ever happened.

It had been in that precise moment that everything had hit him so heavily all at once. He was the only one whose world had been turned upside down. He was the only one who had felt time stand still and the earth stopping below his feet as he had made love to her. In the grip of madness he realized that that dangerous unplanned night had possibly been the best one of his life. Nothing he could have ever planned would have made him feel the way he did. Could his plans still stand after all he had realized?

Matthew was ready to question them, but apparently both Lavinia and Mary disagreed. They had made their positions really clear and were more than determined to go on like nothing had really happened. So if he was the only one to see it, if there no more reasons, was it really worth to ruin everything he had ever worked for?

"Darling, are you going straight to the clinic?" Isobel asked suddenly, breaking his train of thought. Matthew blinked furiously and nodded in response. "Then don't forget your lunch!"

* * *

Mary told herself it was best not to laugh, but Rose's face in that moment was just priceless. She was staring at the preciously bound volumes on the table like they were aliens from outer space.

"When you told me you had something for me, I thought perhaps you were giving me some really expensive knick-knack, not a bunch of archaeological from the last century."

Mary grinned at the girl's sharp tongue, that morning Rose was particularly witty. "Forgive me if I thought you should read something more compelling than those crappy tabloids of yours!"

"What is more compelling than famous people hitting rock bottom on the front page?"

Mary shot daggers at her, knowing that Rose actually meant no harm towards her. "Fictional characters have way more exciting lives, I assure you." Mary proclaimed as Rose lifted one of her blonde eyebrows. "See this one?" she said handing one volume to the blonde, "It's about a russian woman who has a steamy affair with a charming young officer," Mary cried, and as she noticed Rose's interest picking, she went on describing the plots of the novels she was lending her. Behind them Matthew was cleaning the storage closet, and even if he was close enough to be admired , he couldn't really hear anything they were saying.

"What is this one about?" Rose asked her at some point, showing Mary the cover of one of the book.

Mary chuckled and asked quite shocked, "You don't know Pride and Prejudice? You must have seen the film at least!"

"I don't know," Rose began, "maybe I've seen the porno." she offered, receiving a friendly smack. "I'm joking!" she defended herself from Mary's stern look, but her attention was brought elsewhere when she noticed Mary's gaze wonder off again. "The real question is," she began with a wry grin, "how come you two are not doing it inside that closet right now?"

"ROSE!" Mary scolded her, not realizing the high pitch her voice had taken.

"It's not my fault you've been staring at his butt the whole time." Rose replied lifting her shoulders.

"How many times have I told you to stop fantasising about this? It's not gonna happen!" Mary insisted, feeling her own exasperation in her voice.

"I'm sorry but I won't quit my obvious remarks until you've given me a good reason why you shouldn't make babies with that man."

Mary sighed loudly and avoided Rose's stare on purpose. It wasn't something she was proud of, but she had decided not to tell her Matthew was getting married. It was silly, and she knew it, but she saw how that girl looked at her with admiration, and she simply couldn't bring herself to tell her she had been with an almost married man. This time it wasn't even her fault, but she simply couldn't do it. While she was trying to formulate yet another excuse to shut Rose's mouth for a couple of hours at least, Mary was unexpectedly saved by the very person who had got her in trouble in the first place.

"Mary? Rose?" Matthew called them from the closet, interrupting their heated argument, "Can you come here and help me get this box down? It's stuck, and I can't free it alone."

"We're coming!" Mary assured him and glance warningly in Rose's direction, "Please take good care of those copies," she said before standing up, "they really mean a lot to me". Sensing no playfulness in her tone, Rose made no complaints and gently shoved the copies in her personal locker in the morning room.

When both girls reached Matthew in the closet, they found him standing on the old scale with a precarious balance, trying to hold what looked like a very heavy box. "Can you help me hold this?" he asked realizing they had entered the tiny room, "I'm just about getting it out, I only need to remove this—" he muttered, and just as he was completing his sentence the box forked out suddenly. The three of them jumped in unison to catch it, while a white round ball flew over their heads landing and bouncing on the floor. "This must be what had the box stuck!" Matthew stated obviously, as Mary helped him placing the box on the floor.

"It's a volleyball!" Rose cried and and bounced it playfully to herself, before throwing it in Mary's direction. To her greatest surprise Mary responded quite instantly and they had started a small little game between them, with Matthew right in the middle trying to make sense of the mess inhabiting the closet.

"I thought you weren't supposed to indulge her!" Matthew blabbed grumpily at Mary, shooting a glance in Rose's direction.

"Don't be a spoil sport, this is fun!" Mary replied amused, deciding to throw the ball in his direction just for the pleasure to bug him.

"Alright," Matthew replied firmly, grabbing the ball with both of his hands. "but if we're going to do this, we have to do it properly," he proclaimed under the girls' puzzled look. "You gather round your team and I'll gather mine. We'll see each other in the garden!" he challenged them and walked out with a boyish grin.

When they all reached the other girls of their sections, both Matthew and Mary tried their best to get them interested in their little volleyball match, and even if Matthew had quickly caught the attention of girls like Edna, Mary had been able to convince both Daisy and Ivy to join her and Rose. Girls and volunteers from the other sections had started to gather in the clinic's garden around the quickly arranged court, and Mary and their girls had quickly gone to change into something more comfortable to play.

"Well," Rose began putting one arm around Mary's secretively, "I guess it wasn't such a bad idea if you get to see Mr Crawley in those biker shorts!"

Mary blushed unconsciously, but quickly realized the imperativeness of putting all of this to rest. "Rose, I thought I had made myself clear. Matthew and I are adults, this is not a game. We are working here, and to help you girls as a matter of fact, so I would like for you to stop saying those things."

Rose felt instantly interdicted by the seriousness in Mary's eyes, "I'm sorry," she whispered, "I truly meant no harm."

"I know you didn't," Mary reassured her quickly, offering a comforting smile, "I know you mean well, but please just … promise me."

"Alright," Rose voiced and paused for a few moments, glancing at Matthew and then at Mary, "I promise I won't _say_ anything else." she declared and Mary looked at her fondly.

"Thank you."

The volleyball match had created an unexpectedly cheerful atmosphere all around the place, and the girls had seemed to embrace the new activity completely. It had stimulated their competitive spirit and it had all in all been a positive experience. Mary however would have been much happier of the turn out, if Matthew's team hadn't crushed them so badly. It was quite embarrassing, and evidently Rose had felt the same way because throughout the end of their inevitable demise, she had decided to spike violently the volleyball on Matthew's face.

They had all decided it had been an understandable mistake, but Mary knew better. Deciding she would have to work a little more to tame the consequences of Rose's competitiveness, Mary walked the girls to the dining hall for their lunch and asked one of the kitchen clerks to get her an ice pack. Matthew was waiting for her sitting on a bench in the garden and when Mary arrived with the ice pack, he thanked her and tried to do his best put it on the bluish bruise he could not see.

"Here, let me." Mary offered and placed the ice pack firmly on the small bruise around his right eye. Matthew groaned softly for the pain and shut his eyes instinctively, and when he opened them fully again, he found himself staring at Mary's analysing expression on his bruise. "I wonder what Lavinia will say about it when she sees this." Mary voiced absentmindedly and blushing consequently when she realized she had brought up a dangerous topic.

Her words felt like a punch in Matthew's gut, but he knew that if he didn't reply right away things would get irretrievably awkward, "I'm hoping it goes away before we see each other."

"Oh," Mary failed to hide her surprise, "she's not here in Downton?"

"No, she staid in London." he informed her, "She has a lot of things to deal with before the wedding."

"That's odd," Mary ventured with no real caution, "I would imagine you wouldn't want to spend any time separate with the big day coming up …"

Matthew blinked, unsure if he had to read between the lines or if Mary was simply making a valid point. "I don't know," he chuckled nervously, "maybe we're just giving each other some space before we spend the rest of our lives together." Space, _really_? _Was he completely stupid? _Matthew felt the panic running through his veins and searched for something, _anything_ that would make that conversation a little less uncomfortable. "On that matter, I think I should thank you."

"Thank _me_?" Mary echoed, trying to sound as little shocked as she could.

"For speaking to your grandmother," he clarified, "We booked the Abbey, so I'm guessing your help was successful."

"Oh – sure – you're welcome I guess," she muttered, "I mean – this is what you wanted, _wasn't it_?" Mary hoped Matthew could not sense the tremble in her voice as she had spoken that last sentence. She had regretted it almost instantly, because now she had to endure Matthew's careful blue eyes on her which left her completely undone. In those few endless seconds none of them was able to speak, and Mary decided the most sensible thing to do was to break their gaze, and so she put down the ice pack and took a seat next to him on the bench, narrowly avoiding to look at his face again.

"I promise you we won't get married in your bedroom," Matthew offered breaking that awful silence, and Mary bursted into laughter finally relieving the tension between them.

"They had a blast out there, didn't they?" she said then, eyeing at their small volleyball court.

"They did," Matthew agreed with a smile, " we should do it more often."

"Maybe we should," Mary said, " But then again, they'll probably get bored of it in a couple of days." she realized and Matthew couldn't help nodding in agreement. "You know what we should do?" she cried suddenly capturing his attentive gaze, "We should take them out."

"_Out?_" Matthew echoed and blinked puzzled.

"Yes, out. Something simple like a pic-nick or take them to the movies … I'm sure it would do wonders to their spirits to get them out of here for a couple of hours. Do you – I mean, sorry … You think it's a bad idea."

"No no," Matthew stopped her before she would shut down the topic, "I was just thinking, but I think this is a great idea!"

"You think so?" She smiled with a hopeful look.

"I do, truly. That is why I think we should go tell my mother right after lunch!" Mary smiled at Matthew's encouraging enthusiasm, but couldn't help being a little scared by the mention of Mrs Crawley. "Don't worry," Matthew urged her, almost as if he had read her mind, " I'm sure she'll agree with me. To be honest, I think she will probably feel bad she hadn't had the idea herself!"

"Absolutely not." Isobel's firm words were almost instantly followed by Matthew's and Mary's shocked gasps.

"Why not?!" Mary replied not even trying to mask her disappointment.

"Do you even have to ask?" Isobel cried smugly, "It's risky to let them out and if I let your section do it, everybody else will want to do it as well!"

"But we'll keep an eye on them!" Mary protested, fully bothered by Isobel's stubbornness. "How do you expect them to be in a good mood, if you never let them out of this depressing place?!"

Isobel chuckled bitterly at Mary's impertinence, and shot her son a look that showed how she still thought the whole situation was not a good idea. "Nobody has forced you to start working in this _depressing place_!" she replied cockily, feeling Matthew's exasperated gaze on her, "You have only been here a week and a half and you already think you know what's best for them!"

"I'm sorry," Mary cried before Matthew could intervene, "I never meant to insult your efforts on making these girls better and all the work that goes on in this place. But I know what goes on into a girl's mind in these conditions, and I assure you this place must feel like a prison to them! If you let them out and breathe, you'll only gain their trust and the transition to their well-being will be far more smooth!"

"This is just ...ugh!" Isobel sighed, obviously not thrilled to have been put in her place. She turned her head to search for her son's support, but he found him looking extremely proudly at Mary.

"Mother, I think Mary is right." he said, sharing an hopeful smile with his accomplice.

"And what will this outing consist of? Let's hear it."

"We were thinking of taking them to the movies tomorrow night." Matthew informed her, sensing his mother was finally giving up. "It's a thursday night, so it will be really quiet. I take full responsibility!"

"As do I!" Mary cried and nodded excitedly.

Isobel looked at the two of them and tried to hold her strict gaze still for a while until she asked, "and you're positive nothing bad will happen to them?"

"Absolutely."

* * *

Mary was enthusiastic to have finally had her way despite Isobel's continuous doubts. She knew of course that her success had to be shared with Matthew, whom probably her mother had never been able to say no. But it didn't matter.

When she entered the clinic's minivan and looked at the five girl's ecstatic faces on thursday night, she was finally able to admit to herself how good it felt. She was not exactly ready to say it out loud, but she realized she had never felt so good with herself like she had in the past two weeks. Being able to bring a smile upon those faces, to lend a hand to them and try to understand without judgement had finally made her feel like she did matter, like … she had a purpose.

She turned her gaze on the driver's seat again and watched silently as an outsider how Matthew was laughing uncontrollably as the girls teased him for his choice of music on the radio. Mary smiled fondly at the scene and allowed herself not to feel bad when she looked at him.

Keep wondering about his character and his choices still couldn't cloud Mary's judgement in admitting that whatever had happened, Matthew was still a great part of those wonderfully revealing two weeks. She obviously still wondered why her heart ached every time she remembered he was getting married in roughly two weeks, but if there was something this whole experience had thought her was that she had to start counting her blessings. All that mattered at the moment was that they had had a chance to know each other better and do some real good for these girls; maybe this was a way to make amends, maybe in time that little ache would go away.

"You girls are so lucky they've opened up this multiplex in town!" Matthew cried while following meticulously the directions to the parking lot. "There wasn't anything like it when Mary and I were your age!"

"That's true!" Mary agreed, turning her head completely to the backseats, "There was only one cinema which screened only terribly boring auteur films. My friends and I had to go all the way to York to catch a decent chick flick!"

"Sure," Rose intervened in a sharp tone, "We should feel lucky our parents locked us up in a small town's loony house, but then again … there's a multiplex!"

Mary shot Rose a warning glance, she was not going to let her ruin it for the others, "But you are not inside the loony house right now, are you?" she replied in an equally sharp tone, earning one of Rose's amused looks.

"C'mon Rose, cheer up!" Matthew urged her cheerfully as he pulled over, "Tell you what, we're going to let _you_ choose the movie!" he proposed, and as all seven of them went out of the car, Rose seemed to accept their conditions.

After having purchased the tickets, Matthew urged them to go and find their seats as he went to buy popcorn for everyone, and Mary ardently hoped Rose hadn't got any strange ideas and chosen a sappy romantic film to prove a certain point. The six girls entered the selected room and took a seat in the long central line; but when Matthew appeared on the doorway loaded with huge bags of treats, Rose made sure to put all of the girls' purses on the free seat so that Matthew was forced to go all the way around and seat beside Mary.

Fearing all of her suspicions were turning out to be true, Mary watched carefully as the titles ran on the big screen and was sincerely surprised when the movie opened with a detective finding a young girl's body. It certainly looked nothing like a romance, unless the girl decided to come back from the dead and declare her endless love for her avenger; with what kids liked these day, you simply couldn't be sure.

"Do you know what is it about?" she asked Matthew curiously, stealing a handful of popcorn from his bag.

Matthew grinned and replied naively, "Not a clue. I let Rose choose whatever she wanted."

_Super, how clever of him_! And he was the one with the Cambridge degree? Mary sighed and shot a last suspicious glance in Rose's direction, before fixing her eyes on the screen.

The film turned out to be the opposite of a romance or a comedy, for a while Mary had thought (and hoped) it was some kind of thriller, but after the third body in less than half an hour it was clear they were watching a hideously graphic horror movie. Mary mentally cursed against Rose while being glued to her seat in terror for the first half. But before the senseless plot would give them a break with the intermission, they managed to show the most gruesome murder scene one could ever conceive. Mary bit her lip as she let out a little frustrated scream, and without even realizing it she clung strongly to one of Matthew's arm, while covering her eye with the other hand.

Out of an instinctual sense of protectiveness, Matthew welcomed her in his arms and caressed her arm gently to make sure she was alright. When Mary realized what she had just done, she felt her heart racing uncontrollably and cursed herself for how good the touch of his hand on her bare skin made her feel. She silently thanked the darkness for hiding her blush, but when she looked up the intermission was announced and she was left to face his disarming blue eyes staring deeply into her soul.

For a moment Mary even thought she had forgotten her own name, for how powerfully the rush of emotions had clouded her mind. In that instant it was like the whole world had disappeared,and every noise surrounding them had just become muffled. In that spot with her there was only Matthew, and more precisely only his eyes and his lips, nothing else seemed to deserve enough attention. She felt the exact same need she had felt weeks ago in the barn in the woods, the need she had only been able to placate by kissing him.

Matthew's eyes were staring back at her with the same intensity, but the spell was broken when they suddenly seemed distracted by something above Mary's head. She realized quickly how foolish she had been to have thought about him that way again, but her self-scolding would have had to wait because when she turned her head as well, she realized what had made Matthew break their gaze so suddenly. The five girls who had been sitting right next to them were gone.

They hadn't left anything that could have suggested their next destination, and after cursing themselves loudly for having been so careless and stupid, both Matthew and Mary decided it was best to leave the theatre and start by looking around there, they couldn't have gone far.

"They took a cab!" Matthew informed Mary, once he had reached her by the car, "The man from the ticket office told me he called a cab for them!"

"_Oh my god_!" Mary gasped, pacing nervously back and fourth along the white minivan, "This is all my fault! Something serious could happen to them, and it is all my fault! How could I be so stupid!"

"Mary please, calm down!" Matthew cried as well, trying to put a stop at her nervous pacing, "Panicking won't do us any good! We have to take a deep breath and try to think rationally of where they could have gone." Mary decided to take his advice and took a deep breath, nodding frantically to his words, "If I were a teenage girl with a tendency to give into drugs and alcohol, looking for a good time in Downton, where would I go?"

Mary let her tension go, until a realization hit her, "There's only one or two places she could be."

"Perfect!" Matthew praised her, encouraging her to feel more relieved, "We'd better hurry up and find them!" he cried and urged her to get into the car.

The first place they drove to turned out to have been closed in five years, so when Matthew started the ignition to drive to the other club she remembered, Mary hoped fervently the night life in Downton hadn't evolved much and that that was still considered the 'coolest' place in town.

The entrance of the questionable club was located in a dark alley in the worst part of town (yes, even Downton had a bad part) and after Matthew had parked the van, Mary guided him to the right side street and through the crowd waiting in line. They searched carefully for them in the queue, but if the girls were there they had to be already inside. They jumped the line to reach the bouncer at the entrance, receiving more than a few complaints by the crowd behind them.

"Excuse me, sir" Matthew began capturing the attention of the stocky man, "We only need a minute inside to find someone, can you please let us in?" he asked politely, maybe too politely given the setting.

"I'm sorry, bloke. If I had a penny for every time someone used that excuse, I'd be rich by now." The man replied matter-of-factly, eyeing Matthew carefully, "And if I may say … You seem like a really nice fellow, don't waste your time running after minors … "

Before Matthew had the chance to reply to the bouncer's assumptions, Mary emerged from behind his shoulders and showed off a charming smile to the man, "Hi, Leroy!"

" L—Lady Mary!" the man gasped in surprise, almost choking on his own words.

"I know it's odd, but he's telling the truth. He's with me and we need to find a couple of girls in there."

"My apologies, but – of course – you don't even need to ask! It's nice to see you again!" Leroy replied quickly and awkwardly managed to pull up the red cord which stood in the way of the entrance.

"Someone who knows your father?" Matthew asked naively, as they finally made their way inside the busy club.

"Oh, no!" Mary replied with a chuckle, "Leroy knows me for me!" she said and quickly gave a look around the packed place hoping to spot the girls as soon as possible. She turned around to glance at Matthew briefly and as she noticed his pained expression, she remembered his words from the night of the dance '_To me that is not dancing. That is one of the outer circles of Dante's Inferno.' _She chuckled at the memory of how sassy he had sounded back then; and as her mind was brought back to that night once again her eyes spotted quite mindlessly Rose, who was dancing let's just say … _inappropriately, _with a guy who looked totally wasted.

"Rose!" Mary cried capturing Matthew's attention. The girl heard her name, and after showing a very disappointed expression, she reached the spot where Mary and Matthew were standing. "What the hell were you thinking?!" Mary cried angrily, showing the great worry in her voice.

"Mary's right! How could you betray our trust like that!" Matthew joined the conversation.

"Oh, I'm sorry _Mom and Dad!_" she said theatrically, waving her hands up in the air.

"Are these your parents?!" Rose's drunk companion interjected as Mary rolled her eyes, " Your mom_is hot_!" he commented, looking lasciviously in Mary'd direction.

"Listen to me," Matthew intervened before anyone else could reply, "You lay a hand on _either_ of them and I break your neck!" both girls turned instantly to look at him in shock. Neither of them had ever heard him sounding so angry. When the drunk man nodded and mumbled incoherently before going away, Matthew turned his head towards Mary and said, "You stay with her, I'll go look for the others."

Mary nodded quickly and when she turned her gaze towards Rose once again, she found her staring with a guilty expression. "How could you do this to me?" Mary expressed frankly, "I've done nothing but believing in you, standing up for you and this is how you repay me? Why did you do it?"

"I'm sorry Mary, really … I— I don't know, _he _called and I saw the opportunity—" she muttered messily.

"And you risked everything for _that _guy?! I don't understand, you said he's a lowlife yourself!"

"Maybe there was another reason …"

"Which is?"

"If I tell you, please promise me you won't get mad." Rose said, studying Mary's gaze, "You have to know I only meant well." she paused for a moment and waited for Mary to nod, " I—I saw how great you looked together tonight, how … _natural_. You looked so cozy with one another in that cinema, I thought that maybe if we left you alone …"

"_Rose,_" Mary cried exasperated, "I thought you promised me you were going to drop this."

"I promised you I wasn't gonna _say_ anything about it anymore, I never say I wouldn't have _done_ something about it." she specified.

"And it never occurred to you that by doing this you might have endangered the others, didn't it?"

"I—I was going to keep an eye on them, but when we got here … I lost them in the matter of seconds. Please, say you'll forgive me! I couldn't bare having mad at me!" she begged her, but Mary's gaze did not soften.

Mary had thought she had been doing a pretty good job with Rose in the past weeks, but in that moment the realization had hit her. Yes, Rose valued her presence and her friendship dearly, but she didn't see Mary as anything more than an equal, a friend. For how positively she thought of her, she did not recognize her as an authority figure and that had to be put to a stop. She didn't want to turn into Mrs Crawley, but she knew that if Rose did not see her as a superior who knew what was best for her, than she wouldn't have helped her at all.

Thankfully Matthew had found everyone unharmed, and strangely enough none of them beside Rose (in a small part) had assumed any alcohol at all. The drive to the clinic was silent, but thankfully no questions were asked when they finally reached their destination.

"They're all in their beds beside Rose here," Matthew informed, reaching Mary and Rose in the morning room later that night.

"You guys have to believe me," Rose pleaded on the verge of tears, "I am truly sorry!"

"Don't worry Rose," Matthew replied patting her arm gently, " we won't tell my mother, and believe me even grown up people screw up big time." he said hiding his embarrassed expression, "The important thing here is that you are all ok and you have recognized that you were wrong."

"Thank you, but …" Rose replied eyeing at Mary cautiously, "I fear that because of my mistake, all of the others will pay for it."

"And you are right to think that." Mary spoke for the first time, causing Matthew and Rose to turn their heads, "I won't dig myself a whole by telling Mrs Crawley what happened, but I will certainly tell her that, despite no harm has been brought to any of you, she was right to think that you are still quite not ready to get out of here and face the outside world." she concluded firmly, without letting pity cloud her judgement.

"I knew you were still mad at me!"

"I'm not mad, I'm disappointed." Mary replied coldly.

"This is exactly what I feared!" Rose cried frustrated to herself, "The others were so happy! We never really got to do all those kind of things before you two came along, and now I've ruined everything!" she started to cry softly and Matthew offered his shoulder to comfort her.

"Look Rose," Matthew began in an understanding tone, "Mary is right, we can't let it slide and take you out again as if nothing has happened, but I think … and I'm sure Mary will agree, that we can find alternative ways to spend time together and let you enjoy yourself without any danger from the outside."

"What? Other volleyball matches?" Mary retorted sharply.

"Mary you know they need this, you said it yourself." Mary knew he was right, and when that look of his hit her like a racing car, she was forced to do reason.

"What would you suggest then?" she offered.

"How about …" Matthew began, and chuckled softly as the idea hit him. " How about a fashion show?"

"A fashion show?" Mary echoed him puzzled.

"Yes! I mean … You are a wonderful designer and I'm sure the girls would love that, wouldn't they Rose?"

"I—I'm sure they'll like it!" Rose joined his enthusiasm.

"Then it's perfect, isn't it?" Matthew urged, "You can show them how to design clothes and make them as much as they can, and we can also include the girls from the other sections! But wait … I'm sorry, I'm so stupid … I should have talked to you in private about this, before speaking in front of Rose! You think it's a bad idea!" he apologized nervously.

"No," Mary interrupted his confused blabbing in a calm tone. "I actually think it's brilliant." She was mostly sorry she hadn't had the idea herself.


	8. A most awaited realization

**A/N: **_Hi guys! First of all let me thank all of you for voting for this fanfiction for the Highclere Awards, it word for best fic rated T and I couldn't be happier about it! I also want to thank you for waiting so patiently for so long, but you can rejoice by learning that my exams are over! You will however probably have to wait another couple of weeks after this, because I'm going to Ireland next wednesday, and since I'm planning to update also TLFM before I leave, I don't think I will be able to produce another update so soon._

_Anyway, enjoy this next chapter and forgive me if you find some mistakes as it is still unedited because my beta has been really busy these days, I'll change it with the proofread version as soon as I get ahold of it!_

**Chapter Eight: A most awaited realization**

"Mary, can I come in?" Anna cried from behind the door of the guest room, "Sybil is calling!"

"Of course!" Mary shouted while her eyes were focused on the embroidery she was working on. She heard the sound of the door being opened and shut and the familiar ringtone of the Skype video call.

"There she is our Cinderella!" Sybil cried cheerfully through the computer. Mary rolled her eyes and looked up at the screen when Anna placed the laptop on top of the bed.

"Hello darling!" Mary eventually greeted her and put her needles aside, knowing that her younger sister would surely require her undivided attention. "Do you like this?" she asked showing her the dress she was working on.

"That is so pretty!" Sybil praised in between bites of her chocolate bar, "Did Rose designed it?"

Mary giggled, "Oh no, Rose is terrible. I believe this was either Ivy or Daisy."

"It seems you're doing a pretty good job there."

"We are," Mary smiled to herself, " we make a pretty good team."

"You … and Matthew, you mean?"

The simple mention of his name made Mary's body shiver. She hoped that her sudden distress wouldn't show immediately on her face, but she lowered her gaze for a millisecond just in case. That had been no way to avoid it. Mary had tried and tried, but it had all become so painfully clear in those last ten days. Every smile of his, every laugh, every look and the elegance of his low and rich voice whenever he called her name … Each and every one of those details had brought Mary to one terrifying revelation: she had feelings for Matthew.

Beside the scary part of it, Mary found it completely non-sensical. How could she be so stupid to allow herself to fall for him? She already knew from the start that he was not available, but she had fallen for him anyway, almost without even realizing it. But how could she tell this to Anna and Sybil? What would they think of her? It was already embarrassing enough to admit it to herself.

" … and the girls of course." Mary corrected her younger sister, trying to avoid the topic.

"Anyway, it must have been hard to have to work every day alongside that jerk …"

"Please Sybil, don't … talk about him that way." her last words were almost a whisper, so Mary hoped that she wouldn't at least hear the tremble in them. Mary had to raise her gaze eventually and she noticed the characteristic Crawley eyebrow judging her from above her forehead. It wasn't as effective as when Mary did it, but the message was loud and clear. "I know he screwed up, but he has been really great this past months, with the girls, with me …. I believe he's genuinely sorry and everyone can make a mistake …"

"Alright, alright …" Sybil interrupted her, " You know how I get when I feel protective over my sisters, and these pregnancy hormones are not helping! If you say so, I'll stop."

"Thank you." Mary smiled and as she put herself together her eyes landed on the envelope on the bedroom's dresser. "On the topic," she said as she walked over to the dresser and took it, "Anna, have you seen this? There was one for you as well!"

"Oh yes, I have!" Anna chuckled as she finished folding the great mass of clothes on Mary's bed. "You're not thinking of going, are you?" she asked then, as Mary looked in a kind of trance.

"Of course not!"

"Ehm, hey?! Is any of you two going to tell what that is about?" Sybil cried between one bite of chocolate and another through the computer.

Mary chuckled and sat back again on the bed, "Lavinia Swire invited us to the rehearsal dinner for their wedding." she explained without giving away too much emotion.

"What?!" Sybil exclaimed loudly, "At the Abbey? Is she daft or what?!"

"It's not at the Abbey, it's at the Four Season just outside town." Anna corrected her.

"Yes, I believe the place is handling the catering for the event," Mary interjected mindlessly, " in all fairness though, I think she only invited us as a thank you for giving their names to granny."

"Oh, that." Sybil sighed, " one of the many things you shouldn't have done!"

"Are you done being a bitch for the day, or not?" Mary snapped, incredibly irritated by the fact that her sister was failing to realise how uneasy the whole thing was already making her feel without her help.

"Settle down you two!" Anna intervened with the stoic calm that characterized her, "There's no reason to dwell on it because we won't be going! Now, Mary there's something I need to tell you …"

"Oh boy, should I be worried?" Mary replied rolling her eyes. It wasn't exactly the time to receive even more bad news, and Anna fortunately chuckled.

"Not at all," she smiled as she put away the incriminating envelope, "I got a call from Evelyn Napier this morning, he and some of the guys are in town for a couple of days and they were wondering if we wanted to hang out."

"Oh, Evelyn!" Mary cried excitedly at the mention of her old friend's name.

"Yes, he's really happy you're in town as well! That's why I was thinking of having a small get together here tomorrow night … I know it's the day before the fashion show, but maybe you can spare one evening?"

Mary smiled, "It's alright, we should be able to finish everything tomorrow. And Mrs Crawley wants the girls in bed early to prepare for the big night, so there is really no problem." she paused and thought of her old college friends, "I'm really glad to see the guys again, it's really been too long."

"I agree." Anna nodded as she snuggled a place on the bed beside her best friends.

"Well, that's just great!" Sybil cried in a mechanical squeal, "You have fun with Evelyn and the guys while I'll be here watching TV while having an ice cream overdose!"

"Darling, I meant to tell you …" Mary replied, this time softening her tone, " you should really go easy on the sugar …"

"Why? I am pregnant, I am entitled to carbs and sugars!"

"Yes, but do you realize that once the baby is out, you will have to work hard to lose the weight you're putting on, don't you?"

"Wait, what?"

* * *

Isobel stood up from her desk at the clinic and after having put away all of her paperwork, she decided to go and check if everything was alright for dinner. She had been invited to a prestigious charity gala that night by Doctor Clarkson, the director of Downton Hospital. Isobel really wasn't the type of woman to attend these sorts of events, she had always preferred the practical work to the shiny world of fund raising. But becoming the director herself, even of such a small clinic, was a job that came with responsibility and one of those was hunting down potential investors.

On her way to the kitchens she got a glimpse of a merry group in one of the common rooms, it was the girls from her son's section. Once she recognized them, she stopped almost mindlessly and stared at them in silence through the crack of the door. The girls were still laughing with each other and working meticulously on their dresses under Mary's attentive supervision, while Matthew had fallen asleep on one of the armchairs on the other side of the room.

Isobel smiled fondly at the pretty picture of her boy so soundly asleep. It was so hard for her in that moment to think that her Matthew would be married in a few days and maybe start a family of his own very soon. The whole thing had seemed so rushed to her (and it still did to some extent), but she had learnt to make her peace with it. Matthew was a big boy now, a man really, and it was his decision. It didn't matter that they had known each other for less than a year, it didn't matter that to Isobel, Matthew didn't seem so taken with Lavinia as she would have expected, but still …

Yes, witnessing _this _scene right in that instant made it almost impossible for Isobel to deny to herself the questions that had begun to pop into her mind in the past month as she noticed more and more of the changes in her son's behaviour. She had thought it silly at first, she thought that maybe it was because she had missed him so much; but ever since he had started working at the clinic, no – ever since he had got back in town – Isobel had noticed something different in Matthew's eyes. It was something like a _light_, that same light she had seen in his eyes before – before his father had left them ten years ago.

Isobel could have simply rejoiced of the fact and minded her own business, or better … she could have pretended her son's contagious glee was to be attached to the closeness to the _big day_. But Isobel was not stupid and minding her own business had never been one of her strongest suit, especially when it came to her son.

She knew pretty well that the reason of Matthew's humming in the morning and the shine of his smile had absolutely everything to do with a cascade of long chocolate-brown hair and a pair of big dark eyes. Isobel knew that because every time she had found her son in that silly dreamlike state, she had tried mentioning Lavinia and every time the smile had left his lips suddenly. Paired with the longing looks and the complicity she had witnessed in the halls of the clinic, it hadn't been hard to put two and two together.

Obviously she wouldn't dare to think they were having an affair, it wasn't in her son's character to do so, but she was more worried he hadn't even realized what was so painfully obvious to anyone and was going to regret his decisions terribly in the future.

As for Mary, Isobel couldn't say she was elated about the whole thing, but it wasn't because of the young woman standing in the other room. She couldn't possibly be pleased that her son seemed to be in love with a woman who was not his bride-to-be, but in the past few weeks Isobel had had to swallow and take back all of the awful things she had thought about the young woman.

She would have never admitted it (not even under torture), but Mary had grown up to be quite an exceptional young woman. She had that look in her eyes, the one of someone who has seen and suffered too much for her age, but she still carried herself on with such strength and elegance, and had a natural talent when it came to those girls. Isobel had both admired and envied that particular quality of Mary's, and she had learnt to accept her help with as much grace as she could have mustered.

She could have never forgiven her for the years of terror she had forced Matthew in during their teenage years, but she could see very clearly in her eyes now that she regretted them fiercely and that as much as she tried to hide it, the feelings Matthew had developed for her were so clearly mutual.

Still, knowing her son's feeling were reciprocated didn't make the whole thing any better. It broke Isobel's heart to realize how hopeless it seemed, and what was even worse was knowing she couldn't do anything about. She had spoken multiple times doubtfully about this wedding, and her son was many wonderful things but he was also incredibly stubborn.

If Isobel knew as well as she thought she did, then she knew the only way for Matthew to get out of this mess was to realize of his feelings himself. Isobel only wished it wasn't going to be too late when he did.

* * *

Mary sighed and chuckled as looked down at the mess Rose had made. She had been trying to sew a piece of decorated fabric around the neckline of one of the dresses, but the way she had proceeded to do it had been all wrong and the cotton basting was so visible it didn't look good at all.

"Rose darling, this is not how you do it." Mary said trying not to sound so harsh as she cut the cotton with a small pair of scissors to minimize the damage.

"I've shown her how to do it plenty of times Mary, she's just hopeless!" Ivy joked and Rose stuck her tongue out in response.

Mary caught the possible beginning of an argument and decided to intervene, "Settle down you two, you don't want to rip the last dress of the show, do ya?" she warned the two of them, but since she knew better she shoot a long glance in Rose's direction.

"Fine!" Rose agreed deciding not to pay any attentions to Ivy's provocations. She looked away and her eyes seemed to find something much more interesting, "Well, look at that!"

"What?" Mary asked, lifting her gaze from the dress. Rose did not reply, but her toothy grin suggested Mary turned her head to see for herself.

On the other side of the room, sitting on the comfy armchair, Matthew was sleeping soundly. He had the peaceful expression of a little boy, and the messy golden locks on his forehead made him look like one of those putti from a renaissance painting. He looked like somebody who would be able to sleep through a hurricane, and in a certain way he already was, since the girls had all bursted into laughter in unison.

Mary didn't know whether to stare breathlessly at his handsome face for a few more minutes or turn around to join the girls in their laughter. She was still staring at him, when Rose called for her attention.

"Mary, what do you think we should do?" Rose asked with an innocent tone but with a look that suggested otherwise.

"What do you mean?" Mary replied puzzled by the question, "We'll wake him when it's time to close up, I guess."

"I think we should give him a prank," the blonde girl clarified, a bit annoyed by Mary's tardiness, " after all he's sleeping while we're working, he deserves it."

"Oh Rose, why do you always have to be so nasty?" Mary replied, as she moved on to tidy up the room.

"Oh Come onnnn!" Rose whined, following Mary throughout the room, "You've pulled pranks on him your whole life, are you really going _soft_? _Now_?!"

Mary stopped everything she was doing and glanced again in Matthew's direction. She glanced at Rose then, who was giving her one of her judgy looks and sighed. "Alright! But if Mrs Crawley hears about this, it's all on you guys!"

"Yes!" the girls cheers and gathered around Mary to hear about her master plan.

"Daisy, are you finished with those sticky rhinestones?" she asked and the petite girl nodded promptly, "Are there anymore left?" another nod, "Brilliant. Then bring them over here so we can start gluing them on his face," Mary explained and received a loud cheer in approval, " but you have to be quiet!"

When Daisy came back with their mean of torture, the girls gathered silently around the sleeping beauty and proceeded glueing the sparkly little stones on his face, trying as hard as they could not to wake him. After her turn was up, Rose walked triumphantly back to Mary handing her a bunch rhinestones.

"I knew you still had a talent for it," she joked as she put the sparkles in Mary's hand, "we'll give you the honour to put the last ones up."

Mary chuckled and nodded as she made her way to Matthew, trying not to make a sound. When she reached him, he move slightly in his sleep but didn't seem to wake up, so the girls were breathing on Mary's neck, encouraging her to get it over with. Mary's hand trembled as it slowly approached Matthew's face, gently applying the little sparkly strass exactly on the tip of his nose.

When the tiny piece finally stuck, Mary held her breath as Matthew moved again and they all gasped triumphantly when he seemed to have gone back to sleep again. Mary turned around and started high-fiving the girls one by one until they began to look at her frightfully. She wanted to ask them whatever was wrong with them, but she had no time to do so because she felt two firm hands grabbing her waist from behind her.

Mary screamed instinctively, but it was only when she felt her whole body weight being lifted from the ground that she realized Matthew had woken up and grabbed her. "Put me down!" she protested.

"I'm holding you hostage until you girls tell me what you did to my face!" he explained still in a sleepy voice.

In between chuckles, Rose managed to give him an answer, "Look in the mirror, mate!" she suggested and Matthew moved quickly across the room, still carrying Mary in his arms, while a trail of giggling teenagers followed him. Just as he got a glimpse of his sparkly face, he suddenly turned on his right to place Mary on the sofa to start tickling her.

"Stop it!" Mary yelled through her laugh, as she jiggled spasmodically under Matthew's tickles.

"Someone has to pay for this!" Matthew replied theatrically, throughly amused by Mary's facial expressions. "But I will let you go at one condition: you have to beg."

A huge boyish grin lit up his face as Mary rolled her eyes and batted her lashes in her usual fashion. She hesitated for a few seconds but then spoke up, "Matthew Crawley, get off of me … now." her tone was resolved but it did nothing but amusing Matthew all the more, " … _please?_"

Their eyes met right before he let her go, and for the briefest moment Mary noticed something different in the crystal blue of his eyes, some kind of _spark_ that made her heart flutter. It was only a few seconds ago that she remembered they were not alone in the room and that five pair of eyes were staring at them. It seemed Matthew had been caught up in that trance too, because when Mary finally moved, he almost jumped awkwardly and managed to straighten himself up to help her sit more properly.

Thankfully the girls seemed to give the episode much less importance than Mary had feared and as dinner time neared, they started to retreat to their room and wishing them good night one by one. But when Matthew went to speak with his mother for a moment, Mary saw approaching the only person who was probably not willing to let the whole thing go, so she hoped that at least this time she would be gentle with her.

"Hey …" Rose began as she reached Mary and started to help her folding the pieces of fabric scattered across the room. It was all too weird. Usually when one of those funny little scenes between her and Matthew happened, Rose couldn't wait to come and pick on her with sharp words and annoying smiles. This time however it seemed different, she seemed different … It was hard to tell but it was almost like for the first time since Mary had known her, Rose seemed serious.

"Is everything ok?" Mary asked worried by her uncharacteristic composure.

"I wanted to get you alone because I needed to talk to you," Rose explained biting her lip, " you see … My parents called yesterday."

"And?" Mary encouraged her to go on.

"And they said they were sorry for over reacting at my problems. They realized they haven't handled the situation in the best of ways by parking me here, but they are glad I'm doing better …" Rose paused and watched as Mary was smiling fondly at her as she listened, "You see, they're coming for the fashion show tomorrow night and they want me take the weekend off with them after the show is over."

"What did you answer?"

"I said I'll decide on the moment. I don't know Mary, we've parted pretty badly, I just don't want to get my hopes up. They may fool everyone else when they play happy family, but I know better now."

Mary looked at her fondly and quoted, "_Happy families are all alike, every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way._"

"Do you want me to throw myself under a train?" Rose replied wittily and Mary gave her a look of approval.

"You've read it then," Mary noticed proudly as she stroke Rose's arm fondly, "What I mean is that nobody is perfect. If you think adults have some kind of super power that tells them the right thing to do, then you're wrong. Behaving correctly takes constant work, and sometimes even with the best intentions you screw up completely. But we need to do that because we have responsibility towards ourselves and to other people. Maybe for your parents this whole thing has been harder to accept, but they are willing to try to make things right. It doesn't mean they will succeed, but you have to give them a chance because if they want to try, it means they care. And believe me … some people would kill to have parents that care, even if just a little bit …"

Rose did not reply right away. She pondered on Mary's every word very carefully and in the end when Matthew came in to summon her for dinner, she simply hugged Mary very tightly and whispered a feeble _thank you _in her hear.

"What was that about?" Matthew asked once Rose had joined the others in the dining room, startling Mary from her trance.

"Oh, nothing … She's just a bit nervous about seeing her parents tomorrow." Mary explained and the sudden realization that she was alone with him in the room provided and incredibly awkward silence.

Matthew sensed it as well and decided to break the ice, " I think I've got most of those things off," he said pointing at his face, "You had me looking like a fairy god mother!"

"Only much, much prettier." Mary replied without even thinking about it, but she realized it was maybe not the best choice of words to use, at least not directed to him.

"Oh … uhm … hey! Do you think everything is going to be fine tomorrow? I keep worrying that something is going to go wrong!"

Mary chuckled, " Why would it be?"

"I don't know … I'm sorry, maybe it's just that I am a bit of a plan freak. I need to plan everything in the smallest details to be able to breathe properly. I guess better safe than sorry, uh?"

"Argh, I don't know about that … I sort of hate plans."

"You do?" Matthew retorted, suddenly pretty curious to hear her argument, "Why is that?"

"It's not that I hate _making plans_, it's just that I've learnt they almost never go the way you wanted them to. Plans mean future disappointments, and I think I've had enough for a lifetime." she paused for a moment and noticed the seriousness of Matthew's expression, "Oh I'm sorry, I didn't mean to sound depressing … there's actually a happier side to my argument."

"Is there?" Matthew humoured her while locking his eyes with hers.

" Sometimes the most wonderful things in life happen out of the blue, and nothing you could have planned would ever come close to it. I believe that if you are too focused on your plans, you might miss the great chances life has in store for you." Mary stopped and a little smile curved the angles of her mouth as a thought cross her mind, "I actually believe I've been proven right already this past month."

Matthew felt his pulse racing but decided not to leave her eyes to give himself away, "What do you mean?"

"This." Mary simply answered and her face lit up with the most wonderful smile Matthew had ever seen.

"_This?_" he echoed as he felt his throat go dry, while every fibre of his being was anticipating whatever she was going to say next.

"Yes," Mary nodded, " I never planned to come work in this place – I never saw myself in it, and yet it is turning out to be one of the most enriching experiences of my life."

_Of course, _Matthew thought as Mary's words served as a cold shower on his very hot skin. _Of course she was talking about the clinic_. And what exactly was he expecting her to say anyway? That she loved him? That she had never planned it, but she had fallen helplessly in love with him?!Matthew didn't think he could get even more pathetic, but clearly he was planning to outdo himself that night.

"Anyway, let's just quit the sentimentalism for the night …" Mary chuckled and Matthew was grateful for the topic change, " What are your plans for tonight?"

"Uhm, Mother has got this benefit thing tonight—"

"Oh yes, I've heard!" Mary interrupted him without thinking, "The girls are hoping to get a plasma TV."

Matthew chuckled, "Anyway, since she's out for the night I guess I will have my usual appointment with the pizza delivery guy at 8 pm." he smiled and hoped his tone sounded more witty rather than pathetic.

"Wait, so Lavinia isn't here yet? I thought she would be by now since the wedding is so close."

"She's touring Yorkshire with some relatives from the US, they are going to be here for the rehearsal dinner."

"Oh," Mary sighed nonchalantly, feeling extremely guilty because a tiny part of her was actually glad Matthew's fiancé was still out of the picture. However she feared that he would sense it even from her spoken syllable, so she decided to say something that would show Mary's disappointment for Lavinia's absence, " so she will miss the fashion show as well? What a shame!"

"I suppose she will, yes …" Matthew replied with his eyes still firmly in hers, showing her a shy smile of gratitude.

It was all too much. Too silly, too impossible. This whole situation was just a big laugh on Mary's face. As she got one last look at those beautiful aquamarine eyes, Mary realized how true it was when people said karma is a bitch. It was the perfect punishment for her to be falling in love with him in the worst possible scenario, when she had known him all her life.

There was nothing left but accepting her punishment and try to go on making amends for her past. But as much as she was trying to be a better person, in that moment she felt that she simply couldn't sustain his gaze any longer. No, she couldn't look him in the eyes while those thoughts were circulating her mind. Because it didn't matter that her intentions were pure, in that moment she felt selfish and she _wanted_ to be selfish, because she was happy Lavinia wasn't going to be there for the fashion show.

It was stupid, really … but to Mary it felt as this upcoming night would be the last she would have with him. It didn't matter that he didn't love her and that his looks and smiles did not have the same meaning as hers; Mary wanted so desperately to be near him just for one more night because she knew that after that, she would have to give him up. After that night, reality would come to crash her naïve dreams and Mary could only feel happy that Lavinia Swire wouldn't have existed for one more day.

"In that case," she began and turned to face him again, feeling her pulse racing as she gathered the courage to speak up to him, " a couple of old friends of mine are in town and Anna and I are having a small get together at John's place, ehm … Edith is going to be there as well!" Mary felt the adrenaline running through her veins as she studied Matthew's attentive gaze, anticipating what his response would be, " I mean, you are welcome to come if … if you can spare the poor delivery guy for one night!" she joked, hoping not to sound too pathetic.

"Oh, I don't know Mary …" he replied with a slight embarrassment in his voice, " … I don't want to impose on you."

"You are not imposing, I wouldn't have invited you if you were."

"But are you sure Anna feels the same way?" he paused for a minute and saw the puzzled look in Mary's eyes, "I feel like she probably still hates me." he admitted and he hated himself a little bit because he didn't want to bring _that_ up again.

Mary was ready to reply right away, but it wasn't until he finished his sentence that she realized what she was talking about. "Oh, _that_. If you knew Anna as well as I do, you'd realize she simply isn't capable of hating anyone." she reassured him and looked at him with anticipation. "Plus, John doesn't know anybody either so it would be nice for him to see a friendly face."

Matthew looked at her seriously, attentively weighing his options, but he realized that even if he had some big night planned, he simply couldn't have said no to those big brown puppy eyes. He chuckled and Mary's eyes sparkled anticipating his reply, "Alright," he gave up, " but only because I don't want to disappoint John."

"_Of course,"_ Mary replied incapable to regain her composure, "I'm sure John will be really pleased."

* * *

When Matthew walked to Anna and John's front door later that evening, he felt a rush of panic washing over him suddenly. All the lights inside the house were on, and he could hear voices and laughs coming from the inside. _What was he doing there?_ Was he dressed properly? Why had he agreed to get yet another glimpse of Mary's life, when he had been so adamant in trying to forget about her?

He took a deep breath and looked down at the pudding he had bought as a gift, feeling extremely pathetic. He raised his arm to knock on the door, but he noticed someone looking at him through the window and just a few seconds later the door swung open on his face.

"You made it!" Mary's cheerful smile greeted him at the door. She was wearing a simple blue dress which fell dangerously short halfway through her thighs. Her hair were free from the usual ponytail she wore everyday at the clinic and she had a little bit more make up than usual, but Matthew could tell it was not as much as when she attended those crazy parties in London. She was standing so radiant right before his eyes, both an angel and a seductress, while he loosened his collar trying to remember how to say something so simple like a greeting. "Well, come on in!" she encouraged him, and made room for him to go through the door.

Once inside Anna and John quickly approached him to greet him and Matthew gave them the dessert he had brought, glad they seemed to appreciate it. Then Anna and Mary walked him around the hospitable living room where he met Edith, whom he hadn't seen in eight years at least, and where he was introduced those strangers who appeared to be Anna and Mary's friends. The last person left to meet was this guy in the corner of the room who was standing on a stool and reciting some lines from the Dr Faustus. Matthew didn't need particular introductions to understand he was clearly the life of the party.

"Matthew this nut job over here is my dear friend Evelyn Napier," Mary managed to say through her giggles, as Evelyn tumbled quite theatrically down from the stool, "Ev, this is my friend from high school, Matthew Crawley."

Matthew smiled politely and shook firmly his hand, "Nice to meet you Evelyn. This may sound strange but is it possible that I have seen you before? You look strangely familiar!"

"Well Matthew, I've known Mary and Edith from the cradle but I doubt we've ever crossed paths here in Downton. Maybe …"

"Here he goes again!" Edith interrupted him with a loud wail, "How he loves to brag!" everyone else bursted into laughter while Matthew stood there looking rather puzzled at the old friends having fun.

"Matthew, have you seen Sir Peter Hall's rendition of Hamlet last year? You know the one at the Globe which was acclaimed by the public and the critic?" Mary included him in the conversation with an apparent change of topic.

Matthew pondered a few seconds, but then replied, "Oh yes, yes! I have seen it, it was really good!" he offered, still failing to understand what it had to do with anything.

"Well, then there is where you remember Evelyn from," Mary explained, " he plaid Hamlet himself and since then we still haven't heard the end of his boasting!" she mocked her old friend as he took an elegant bow in Matthew's direction.

The rest of the evening went on quite smoothly as Matthew realized he hadn't had enjoyed himself as much quite in some time. The past year for him had constituted mostly of charity dinners or strategic cocktails in the company of much much older associates, and this quite little evening with people his age had had him remembering his lost days at Cambridge University and all of his old friends he had failed to stay in touch with.

He still failed to understand though how everyone knew each other. Evelyn was Mary's and Edith's childhood friend, and from what Matthew had gathered he was a blue blood just like the Crawley sisters even if in a lower status, but Matthew still couldn't understand how he seemed to be great friend with Anna as well, who had no aristocratic background whatsoever. How the other guests were linked to each other was even a greater mystery, but Matthew felt it would have been kind of rude to start asking too many questions.

Someway throughout the night he found himself standing in the corner, drinking a glass of wine and making small talk with none other than Evelyn. They were interrupted suddenly when Edith, the Crawley middle sister started to walk in their direction. Matthew did not remember much about her, only that she was one younger than them and always suffered the weight of following Mary's shadow.

"There you are!" she cried in a flirty tone, which Matthew was surprised was directed to him, "I'm really glad to see you again! I meant to tell you you really look great, well done!" she cheered him on, putting one hand on Matthew's arm.

"Thank you," Matthew replied politely, but was beginning to feel incredibly uncomfortable when luckily Evelyn came to his rescue.

"Oh Edith, Edith … Why you never tell _me _such things?" He asked playfully the blonde sister, causing her to switch her attention.

"You had your chance!" she replied dryly but grinned back at him right before she was summoned from her sister.

"You _and_ Edith?" Matthew asked curiously while sipping his wine.

Evelyn chuckled as his gaze still followed Edith's back walking away from them, "It was a while ago, and it didn't end so well."

"May I ask why?"

"It was for the same reason why _all_ of my stories back then ended in tears: I was helplessly in love with her older sister."

Matthew listened to him mindlessly and it took him a few moments to process the last piece of information. "_Oh,_ you mean Mary?" he asked nonchalantly, trying not to give himself away, "I thought you two were just friends …"

"Oh, but we are!" Evelyn replied, " The best of friends! Only it is not too hard to fall for her, once you've spent a good couple of hours in her company." Matthew felt like he couldn't really disagree, "You see, Mary and I have known each other since we were kids. You know how aristocrats can be, wanting their kids to play with people from the same blazoned pool. I think our parents have always championed our union, and for a while we even tried … but unlike me, Mary has never felt anything more. It was awkward for a while when we broke up," Evelyn chuckled at the memory, " we were teenagers in the end, but Mary never gave up on our friendship. This makes it even harder, you know … Knowing it was all my fault …"

"Your fault?" Matthew echoed him puzzled, "What would be your fault?"

"Everything, I suppose." Evelyn sighed, looking very frustrated and very pale for the first time that night. "From the broken link with her parents to the recent media assault."

"But I thought Mary broke it off with her family because she chose not to go college as they wanted her too."

"Well no, not really …" Evelyn corrected him, "Mary did go to college to please her parents, and so did I. It is how all of us tonight know each other. We were all living in the same building freshman year." That explained Matthew's doubt from before, but he was much more puzzled now about Mary's past. Evelyn sensed it and decided to go on.

"After we graduated, Mary and I both enrolled to King's College in London to read english and there we met Anna and the others. Halfway through the year however, we both realized it wasn't really what we wanted to do. We were really miserable and I convinced her that even if her parents would disagree, the right thing for us to do was to drop out of university and enrol for me to drama school and for her to the fashion institute. My parents supported me after that, but hers did not. She worked two jobs to pay for her tuition and lived at her Aunt Rosamund's until she could stand on her own two feet."

"Well," Matthew began extremely enraptured by Evelyn's story that had confirmed once again the incredible strength Mary carried herself with. " You encouraged her to follow her dreams and do what she was meant to, I can't imagine her being mad at you for that."

"I suppose so," Evelyn replied breathlessly, "but you see, this is not all. It was me who introduced her to Kemal Pamuk three years ago." Evelyn paused and felt a rush of guilt when Matthew didn't try to comfort him right away like he had before. " She had just broke out into the business and I took her to one of those celebrity parties. Kemal and I had done a play together, but I had absolutely no idea of the kind of person he was. He took her life and twisted it upside down, and when I read how those awful papers paint her it breaks my heart, because I know it is not the Mary _I _know. She is the strongest, most wonderful person I've ever met and I know I could never forgive myself for ruining her life."

A peaceful silence followed and both men found themselves staring at the smiling beauty in the distance. "That is why I am so, _so_ happy to see her doing so well. You haven't seen her six months ago, this is truly a miracle." they carried on staring at Mary talking and laughing so carelessly with both Anna and her sister, until a small chuckle broke out in Evelyn's mouth. " I have already asked Anna and she doesn't want to tell me anything, but since you are working with her maybe you will." he paused and whispered in Matthew's hear with a boyish grin splashed on his face. "Is she seeing anyone new?"

"What?!" Matthew almost spit it out, uncertain to what Evelyn truly meant.

"She is just so radiant and Anna insists it is because her work at the clinic is proving to be very rewarding, but I know that look … And let me tell you mate, Lady Mary Crawley has someone in her heart."

Matthew froze. He simply did not know what to do or say that wouldn't have shown his true reaction to Evelyn's assumption. He felt his throat going dry and swallowed nervously to try to make things better, but in that moment Matthew only knew she was simply too beautiful and he was just the greatest fool that ever lived and that did not deserve that brief, passionate night they had shared over a month.

"I'm sorry," he barely muttered, "I don't think I can be much more helpful, I'm afraid."

"Oh, don't worry!" Evelyn reassured him with a friendly smack on his shoulder, " Whoever the lucky bastard is, let me tell you something … If this fool has her and lets her go, he will regret it for the rest of his life."

The rest of Evelyn's speech went muffled in Matthew's hears, because everything in his mind went blank. There was only Mary in that room, so close for him to reach out to and yet so far away. Matthew tried to regain his composure by breaking his burning gaze on her, if not for his sake at least for Mary's. It was then that he heard Evelyn's words, "Oh, about that … I hear congratulations are in order! It seems yours is going to be the wedding of the year!" but it took Matthew far too long to respond to him, when his eyes locked with Mary's across the room for one last time.

**A/N:** _I have created a post on my tumblr to address the continued criticism on this fic, I hope this will finally be the end of it. You can find it at : post / 55334535370 / a-post-to-respond-the-continued-unexpected-past_

_You will have to eliminate the spaces of course._


	9. The Rehearsal Dinner Anticipation

**Chapter Nine: The rehearsal dinner anticipation.**

"Matthew, are you alright?" his mother's concerned voice shook him up from his trance. It was 2 pm and Matthew had been staring for five minutes straight at the piece of decoration that was supposed to be hung on the roof.

"Erm … Of course, mother. I'm perfectly fine." He reassured her and climbed the ladder instantly to adjust the sparkly decoration descending on the improvised catwalk.

"No, he's not." Mary declared as he reached them, giving the staff a look that resembled the one of a troop general. "He hasn't eaten anything all day!" She explained to Isobel in confidence, not caring for Matthew's protests. While his mother looked at him with disapproval, Mary got ahold of her handbag and grabbed something from it. "Here," she handed the packet to Matthew, " Have some crackers for now. If they manage to stimulate your appetite, we'll send Rose to fetch you something from the cafeteria."

"Mary, I'm fine really. Besides I'm far too nervous to eat at the moment."

"I don't care if you're nervous or simply considering becoming an anorexic. I won't have you collapsing on the floor, especially before tonight is over." Mary knew exactly how to deal with this sort of situations. She had seen far too many starving drama queens behind the scenes of fashion shows, but she certainly wasn't expecting an outburst from Matthew of all people.

"Mary, the other volunteers are here!" Anna shouted from the other side of the conference hall to get her attention.

"Coming!" Mary informed her, but took a moment to turn in Matthew's direction one last time, "Are we clear?"

"Yes, _m'am_." he replied and opened up the packet to start biting on those crackers reluctantly.

Isobel grinned, "I'm glad you are listening to someone, at least." she pointed out as her son had the look of a ten year old boy in detention. "This is not about the fashion show, is it?" she asked wisely. When Matthew neither denied nor confirmed her assumption, she proposed "Let's go to my office for a couple of minutes."

"I don't know, mum." Matthew hurried to respond, "Mary is going to kill us if she finds us not working like everyone else."

"Since we both started working at 7 am this morning, I don't think she'll mind. Plus, I'm fairly confident I still hold a bit of a fear factor over her." Isobel laid out her case triumphantly, leaving her son no more reason to object.

When they finally reached the privacy of Isobel's office, Matthew changed his mind about hearing yet another pep talk from his dear mother. "Mother, listen … If this is about cold feet and how normal it is to have them a few days before the wedding, than I've already heard all about it."

"I don't want give you a talk about simple nerves because I know this isn't about that, is it?" Isobel ventured cautiously, hoping to get to the point without much awkwardness.

"Exactly." Matthew agreed promptly, taking his mother by surprise. "This isn't cold feet because I'm simply worried about the fashion show tonight, that's all." he declared, crossing his arms on his chest as if it would have prevented his mother from reading his thoughts.

"Are you really going to play that card with your mother?" Isobel grinned, not willing to let it go, "I figured out all of your mind tricks by the time you were six." she specified with the intention to light up the mood. But as Matthew realized his mother wouldn't let it pass, a difficult silence fell to keep them company. "Look," Isobel began, serious and considerate at the same time, " I don't want to force you to tell me something that would make you uncomfortable, but please just hear me out … I _don't care_ whether it's two days or two _hours_ before the wedding, if you feel even for a second that this isn't what you want, than _please _… don't feel the pressure of going along with it only because you're afraid of calling it off." Matthew's eyes widened hearing Isobel's bluntness, he didn't want his mother to feel sorry for him but at the same time he simply could not speak a word. He was frozen. " … Lavinia will understand," Isobel kept going, " she knows you're a _good man_, she will appreciate your sincerity—"

"_Please _mother, don't – say _that._" Matthew interrupted her without even thinking, " I am not a _good man_." he whispered and his words came out suffered from his lungs.

Isobel stared at his indecipherable expression for a few seconds, then she decided to speak, "Marrying her when you so obviously _don't want to_, won't make you a _better_ man … Just a very _stupid _one."

Matthew snapped. He stood up from his seat abruptly and started to pace back and forth through the small room, "What do you expect me to do, mother? Call Lavinia's father who has spent thousands of pounds over this and tell him I don't want to get married anymore because I'm not so sure about my feelings for her daughter anymore?!"

"So you'd rather wake up in ten, _fifteen _years at the side of a woman you've grown to _hate_ with some poor kid who thinks it is all his fault his parents don't love each other?" Isobel replied, raising her voice at the same volume of Matthew's, "What is it you're so afraid of? Is this about the new job at the prestigious firm? You're brilliant darling, you know you'll find another job around the corner!"

"Of course it's not about this!" Matthew reassured her, "You know I don't care about those things so much, but … It is all my fault, you see? Lavinia had nothing to do with this, it is me who's changed. This is _not_ how it was supposed to be."

"My dear boy, you can't hardly fault yourself for feelings beyond your control."

Those last words left Matthew completely stunned. Was it possible that his mother might have understood everything? Had he shown his true feelings so openly? Whatever the clues he had left throughout the last month were, it certainly didn't matter now because his mother was on his side. Thoughts of calling off the wedding didn't seem so horrid and ungrateful now that even Isobel, the woman who had made him the kind of man that he was, suggested it.

Isobel stood there in silence, watching him massaging his temple with his gaze lost in the nothingness. She didn't dare say anything more and waited for his response, almost as if she knew exactly what was going on in Matthew's head and that he needed a minute to formulate his answer properly, instead of being hurried into it.

"Alright." he whispered cautiously, praying that his mother wouldn't make a huge fuss over his agreement. "But I cannot do this on the phone, it doesn't seem right. I will tell both Reggie and Lavinia as soon as they get here."

Isobel nodded in agreement. "When will they arrive?"

"Tomorrow night." Matthew said very seriously, but his concentration was broken by the sound of the door swinging open behind them.

"Is something wrong?" Mary's voice sang to their serious faces. None of them spoke, but they both shook their head. "Then why aren't you working?" Mary replied seriously but with a playful smile on her face.

Matthew grinned back instantly, not realising his mother was studying his behaviour meticulously, and said, "See, mother? I told you we would get in trouble."

* * *

Time flew as it always does when you least expect it, and the big hall at the Clinic was beginning to fill up with the guest from all over the village. Mary stood behind the curtains in her simple black dress and ponytail, peeking nervously at the number of people that had actually decided to attend.

"Are you sure you don't need my help in here?" Anna asked her friend kindly, looking absolutely adorable in the green dress Mary had lent her.

"I already told you we have everything under control, you just go take a seat and enjoy your night with John." Mary smiled, determined not to let her nervousness show.

"Alright," Anna agreed not to insist anymore, " but before I forget … Edith is here." Mary's heart warmed a little. As much as she had no intentions to give up on their little cold war, the presence of her sister did make her feel slightly better, "And this time she actually got Tony Stralland to come along with her!"

"Really?" Mary voiced almost unconsciously, as her best friend managed to nod quickly and point at the strangely assorted couple in the crowd. If this had happened over a month before Mary would have laughed ungraciously and planned sharp remarks to point out later in the evening, but _this _was a different Mary and she knew now how you don't exactly choose who to fall for.

As soon as Anna went to take a seat beside her boyfriend, Mary felt someone tapping on her shoulder. She turned her head, nervous and annoyed only to find Matthew with his clothes changed from the same morning. They had had only a couple of hours to go home and change, but by the look on his face Matthew didn't seem so convinced.

"These are the only black clothes I could find." He pointed out apologetically and Mary noticed how both his t-shirt and trousers looked slightly larger than his usual clothes, indicating they belonged to another size.

"I didn't mean to torture you, you know …" Mary grinned at his childish expression, " It's best to wear black when your working behind the scenes, so people don't get distracted from the catwalk." she explained.

"I know, I know …" he chuckled, " I just wanted to give you a hard time." he was strangely in a good mood, "Anyways, Rose's parents are in the dressing rooms … They would like to talk to you before the fashion show starts."

Mary ditched her obsessive thoughts about any imminent disaster and changed her expression suddenly at the mention of Rose's parents, "Are they?" she asked incredulously as Matthew nodded with an encouraging smile. He walked her out of the big hall and straight to the corridors where the girls were changing into their outfits. When they reached the last door on the left, Matthew gestured for her to get inside, but stopped right before the threshold. "You are coming too, aren't you?" Mary asked, biting her lower lip for the anticipation, "You have taken care of her as much as I did."

Matthew shook his head, "We both know that is not true." his smile had almost a therapeutic effect on her, for every time she was lucky enough to see it, she could actually feel her nerve endings relax like in a hot bath. "Besides, it is not me or my mother they want to thank, it's _you_." the gentle brush of his fingers against the bare skin of her arm was the last push she needed to go inside the room.

As she stepped inside, Mary was surprised (if not frightened) to find that Rose was not in the room with them. She took a deep breath, stepped forward and extended her hand to shake theirs.

"It's very nice to meet you, Mr and Mrs McClare, my name is Mary Crawley."

"It's very nice indeed, Mrs Crawley!" Mr McClare agreed as his wife nodded in agreement.

Mary chuckled and replied kindly, "It's _Miss_ Crawley, actually." she pointed out, thinking that bringing in her title would have made her look kind of snobbish.

"Oh," Susan McClare gasped, " We're sorry, we thought you and that Mr Crawley over there were married, Rose talks about you two together constantly."

Mary blushed violently and chuckled so nervously to the point that she almost chocked. "No no no, Matthew and I are not _married_. We have the same last name, I know it sounds strange but that is all there is to it."

"Whatever your marital status Miss Crawley," Hugh interjected Mary's messy speech, " The reason we are here is to thank you in person for all that you've done for our daughter."

"I don't think I have done that much, really … but thanks."

"Oh, but you have!" Susan praised her, " We have seen more improvement in the last month of her staying that in the previous six!"

Mary did not like the word _improvement_ so much, "Rose is a great kid, she always has been." she underlined, "She just found herself in the wrong crowd. What she really needed was someone to actually have some faith in her." her words came straight from her heart and it seemed to have an unexpected impact on the older couple in front of her.

"We're sorry we couldn't be the ones to have that faith in her," Hugh expressed sincerely with his eyes beginning to water, "But she was lucky to have you, _we_ were lucky to have you." he finished his suffering sentence, and in that moment Mary knew that despite how bad this family had messed up, Rose's parents really loved her.

"You know Miss Crawley," Susan shook her up from her trance, " Not all parents are brave enough to have that faith in their children. Some of them need their kids to trust them first. You got Rose to open up to us, and for that we couldn't be more grateful."

Later on, Rose's parents went to take their seats but Susan's words stuck with Mary until she reached slowly again the backstage of the catwalk. _What if Sybil was right?_ What if _her _parents were just like Rose's parents? Mary wasn't sure they actually knew they were in town, but maybe … _maybe_ that was all it took. Maybe trusting them first was what they all needed to start over.

Mary took back her initial position and peeked from the curtains once again, but this time her eyes searched for Rose's parents, so scared and proud to be there for their daughter. She seemed to have forgotten all about her pre-show stress, until the lights went down and the music announced the show was about to start. Mary's heart started to beat faster and faster and her feet started to tap furiously on the ground. It was only then that she noticed all the cameras and flashes pointed to the stage and in her direction.

"Hey, how are you doing?" Mary turned to see Matthew and his concerned look that sent her on edge.

"I'm fine, I'm _fine! _Did you … call all of those reporters?" She asked nervously, bringing her hand up to bite her nails.

Matthew looked at big room as well and returned to her with a naïve look on his face, "I thought you must have called them," he said innocently, but realized quickly how unsettling that lack of information was for Mary, " But it must have been my mother now that I think about it," he pointed out quickly to reassure her, " she is the one who was taking care of publicity, wasn't she?"

"_Of course..._" Mary said a bit relieved, trying to breathe with more regularity, " … I'm sorry, I guess I still have a bit of a _paparazzi _scare. They used to follow me everywhere, it wasn't pretty …" she explained, but just as she finished her sentence she flinched as the music lowered and Isobel climbed up on stage. It seemed Matthew had sensed Mary's emotions instantly, because just as Isobel got ahold of a microphone, Matthew grabbed Mary's hand and squeezed it gently.

A few seconds later all eyes were on the stage and Isobel started to present the project and the work all the girls had done. As all the lights went down for the actual show to start, Mary squeezed Matthew's hand with all the strength she had.

* * *

Mary watched the whole show with the biggest attention for details. It was true, she was not a big fan of getting over dramatic over preparations and plans, but that didn't mean she didn't get nervous about something she really cared about. The only problem was that her nervousness, contrary to Matthew's which seemed to have vanished as soon as the show had started, had increased exponentially as soon as the lights had gone down in the room and the catwalk had been illuminated. But Mary was far too proud to admit it, so she had bottled it up and focused on the only thing that always seemed to get her minds off difficult thought, _more work_.

She had given a complete check up to each and every girl that passed right before sending them under the spotlight and if something wasn't right she managed to fix it within seconds, she was a machine. But as the last girl climbed to the catwalk and Mary realized she had nothing left to do beside witness the audience's reaction, she felt all of her nerves coming back up. Her gaze wondered frantically as the previous models started to line up again, but between that, the lights and the music Mary couldn't handle it anymore. She tossed her headphones aside and ran further backstage to get some air.

At the other end of the model line Matthew checked the list in his hands and called up the few girls left. When everything seemed in order, he pushed a button on his headphones and spoke into the microphone: "Mary, it's Matthew. All the girls are lined up, you can send them on stage in a minute." he released the button but received no response. "Mary?" he called again, "Mary, do you receive me?" still no answer.

Instructing the girls not to move a muscle if they didn't see the girl before them move, Matthew reached the top of the line to check on his co-worker but finding no sign of her.

"She's not here!" Rose informed him, while in line like the others, "She looked sick, so she tossed her headphones and ran straight into the dressing room."

"Thank you Rose, I'll go and make sure she's ok." Matthew reassured her, and after having looked at his watch, he reach the girl on top of the line and told her to go in. "C'mon girls! In for the big finale, just like we rehearsed!" he encouraged them and when he was sure they could manage on their own, he raced to the corridor behind them to find the room Mary was hiding.

He found her sobbing in one of the most secluded rooms down the corridor. He stepped in and gently put one hand on her back before she realized he was there.

"I'm sorry!" Mary promptly cried at Matthew's concerned look, "I'm alright, it's just these stupid nerves! I always do this!" she said and Matthew took her by surprise when he took her in a full embrace, "I guess I don't have everything under control as I let on …"

Matthew chuckled, " Nobody does …" he said sincerely and his hand unconsciously moved to brush her hair. "But if it is of any consolation to you, the show has been amazing. I've sent the last girls in and the audience looked content."

"Really?" she whispered, and only when she looked straight into his eyes she realized she was standing so close to him, wrapped in his embrace with one of his hands through her hair. She froze, acknowledging slowly how good his touch was making her feel, her brain so clouded to show her how inappropriate that was.

Matthew seemed to sense her realization because his body began to tremble against hers and his gaze became more serious, "Mary I—I need to tell you something." Matthew had decided he wasn't going to involve her in his talk with Reggie. He had thought it best to talk with him _before_ telling everything to Mary, but she was in his arms and the time felt so right he could not conceal his feelings any moment longer. Mary shivered from the strength of his gaze and swallowed nervously before nodding.

"I thought a lot about what you said yesterday … when you told me sometimes – sometimes the most wonderful things happen _out of the blue_. I spent my life planning so much, I never really stopped to ask myself if I was really _happy_. But this past month has definitely put my life into prospective and now I – now I know what I _want_." he stopped to catch his breath, too compelled by her quizzical gaze, finding it impossible to make his hands stay still, " _Mary, I –_" his right hand left her hair to gently brush her cheek, his face was so close now Mary could feel his warm breath … " _I_—"

"Matthew, Mary! They're calling you on stage! You're the only ones missing!"

Before Mary could actually feel her legs moving towards the stage, the spotlights were on her blinding her eyes. Someone said her name and the crowd cheered, but her mind was far away from that stage. Mary was only thinking about Matthew and his embrace that she didn't even realize Rose and Daisy had come back on the stage to give her and Isobel flowers. She thought about his cryptic words and his lips so close to hers, those lips she so desperately wanted to kiss … until she realized it wasn't ok, it wasn't ok at all. It was not ok for her to think about kissing him and it was not ok for him to holdher like _that. _No … there was nothing ok about what had almost happened in the dressing room.

As the show ended, madness was unfold in the room. People going on and off in every direction, to greet someone or compliment somebody else. After waving at Mr and Mrs McClare and giving her goodbye to Rose more quickly than she had wished for, Mary found herself in the company of Anna, Edith and their respective boyfriends. Tony was praising her efforts, Edith commented on the tackiness of some of the dresses while Anna declared that the most important thing was that the girls had had fun. John agreed with her girlfriend, but halfway through his intervention something else seemed to have caught his attention. The four pair of eyes before her suddenly lifted their gazes above her head, so that Mary was compelled to turn her head in that direction.

The room had almost emptied by then and not too far from them, Matthew was alone leaning with his shoulders to the wall, clearly awaiting to speak with Mary. Mary turned back her head to her group and before either Edith or Tony could inquire on Matthew's behaviour, Anna intervened to save Mary's skin: "We'll go now." she informed with a kind smile, "We'll see you back at the house, ok?"

"Wait!" Mary cried blocking Anna's wrist with her hand, "It won't take a minute," she assured, "Please wait for me." she begged and Anna nodded before Mary wished Edith and Anthony a goodnight.

With her heart beating twice as fast, Mary made her way towards Matthew while Anna and John went beside the door to give them some privacy. Matthew's smile grew as she got closer and when she reached him, he tried to take her hand.

"I really need to talk to you," he reiterated, " we should go somewhere more private where—"

"No." Mary replied promptly, cold as ice. "I'm not going anywhere with you." she declared, leaving him speechless. " Matthew, what happened – or better – what _almost_ happened back there is not ok. You don't get to comfort _me_ like that, it's not appropriate … not when you're getting married in two days!" those words were hard for her to speak, but she felt they were necessary.

" Please Mary, I can _explain—" _

"No!" she interrupted him again with frustration in her voice, " I don't need you to _explain, _I need you to to _leave me alone_!" she wanted to be strong and face his eyes while saying that, but it was too hard, " I don't know what kind of ideas you've got in your head about me, but I am _not_ that woman."

"You've misunderstood! Please, just hear me out!" Matthew tried to reach her and tell her everything she needed to know, but Mary had already put up a wall between them.

"I don't think your mother will need me anymore, now that Rose is staying with her parents for a while … Please tell her I'm not coming back." she said coldly, ignoring his latest begging.

" Mary, _please_ …"

"_Goodbye _Matthew." she whispered and without even looking in his eyes one last time, Mary turned her back and exited the building in the company of Anna and John.

* * *

The following day as the sun was setting, Anna had just come back home and as she left her handbag in its usual place, she realized Mary hadn't left the room in the whole day. She hadn't been sure of what had actually happened between her and Matthew the night before and she had not been sure whether to ask or not, but now that she looked at the cold lunch she had left for her friends several hours before, she was starting to get worried.

Immediately, Anna checked the drawers where she usually kept liquors and the white wine she had left opened in the fridge. Everything was as she had left it, but Anna couldn't bare the thought of seeing her best friend entering the tunnel of depression once again, so she decided to knock on Mary's door and hope for the best.

She knocked twice with no answer, and at the third she just decided to get in. The bedroom was the darkest she had ever seen it, with the french windows shut probably from the night before, and Mary sat on one angle of the queen size bed with her knees against her chest in fetal position.

"Sweetie!" Anna cried as she hurried on the bed, "What's going on?" she asked concerned, and as she managed move some strands of her hair from her face, she noticed her eyes were swollen and red from crying.

"Please don't tell Sybil you found me like this." Mary said, with her voice still trembling from her sobs.

"You know I won't tell, but you have to tell me what is going on. Why are you crying?"

"Because I messed up again," Mary replied cryptically, " Even as I tried to do something good, I managed to make a huge mess." she stopped for a moment and looked at the kind smile Anna was giving her, as she patted her back gently, " I am crying because I have _fallen in love_ with Matthew." she declared, "I love him … and tomorrow he's marrying somebody else."

Anna tried to look at the situation more lucidly than her friend could, and remembered about the previous night and the way Matthew had been looking at Mary. "Did something else happen between you two? Last night things seemed so tense before we left."

"No, nothing more has happened! I couldn't have let it! But last night … last night something was _different_. He wanted to tell me something but I didn't want get my hopes up … I could not listen any more of his words … so sweet and yet so meaningless, because if I did I don't think I would have been able to say goodbye, but now … Now I can't think about anything else!"

Anna watched her friend drying her tears and pondered a while before speaking, " I think you should tell him."

"What?"

"I think you should tell him how you feel." Anna clarified, leaving Mary completely speechless. "I have known you for a long time now and I've never, ever seen you behaving this way for a man like today or in the past month. If you go to him and tell him, you'll have nothing more to lose."

Mary's eyes were hopeful by her friend's encouragement, but she quickly realized: "It doesn't matter now, it's too late …"

"It's not too late." Anna disagreed.

"Anna, it's less than twenty-four hours, there's not enough time to reach him. Not at a moment like this …"

"It's plenty of time!" Anna insisted and stretched her arm to grab something from the nightstand. " Plus, you know exactly _where_ to reach him!"

"The _rehearsal dinner_?!" Mary's eyes widened as she saw the invite in Anna's hands, "Are you crazy?! I cannot go there!"

"Why not?" Anna asked nonchalantly, " You are invited."

"Yes, but _it's not_— I mean, _I_— I don't even have anything to wear for such occasion!" Mary replied frustrated.

Anna chuckled at her best friend's lame excuse, "It doesn't matter, you are not going to stay and chat. Your intention is to break the whole thing up!"

"Still, I don't I—"

"What about the dress your fashion house sent?" Anna caught her off guard, " That's one beautiful dress!"

Mary remembered the beautiful black dress with the golden corsage that had arrived a few days back. It was her favourite of her new collection, and she couldn't believe it had turned out so well. " But … but that dress is _too grand_ ! I don't want to stand out!" she found the new excuse.

_Classic Mary_, Anna thought … One moment something isn't _grand enough_ and the other it is simply _too grand_! Too bad Anna was used to all of Mary's tricks, so she replied without blinking, "I don't care. Tonight you are going, you are confessing your love once and for all and you are _definitely_ wearing that dress!"

Those words were final, but even as she tried to find yet another excuse to get herself out of it, Mary felt a rush of adrenaline coming to her from Anna's encouragement. In the end she agreed to everything and right before heading to the bathroom to take a shower, she stopped and took her mobile to send Rose a text.

_I know you've told me a thousand times. I know I've denied it as much and shut you up whenever you spoke of it. I know I've made you feel bad and I'm sorry I have snapped at you … but you were right.__** I love him**__ … and tonight I'm going to tell him how I feel. _

_-Mary_

* * *

The desolated area of the countryside where the Four Season was located, that night was illuminated only by the lights coming from the windows of the immense building. The hotel by itself was a marvellous place, but this particular part of Yorkshire wasn't exactly a common destination to tourists, so that night great part of the people animating those facilities where manly the guests who kept arriving for Matthew's and Lavinia's rehearsal dinner.

A bounce guarded the door, and while all the guests were being seated in the immense dining room, Matthew was trying to reason with Reginald Swire in the small corridor that led to the hall and the wardrobe.

"Reggie, I'm quite serious!" Matthew cried, trying not to raise his voice too much, facing the old man's stubbornness.

"I won't allow you ruin everything, young man! These are just nerves, but right now you have to go back to that dining hall and act as if nothing happened and you are not to tell Lavinia a thing about this nonsense!" Reggie on the other hand, did not care for subtlety. His words were angry and almost sounded like threats.

"I don't want to make her suffer as much as you don't, but don't you see how this is all for the best? I'm sorry it took me so long to realize this, I truly am! But you certainly don't want your daughter unhappily married, don't you?"

Someone called Reggie from the other room and as he replied to the call, he turned his annoyed gaze once again in Matthew's direction. "Listen to me, it's too late for you to change your mind. I'm tired to listen to you … Don't let me remind you that you are where you are because of me, Matthew … Please don't let it come to this …" he said bitterly and left without giving him the chance to reply.

Matthew massaged his temple for the frustration and lifted his gaze in search for his mother but when he did, his eyes were instantly enraptured by the very person that walked through the door in that moment. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen.

He did not feel compelled as he had been the night of the dance when she had come to greet him in that very revealing dress, no … This time he was completely bewitched. It was a long black dress with a simple, strapless, golden corsage that went perfectly with her alabaster skin and her silky brown her, falling on her back in an elegant, yet elaborated ponytail. Somehow Matthew felt that this dress described Mary perfectly. Not the sexy, wild persona the tabloids described and behind which she had hidden for years. Mary was something else entirely. She was elegant and regal, beautiful and mysterious, dark and fair at the same time with a sensuality that went beyond her looks but was perfectly detectable in those big brown eyes.

His heart stopped as saw her and as their eyes locked, Matthew dared to hope she was there for him, to make everything better …

Mary was petrified as well. The adrenaline she had felt leaving Anna's house seemed to have vanished as soon as she had entered the door, but as she looked into Matthew's beautiful blue eyes she knew this was _right_, no matter how all the odds seemed to be against her. She took a deep breath and while clinging to her black pochette furiously, she told herself to walk towards him … until she heard a strangely familiar voice at her back.

"Mary?"

"_Papa?_" Mary whispered in disbelief once she had turned. She could not believe what she was seeing: her father, the Earl of Grantham, stood before her.

"Mary, what are you doing here?" he asked quite annoyed, sparing her any sort of affection.

"What are _you _doing here?!" Mary replied, visibly hurt by his cold behaviour.

" As a matter of fact, _I _was invited. They're having the reception at the Abbey, so they invited me as a thank you for making our home available."

"I don't know why you should think that I wasn't invited as well!"

"I don't need to ask that to know you are up to something." Robert declared coldly as Mary's mouth fell open for his audacity.

"You don't know anything!"

" _Go home,_ Mary. I'm saying this for you, you don't want to cause troubles. These people have done nothing to you, just let it go."

Matthew had been called for a moment up in the corridor. He had seen Mary's father approaching her, but he hadn't been able to hear a single thing they were saying. When he came back to the hall, he had all the intention to intervene, sensing such confrontation wasn't going to bring anything good. But as he found himself in the big hall again, Matthew noticed how Lord Grantham was on his path to the dining hall, while Mary was nowhere to be seen.

**A/N:**_ Just a quick thank you to all the wonderful people who stuck by me and comforted me through the events concerning last chapter, this new chapter is for you. As for the disappointed people, I'm sorry … but this is the story I wanted to write, case closed. _

_I know I'm super mean because I've ended this with a cliffhanger, but I hope this chapter pleased you anyway. I know Reggie Swire is a dick, but let's not get too worked up over this … I did warn you. Regarding Robert, I know it's heartbreaking but we shall wait for the next chapter to say more on the matter!_

_Thank you for reading and tune in for the next and last chapter of this fanfiction, where the Crawleys make their come back, trains threaten to leave and Rose simply cannot leave this story the way we saw in this chapter._


	10. The True Love Proclamation

**A/N: **_Here we are at the end of this journey with the big mess that is this final chapter! I want to thank you all and hope that this end pleases you all the same. I long to hear your thought about it and I should warn you that I've turned the rating up to M for the strong language in this chapter._

_And now … enjoy!_

**Chapter Ten: The True Love Proclamation**

Rose moved from left to right in the back seat of the dark cab in the attempt to recognise the landscape outside the window. She had never been in that part of Downton and as the car passed through tree-lined streets and desolate stretches of grass, she thought that that probably had to do with the lack of civilization.

The cab stopped way before she anticipated and as she noticed the great number of white tracks lined up before the building, she asked the driver, "Have we arrived, sir?"

"Yes we have, Miss." The driver replied reluctantly in his strong indian accent, "You said Downton Abbey, didn't you?"

"Yes, yes exactly." Rose cut short and jumped out of the car to see for herself. When she lifted her nose up in the air though, she did not anticipate the magnificence of the historic building in front of her, "_Holy sh—" _

"It'd be eighteen pounds fifty." the driver informed her visibly annoyed by her carelessness towards him.

Rose was still far too impressed by the size of Mary's childhood home to put up with the driver's indignant tone, so she simply got ahold of a twenty-pounds bill from her wallet and encouraged the ungrateful bastard to keep the change. Still in awe, she moved small steps towards the front door, unsure whether she should have looked for a proper door bell or just bang on the door old style. Before she actually reached the threshold however, the door opened right before her eyes revealing a tall man in a full set of tails. His old features were severe but his eyes were gentle.

"Hello,Mr! My name is Rose McClare," Rose introduced herself awkwardly "Are you Mary's dad?" she asked the impassible man. She had never seen a man dressed like that in the middle of the day, but she supposed it should have been how earls dressed every day.

"Good Morning Miss McClare," the man greeted her formally, "I'm afraid you have me mistaken, I am _not_ _Lady _Mary's father, the Earl of Grantham. I am Mr Carson, the butler of Downton Abbey."

"_Yeah, right!_" Rose snorted, "And I am the cook!" she joked, " Mary never told me she had a funny dad!"

"_Actually,_" Carson replied without losing his composure, "The cook in this house is Mrs Beryl Patmore." he punctuated very seriously. "Now if you'd be so kind to tell me your relation to Lady Mary, I will show you to Lady Grantham in the drawing room."

* * *

"Seriously Cora, I thought I came here for tea, not just for the chatter!" Violet remarked bitterly as her daughter-in-law stared at her exasperated in the drawing room.

"To be fair Mama, I think this wedding reception has pretty monopolized the whole staff. I'll go in the kitchens to see for myself." Cora informed her as she stood up from her seat, but before Violet could mutter something about it being unacceptable that a Lady should get her own tea, Carson walked in the room taking both ladies by surprise.

"Oh Carson, just in time!" Cora cried, happy to be saved by her mother-in-law's whining, " We rang for tea a while back, but the staff must have been taken by some more important tasks!"

Carson flinched upon hearing how the two Lady Grantham had been left waiting, but regained his composure quickly to announce the unexpected guest. "I'll send for your tea _immediately_, m'lady. Although I'm actually here to inform you we seem to have a guest."

" A _guest?_" Violet interjected before Cora could ask for a clarification.

"A young lady to the name of Miss Rose McClare. She claims to be Lady Mary's friend."

Cora's heart skipped a beat when she heard the name of her eldest daughter. She had never really agreed with the methods Robert had used with her. She had stood by him like a good wife because she knew that her husband only wanted the best for their daughters and especially Mary, but she had also hoped that as Mary proved them wrong by building a successful career, things would have settled themselves but Robert did not seem to cease.

The had disagreed once again when Mary had gotten involved in the turkish actor scandal. Robert believed that for the sake of their household and their position in society they should have waited for _Mary_ to ask _them_ for help and not come to her rescue and get involved. But Cora knew Mary and even Sybil were far too stubborn to reach out, and quite frankly she couldn't care less about _their household_ if only her and Robert were the ones left in it.

"Well, let her in of course!" she urged Carson as her voice trembled for the anticipation. She could not help hoping that _this friend_ of Mary's had something to tell her that would help her reach out to her daughter somehow.

Carson moved away from the door and let Rose in, who stepped in awkwardly dragging her heavy bag and without hiding her gasps to the sight of yet another beautiful room.

"Good morning … Rose, is it?" Cora began friendly as Violet studied her attentively from her seat.

"Oh, yes yes … I'm Rose, it's nice to meet you Mrs Crawley!" she said offering her hand while Carson was hyperventilating again because of Rose's ignorance.

Cora chuckled at her butler's distress, but reassured him, "It's alright, Carson. Just bring the tea for Miss Rose as well." she asked and as the butler exited the room she invited Rose to sit down. "It's nice to meet you too, Rose. My name is Cora, I'm Mary's mother."

" And I'm Violet Crawley, the Dowager Countess of Grantham." Violet intervened, fearing Cora would have improperly introduced her as well.

Rose seemed quite confused by Violet's intervention, so Cora decided to go on, "Mr Carson said you are a friend of Mary's, are you here perhaps to deliver a message from her?"

"Actually, I was hoping to find her here. I should return something to her but I can't seem to reach her. I've heard from her last night but now her mobile has been off the whole morning. I tried to reach her at the address she gave to the Clinic, you know … John Bates' house, but there was no one there and—"

"Wait a minute," Cora interrupted her, "You said John Bates as in … John Bates, the principal of _Downton _Prep?"

"Exactly," Rose said simply, "She's been staying there while she's worked at the Clinic for the past month. Apparently he's dating Mary's best friend Anna and—"

"Mary has been in Downton for the past _month_?" Cora echoed loudly as Violet became restless, "And what is this _Clinic_ you're talking about?"

"Cora, I think you're missing the point here …" Violet intervened coughing nervously, " Don't you think we should focus on the fact that your daughter is _missing_?"

"How can you be so calm, Mama? When Mary has been here a whole month and we didn't know about it?" Cora asked exasperated, facing the old woman's blue eyes in utter disbelief until … it all became clear, "You knew she was here, _didn't you_?" she asked once again, this time her tone becoming accusatory.

"I'm very sorry Cora, but she made me promise." Violet tried to make up for that mess, "I thought that in time she would have come to you …"

"Rose," Cora began after turning her back on Violet completely, " Can you please tell me exactly how do you know my daughter?"

"Of course," Rose muttered, now slightly intimidated by the sudden awkwardness she seemed to have created, "Mary worked as a volunteer in the clinic I was hospitalized. The name is _House of Downton's Lost Girls," Rose said twitching her nose, "I—I've had some problems with … alcohol and stuff." she explained briefly, "If it hadn't been for Mary and Matthew – I mean, Mr Crawley__ – __I don't think I would have been able to get over my bullshit," she said and realized the old lady had given her a disapproving look due to her choices of words, " They were the first ones to actually believe in me in a very long time."_

_Cora felt proud tears stinging her eyes, her darling daughter, she thought. But she didn't want to lose her composure in front of a seventeen years old, so for the sake of the argument she asked, "You said Matthew Crawley?__"_

_"__You know him?" Rose asked slightly amused, "Mary told me they went to school together."_

_"__You can hardly forget about all that Mary put him through … do you recall, Mama?" Cora asked chuckling, forgetting for a moment why she was mad at her in the first place, "That is why I found it really odd that he wanted to have his wedding reception__here of all places …"_

_"__I'm sorry," Rose intervened confused, " Who's getting married?"_

_"__But that Matthew Crawley of course!" Cora replied, confused on why it wasn't obvious, "He's marrying some offspring of the London society, a Miss Lavinia Swire. The service is in a few hours and we're handling the reception here later on …"_

_"__This can't be right." Rose simply said, blinking furiously to her own disbelief._

_"__And why is that, dear?" Violet intervened._

_"__Because Matthew is in love with Mary!" Rose stated as if it was a truth universally acknowledged._

_"__I'm sorry?" Cora asked, it was her that couldn't understand now._

_"__Yes!" Rose claimed, "Matthew is in love with Mary and she is with him!"_

_"__But darling … maybe you got confused, maybe—"_

_"__There was nothing to be confused about, Mrs Crawley – I mean, Lady Grantham!" she cried at the top of her lungs, "I'm talking about big time, epic love! Now I understand why Mary was so dodgy about it! She didn't want me to know she had fallen for someone who's engaged!"_

_Cora took a deep breath and tried to keep up with all of the new informations. She turned to Violet for a moment, but it seems this__was news for the Dowager Countess as well. _

_"__But you said this young man … this Matthew__is in love with her as well?" Violet intervened, trying to make sense of things._

_Rose nodded enthusiastically, " I'm sure of it! He only had eyes for Mary and he never once mentioned having a girlfriend, let alone a fiancée!" somehow Violet didn't seem so please to know that, "He's a good guy!" Rose pleaded, " From what I gather, they met again recently after ten years … It—it must have been then that they fell for each other unexpectedly!" Rose didn't feel so comfortable telling Mary's mother and grandmother about Mary's sexual encounters, "These things happen, you can't hardly do anything about it!" she tried to justify._

_"__I—I quite agree, but …" Cora stammered, " How can he still be getting married today, if he is indeed in love with my daughter?"_

_"__Look, I don't know much about this wedding … hell,__I didn't even know about it until this morning! But I know that Mary was pretty adamant on not showing her true feelings and I'm pretty sure he had no clue about them. But last night Mary sent me this text … she was going to tell him! I thought everything was for the best but now she's nowhere to be found!"_

_"__Oh my darling!__" __Cora cried, bringing a hand to her lips._

_"__I think we shouldn't panic just yet, maybe—"_

_"__Why shouldn't we panic? What's going on?" _

_All three women turned their head to the door where the male voice came from. Lord Grantham had just walked in followed by Carson with the tea tray. At the mention of panic__and with the look on Cora's face, even the butler had become slightly alarmed._

_"__Oh Robert! You won't believe this, but Mary has been in Downton for a whole month!" Cora didn't see the surprised expression on her husband's face that she expected, he was instead more interested on the new addition to the drawing room. " This is Rose, Mary's friend." she explained, "Do you realize she met one of our daughters here, in Downton?__" _

_Robert was about to reply but Rose interjected, "Actually I've met all of your daughters."_

_"__What?" Cora cried, " All three__of them?" it was normal she might have bumped into Edith, but Sybil … well that was impossible._

_"__Yes," Rose nodded, " the blond one and the pregnant one."_

_"__What?!"_

_"__You must have confused her with somebody else, young lady …" Robert intervened trying not to be too taken by the revelation._

_"__Pretty brunette with curly hair, green eyes and her own personal irishman?" _

_Cora gasped, but Robert still refused to acknowledge it, "Still, you might have—"_

_"__Oh for God's sake it's true, she's pregnant!"_

_"__Mama?!" Cora cried, "You knew this too?!"_

_"__Since you were expecting some kind of apology for God knows what, yes … I've had the both of them over about a month ago. Sybil went back to Ireland and she'll probably stay there until she's given birth, while Mary decided to stay."_

_"__My baby, pregnant!__" __Cora cried in a tone half excited, half concerned, "Robert, you must know I won't keep this up any longer. I won't be separated from my first grandchild, whatever the reasons!"_

_"__I completely agree my darling, but …" Violet spoke once again before the spouses would start to argue, " As much as I want to bug you about this all day long Robert, if you'd be so kind to get over yourself for one minute, you should listen to what this young lady has to say …"_

_Robert still stood there, stiff … nervously listening to that blonde girl going on about Mary working as a volunteer, saving her life, about his daughter being in love with this man, Matthew, the very same man that had booked the Abbey for his wedding that same day, about how his daughter was nowhere to be seen. The panic came over him all at once, and Robert was no longer able to listen to her. He passed his fingers nervously through his hair and shouted, "This doesn't prove anything!" his wife and mother watched him in stupor, " Who can tell us that this girl isn't a pathologic liar, given the place she was in?!"_

_"__ROBERT!" Cora cried disgusted, unable to recognise her husband in that red-faced man._

_" __We don't even know her!" He shouted back, so loud so he couldn't hear the voice inside of him._

_"__Maybe my words haven't persuaded you, but this will …" Rose announced calmly and opened up the heavy bag she had been carrying. "Mary lent those to me but forgot to get them back," she said as she took the volumes out, " She told me these are her most valued possessions."_

_Cora took the volumes in her hands and looked at them closely before handing them to her husband, "Robert, a—aren't these from our library here in Downton?"_

_Robert did not answer right away, but Cora noticed immediately the tears watering his eyes, "These are the classics I gave her when she left for university, I—I had no idea she still carried them around …"_

_Rose hated to interrupt what seemed be a tender moment from the Earl and the Countess, but if Matthew was indeed getting married in a few hours, they needed to find Mary as soon as possible! "I know I came into your beautiful home and dropped a bomb like that on you," she began capturing everyone's attention, " but Mary is still missing and we should look for her, I didn't know anywhere else to go! Something must have happened last night because told me she was going to see him and tell him how she felt and now—" _

_"__Oh my God!__" __Robert cried without letting her finish._

_"__What is it, my darling?" Cora asked worriedly._

_"__The truth is I – I saw Mary last night." he admitted and his heart broke upon hearing Cora's gasp, "I went to Matthew Crawley's rehearsal dinner and saw her coming in." the words seemed to die in his throat, but Cora deserved to know the truth, " I couldn't know she – I mean I—I thought she was up to her hold tricks given her history with the fellow … I thought she wanted to make a fool of herself, I was disappointed so …"_

_"__So?" his mother demanded with a severe expression._

_"__So I told her to go, I … told her to leave those people alone, that she didn't want to ruin their lives …"_

_"__Oh my baby, you broke her heart!" Cora whispered through her tears. "What can we do now? How can we make this right?"_

_"__We have to find her! This wedding isn't happening!" Rose proclaimed with a little too much enthusiasm._

_"__But how can we reach her?"_

_"__Does any of you have her friend's mobile number? Anna?" Rose suggested but all three of them shook her head. "Who can we call then?"_

_"__Edith." Violet expressed without losing her composure, " We all know that girl has many qualities, but she isn't very good at keeping her mouth shut!"_

_Cora quickly nodded and got ahold of the house's cordless phone. She dialled Edit's number and waited patiently until the first ring sounded in the receiver, only to have Rose encourage her to put it on speaker mode._

_"__Mama?" Edith replied as if taken out of the blue, "Good morning! What is it?"_

_"__Edith dear, I need to know where Mary is."_

_"__Mary?" Edith echoed with audible panic in her voice, " Isn't she in London?" she tried as Violet rolled her eyes._

_"__Edith, we know your sister is Downton." Cora clarified, unwilling to play any games._

_"__I truly don't know what you're talking about, I—"_

_"__Edith, tell them where she is." _

_"__Granny?__" __Edith ventured upon hearing a different voice._

_"__Yes dear, it's your grandmother. Now suck it up and tell us where has Mary disappeared to!"_

_There was a pause at the other end of the call but after letting out a loud sigh, Edith gave up,"She is leaving for London from York this morning, in … forty-five minutes to be precise."_

_"__What?!" Rose gasped._

_Edith decided to ignore the fact that she had heard yet another voice and went on, "I don't know what happened exactly but last night Mary packed her bags and decided to leave this morning. Anna and John are probably driving her to York right now. I'm sorry, but I really don't know anything else."_

_"__Don't worry dear," Cora replied before any of the others could shower her daughter with any more questions, "I think it's enough. Thank you!"_

_Before anyone could suggest any way to move on, Robert put one hand on Cora's shoulder and squeezed gently, "I'm driving, let's go girls … Mama, are you coming?"_

_"__As much as I'd love to witness all of it, I think it's time you properly face your daughter on your own." Robert exchanged one sad look with his wise mother and in a few minutes, they were off._

* * *

_Mary did not like York's central station. It was messy, it smelled like sweat and it brought up a whole set of bad memories … This particular day was no exception. Anna and John had had to drop her off and leave right away but Mary did not bear them a grudge over it, that morning more than anything else she needed to be alone._

_She felt so incredibly sad and she was so angry at herself because of it. The past month in Downton had meant to her more that she could have ever foreseen, that is why she could not__believe that it had all been ruined but such an insignificant detail, by such a small thing … only, it had never__been small or insignificant._

_She was in love with Matthew Crawley and this time, no matter how much pain it caused her, she was willing to admit it. If there was something she had learnt from the girls at the clinic, it was that the worst thing you could do is lie to yourself. _

_Admitting you have a problem is the first step towards recovery. Mary had never really understood Doctor Clarkson's words until that day, but now she truly felt them as her own. Being honest with herself after having denied it for such a long time made her feel like she finally had some control over herself. It was strange how a feeling so drenching and so consuming could somehow make you feel so powerful. _

_So__powerful that she had almost done something incredibly stupid. Mary didn't know now what she had actually hoped to achieve with her grand gesture, maybe it would have somehow liberated her from this heavy burden, but reality had come crashing down on her in the likes of her father. She had fantasized about stopping the wedding of the man she loved and finally rekindle the relationship with her parents, but the harsh condition of reality had hit her all at once as she had heard her father's voice the night before._

_The way he had looked at her, the words he had spoken, so very much like the day she had told him about her plans to leave University; had crashed her dreams altogether. Matthew wouldn't have stopped his wedding if he was standing there at his rehearsal dinner the day before, and as much as it pained her to realize it, she wasn't going to make things right with her family either because her father hadn't seen her in over a year and all he had to give her were severe looks and harsh words._

_It was time to put an end to this fairytale__she had created about her in Downton, so when finally the number of the platform appeared on the big screen, she held her grip tightly on her trolley and held back the tears that were threatening to come down her cheeks. Her feet moved automatically towards the train while her heart secretly longed to retreat, until her own body stopped suddenly when she thought her mind was starting to play tricks on her. _

_She recognized three distinct voices through the crowd and while she could have accuse her mind to be fabricating illusions, what made it extremely crazy was the fact that those voices put together did not make any sense._

_"__Hurry up! It says platform nine!" Cora cried trotting in pole position._

_"__Are you sure you won't let me drive on the way back?" Rose begged in her witty tone, following Lord Grantham faithfully, "That car is a babe!"_

_"__It is exactly because I care about that care that I don't want you to drive it!" Robert tried to reason with Rose's singular request to drive his jaguar cabriolet, while making his way through the crowd._

_"__Darling, I don't think it's safe since you don't have a driving licence." Cora offered in a much sweeter tone to make up for her husband's reaction. She was focused on finding her daughter before it was too late, but at the same time she didn't want to lose sight of Robert and Rose, who she knew were essential to convince Mary to stay. Cora's blue eyes moved in every direction followed restlessly by her feet, until the sight of a familiar pink trolley paired up with a pair of sandals she remembered having purchased as a birthday present not long ago made her stop and stare. _

_Her heart stopped as her eyes climbed up through Mary's flawless figure and she didn't have the time to call for her attention because as soon as Cora's eyes reached Mary's face, they found hers staring back at her with all of the soulful intelligence that always distinguished her._

_"__Mama?__" __she called in her elegant voice in which Cora heard stupor and fear, while her eyes quickly moved to Robert and Rose who seemed to still have their little banter going on._

_"__My darling, please I—"_

_"__Rose?! What on earth are you doing here?" Mary cried in a feeble voice and gave Rose no time to answer properly because the confusion, the amazement was too much, " What is he doing here?" she mouthed next, incapable to sound anything but bitter when she talked about her father._

_"__Mary you can't go back to London!" Rose cried with the simple naivety that characterized her young age, Mary couldn't help but smile at how both sweet and clueless she sounded, "You can't go without telling Matthew you love him!"_

_"__Darling we are here to take you to him," Cora tried to explain and as she__spoke their words became more real and much crazier than she expected._

_But Mary could not believe it. She couldn't afford believing in them and having her heart broken all over again. She had to defend herself from the way they were looking at her, so she laughed bitterly and said, "I thought I didn't want to ruin people's lives." Her words were a challenge for one singular recipient and they didn't go unnoticed because as Robert's mindful eyes met Mary's, it was as if everyone in the crowded train station, Cora and Rose included, had disappeared._

_"__I was wrong." Robert simply put, never leaving her daughter's eyes. He had no idea how those simple three words meant everything to Mary. She suddenly felt unstable on her own two feet, taken by strength of her hope that somehow her father still cared for her. "I didn't know what was really going on between you two … I just assumed you were looking for troubles and worst of all I did not trust you. I was angry and frustrated when you and Sybil took other directions in your life because I—I was afraid I could not keep up. I was terrified that you wouldn't need me anymore and I got so stuck in my own convictions that when you needed me the most … I was not there for you. I don't know if I'll ever forgive myself for that, but this time without any hope or agenda … can you let me do this for__you?" his words were consumed in the chilly morning air, and as he spoke them the train behind Mary's back left right after the warning whistle. Robert did not give up and reprised his plead, "Will you let me make up for at least one of my mistakes? I've never heard you use the word love__so easily and if I'm the reason for you to give up__on it, I'm pretty sure I'll regret in until the day I die."_

_Mary stood there more still than ever, petrified and yet fired up by her father's words. She simply didn't know how to respond to such a declaration, she was not used to it. Witty remarks had always been her forte, but a honest, heartfelt discussion was something else entirely._

_"__Well," she began as Rose's as well as her mother's hopeful look were on her, " I just missed my train, didn't I? Since I'm left stranded, I might take up on your offer." With these words Mary let her mother wind her in a tight embrace, while with her father one single, forgiving look was worth more than a thousand words._

_"__Ehm.." Rose coughed a few minutes later, "It's not that I'm not glad for this happy family reunion, but … don't you think we should arrive before Matthew says 'I do' if we bare any hope to stop this wedding?"_

_"__Rose is right." Robert declared, determined not to let any of the women beside him see the tears of joy in his eyes. "The service starts in a few minutes." he informed them as he looked at his wrist watch._

_The quartet moved quickly through the crowd, smacking people and apologizing to them in their way. When they reached the black jaguar waiting for them outside, Rose loaded Mary's luggage in the trunk pretty quickly and as they all took their seats, Mary shyly asked Robert, "Do you think we'll make it to Downton in time?"_

_"__You should hold on to your seats," Robert said with a small smile, " because I don't think you've ever witnessed me driving as fast as I am about to."_

* * *

_The atmosphere outside Downton Cathedral was cheerful. Decorations hung from the trees and all around the small churchyard, but most of the well-dressed guests had started to stand up and walk outside the church, some to smoke a cigarette, others just out of boredom and curiosity. _

_Something was definitely not right, and being outside was perhaps more polite than actually ask to any close relatives of either the bride or the groom why the service was running so late. Rumours on the betrothed's whereabouts had already started to circulate, but the nicer guests preferred to justify such commotion to the almost traditional lateness of the bride. That was why, when the loud noise of a sports car filled the air around the church, all the heads of the people standing outside turned instantly, hopeful that the ceremony would finally begin._

_But the ceremony was not about to begin, and the woman who stepped out of the black Porsche was definitely not the bride. With her messy hair and casual clothes she couldn't even pass for one of the guests, and the people outside the church simply witnessed with utter amazement her walking inside the cathedral followed by an hyperactive teenager._

_Robert and Cora went on to park the car, while Rose and Mary stepped inside the church not caring for any of the odd looks shot in their direction. They walked fast through the other guests searching for Matthew's figure or any other familiar faces. _

_"__Mary? Rose?" they both heard a familiar voice coming from the top of the nave and they realized it belonged to Matthew's mother, Isobel._

_"__Oh Isobel, thank God you're here!" Mary cried gratefully, as she reached the woman who was looking at her apprehensively, "I know my request may sound strange at a time like this, but I really need to see Matthew …"_

_The older woman grabbed her hands and looked at her, hinting that she understood perfectly, "Mary, Matthew isn't here …" she said as Mary gasped, " … he never showed up!". Mary's mind started to run wild through the possible scenarios, was he running away from the wedding? Was he simply just late? "When I woke up this morning he was already gone and when I left for the church, his smoking was still hanging in his bedroom." Isobel added, trying to make the picture clearer._

_As the two women were reasoning, Rose noticed Lord and Lady Grantham stepping inside the church and waved at them to come where they stood. But before Mary's parents reached them, someone else joined impetuously the conversation._

_"__YOU!" his unfamiliar voice sounded in Mary's ears, "How do you dare__coming here of all places?! You must tell me at once where the hell__is he!"_

_Mary turned instantly, realizing those harsh words were addressed to her, but before she could answer Robert interjected, "How dare you__speak to my daughter__in such a manner, sir?"_

_"__Papa, it's alright!" Mary tried to reassure, "I have no idea of who this man is, so I would really like to know in what way I may have offended him."_

_"__This is Reginald Swire, Lavinia's father …" Isobel explained to the small crowd, hoping to calm things down, " … and it really puzzles me that you should use such a tone with her, Reggie!"_

_"__Do you all think me stupid?!" the angry man went on, "All of Matthew's absurd talking of calling off the wedding? Do you think I don't know who has put him up to this?"_

_"__Yes, you don't." Isobel replied just as angry before Mary could defend herself, "Because I was the one to tell him to call it off!" she revealed, taking everyone by surprise. " I told him marrying Lavinia out of duty to her or yourself was wrong when he is in love with somebody else. I told him the only thing he owes your daughter is her own chance of happiness, and if you had just listened to what he had to say, you would have realized how wrong going on with this wedding is! He was only trying to be honest and—"_

_"__Honest?" Reggie laughed bitterly, "Then how do you explain those filthy paparazzi pictures I had to buy not to taint your precious son's name with hers?"_

_"__Paparazzi pictures?" Mary echoed extremely puzzled._

_"__Pictures of you two holding hands like bloody third graders at that cheap__loony house event!" Reggie shouted, "I bought them to protect his reputation and what does he want to do to repay me? He wants to break my daughter's heart by telling her he can't__marry her because he fucked this … this slut, and somehow he got deluded it was love!"_

_"__Sir, you take that back!" Robert urged coming onto the foul-mouthed man, as Cora and Rose tried to hold him back._

_"__I won't take that back!" he shouted, followed by the crowd's mutterings, " My daughter is hiding__in the back room right now, crying in her wedding dress and it is all because of your__daughter!"_

_Isobel simply could not put up with any more of the man's nonsense, so she turned her back on the man completely to face Mary. " Mary, dear, do you know if there is somewhere in particular where Matthew might have gone?" she asked hopefully, determined to ignore Lavinia's father._

_Mary blinked nervously, trying to come up with the place that would have made more sense. "There might be a place …" she found herself saying, her whole body visibly one step ahead of her own self._

_"__You must go to him!" Rose encouraged her and Mary nodded filled with newfound hope and wonder. Both her parents and Isobel gave her encouraging looks, but before she left she was once again taken by that dreadful man's words._

_"__Yes, go to him!__Go to him and tell him he can't forget about his job or any other job for that matter, because I'll make sure no other firm will take him on!"_

_The small group quickly exited the church, convinced there was no point in trying to reason with that man, and as Mary looked around the cathedral's surrounding, trying to orientate herself, Robert offered, "If you tell me where to go, I can drive you there!"_

_"__It's pointless," Mary cried exasperated, trying to come up with something, " you can't reach it with the car, and I don't think I can go that far in these shoes!" she complained and still looked around for answers until she saw a young girl cycling through the square not far from them. "Stop!" Mary yelled almost scaring the little girl off. "Darling that man is my father," she told her as she reached her, " she's going to give you a lift in a very pretty car, but right now I really need to use your bicycle! I promise I'll get it back to you!" _

_The little girl nodded and none of the witnessed realized what were Mary's intentions until she mounted the small bike and started to cycle awkwardly. Rose grinned and took her smartphone out of her pocket._

_"__Dear, what are you doing?" Cora asked after her curious behaviour._

_"__Lady Mary Crawley riding a little girl's bicycle?!" Rose laughed whole-heartedly as took a picture of the historic event, "This is so__going on my twitter!"_

_Cora couldn't help but smile at the young girl's remark but as she happily saw her daughter off, her attention was soon captured by the commotion that now seemed to animate the churchyard. She turned her head briefly and gasped with the same stupor of all the other guests, as she saw the bride angrily walk towards them._

_"__What is happening?!" Lavinia shouted, "What is she doing here?!" she went on in a full hysteric episode._

_Rose rolled her eyes very much like she had witnessed Mary do so many times and said, "I'll tell you what isn't happening,__honey … your wedding!"_

* * *

_Mary cycled breathlessly through the small streets and fields of her countryside village until she finally reached the school grounds. She knew the bicycle had never suited her as a mean of transportation and she really doubted she looked anything but ridiculous in that moment as well. But all of that didn't matter because as her legs moved frantically with those pedals, her heart was beating relentlessly and for the first time in a long time she truly felt sure, fearless, happy._

_If he loves me, he will be there. _

_She kept chanting those words restlessly in her head, following the accelerated rhythm of her heart. There was nothing else standing in the way of her and Matthew, no obstacle to threaten their happiness. She loved him, oh boy __… __She loved him! Mary realized now how beautiful it was, how marvellous it was to feel this way, how worth every single moment of her heartache it was!_

_Mary could have gone on and say to herself she had probably loved him from the first moment that she had seen him or all of those other nonsense people say in these situation, but the reality of their love, the true meaning of her affection, to Mary was much more beautiful. She had come to fully__know him in this past month and she had fallen in love with him, all of him__ … __She had known him chubby and she had known him handsome, she had heard him joking and she had heard him talking seriously, she had witnessed him doing the most wonderful things and she had witnessed him messing up big time … _

_The realization that she loved someone as real as her own self so completely, with all of his virtues and especially__with all of his vices, filled Mary's heart like nothing else and made her feel like, for just this once, she finally understood what being alive__truly meant._

_Finally, after hitting way too many three roots with those fragile bicycle tyres, Mary recognized the wooden shed in the middle of the forest, the place where all of their troubles had truly begun. If he loves me, he will be there. She chanted one more time and with her heart filled with hope, she pushed the door of the shed wide open, only … there was nobody there._

_She stood there in shock for a couple of minutes, unable to move her own limbs. There was no logical explanation left to give, no other way left to soothe her surging pain and suddenly, Mary felt her legs cease, leaving her hopeless on the ground. She curled up to the wall, hugged her knees to her chest and started to sob quietly, in utter disbelief before the roller coaster of emotion she had been through in the just a few hours … but it was then that almost unconsciously, she heard a distinct sound of steps coming in her direction and she started to believe she had imagined them until …_

_"__Mary?" Matthew's voice was sweeter and softer then ever, as if out of one of her most secret dreams. Mary lifted her gaze and was surprised to find him standing there, looking at her with those beautiful blue eyes. Matthew came closer to her and bent down on his knees as well to take those hands she had used to rub her eyes in his, caressing them, kissing them …_

_"__You love me …" Mary whispered in utter disbelief, "You love me!" shesaid again with more conviction, as her sobs slowly turned into bittersweet laughter._

_Matthew chuckled as well as tears of joy watered his eyes, "I do, my darling, I do!" he cried joyfully, "I have no clue to when it started, but I know for sure it will not stop, it cannot__stop! I love you Mary Crawley, you are the one thing I have not planned … The most beautiful calamity to shaken up this boring life of mine! I know we've started badly, I know I haven't been honest in the past but please … give me a chance to be with you, because it is only because of you__that I know what loving someone truly means!"_

_Mary didn't give him the chance to go on any further because she threw her hands around his neck and kissed him with all the passion within her, leaving their lips to do the rest of the talking in a whole another way. Matthew responded to the kiss instantly and stood up taking her with him, lifting her up her feet and twirling her around. Nothing could have been more perfect than that moment._

_"__But …" Mary muttered when they broke apart just enough to breath, still tight in their embrace, " … what about your career? Everything you've worked for?" she asked breathlessly, a bit alarmed._

_"__I doesn't matter …" Matthew replied more sure than ever as he tucked a lock of hair gently behind her ear, "I have everything I've ever wanted right here."_

_**FIN**_

_**A/N: **__aaaand here we are! Sorry about all the OOCiness of the Swire family, I don't detest them at all, but this was the particular role they played in this very AU story. I hope you liked it because this was always the way I had envisioned it and I never really expected to care this much to this story as I have. But now it is your turn and for better and for worse I bid you goodbye for the Unexpected Past world, goodnight!_


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